The No T$ No B$ Thread

[Neil Crompton 5,309]

49 minutes ago, WalkingCivilWar said:

Demis Roussos?

Wardrobe dept budget would be spared. Wouldn’t have to buy any 7XL kaftans. 

Haha for someone who wanted to be banned from this site, you are doing an awful lot of posting on here WCW. 

[Redleg 40,034]

5 hours ago, WalkingCivilWar said:

Demis Roussos?

Wardrobe dept budget would be spared. Wouldn’t have to buy any 7XL kaftans. 

Don't think a dead person can play Uncle Bitter.

[dworship 3,342]

On 1/20/2023 at 6:45 PM, WalkingCivilWar said:

An exorcist maybe?

Hey, don't go expelling a Demon!

[Red and Bluebeard 2,075]

On 1/20/2023 at 4:39 PM, WalkingCivilWar said:

On that basis I should be sentenced to death. I used to be married to a Collingwood supporter and before that I was married to an 🤮 Essendon 🤮 supporter. Please don’t judge me 

Ah! I see a light in the tunnel here WCW. The key phrases here are "used to be" and "was", showing that there has indeed been a U-turn of sorts here. Note the present tense in my earlier post, ie about considering such a relationship now. That should be enough legalese to distract even the most pedantic Pharisees on this thread away from judgement, let alone sentencing. It seems ye have already repented, and so the light of the red and the blue shall be your only guide henceforth.

(Oh and if the food at the party includes fried bananas, does that mean you will have had a banana fritter with the Fritters? Had to "rail" this thread somehow ...😆)

[Redleg 40,034]

I think we need to get this thread back on to the footy, so let me pose the following question.

Which is greener, real grass or Astro turf?

[Bitter but optimistic 22,057]

21 minutes ago, Redleg said:

I think we need to get this thread back on to the footy, so let me pose the following question.

Which is greener, real grass or Astro turf?

Well Red ...... it obviously depends which side of the fence it's on.

[Redleg 40,034]

56 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Well Red ...... it obviously depends which side of the fence it's on.

Does spillage from a wine cask lighten or darken Astro turf?

Ask the butler, as he must have poured plenty of wines while you were on the manor tennis court or croquet course.

[old dee 23,486]

1 hour ago, Redleg said:

Does spillage from a wine cask lighten or darken Astro turf?

Ask the butler, as he must have poured plenty of wines while you were on the manor tennis court or croquet course.

Isn't it a croquet court? 

[Redleg 40,034]

28 minutes ago, old dee said:

Isn't it a croquet court? 

I don’t thinks it’s a croquet court, as the ones I have seen never have a border to the course.

However, you are correct, as they are called “courts”.

Edited January 22, 2023 by Redleg

[daisycutter 29,303]

just to be totally [censored]. they are also called a pitch

uncle bitters should be the authority here as every manor must have a croquet pitch

Quote

An official full-size croquet pitch is 28 yards wide by 35 yards long, but most casual players make up their own size depending on lawn space.) Players take turns: the player, or team, with the blue ball goes first, followed by the player with the red ball, then black, and finally yellow.

 

[Redleg 40,034]

2 hours ago, daisycutter said:

just to be totally [censored]. they are also called a pitch

uncle bitters should be the authority here as every manor must have a croquet pitch

 

Uncle Bitter uses the croquet mallets to keep the staff in line.

[daisycutter 29,303]

13 minutes ago, Redleg said:

Uncle Bitter uses the croquet mallets to keep the staff in line.

btw it looks as if only demon and tiger supporters can play "blue ball goes first, followed by the player with the red ball, then black, and finally yellow"

makes sense too that the blue and red balls play first.

[WalkingCivilWar 39,256]

17 hours ago, Red and Bluebeard said:

Ah! I see a light in the tunnel here WCW. The key phrases here are "used to be" and "was", showing that there has indeed been a U-turn of sorts here. Note the present tense in my earlier post, ie about considering such a relationship now. That should be enough legalese to distract even the most pedantic Pharisees on this thread away from judgement, let alone sentencing. It seems ye have already repented, and so the light of the red and the blue shall be your only guide henceforth.

(Oh and if the food at the party includes fried bananas, does that mean you will have had a banana fritter with the Fritters? Had to "rail" this thread somehow ...😆)

Not a single fried banana in sight.

But I’m happy to say I didn’t sleep under a tree in the Frittata front yard. I slept in Fritta’s old bedroom and was woken this morning (a little hungover and waaaay too early, for mine) by being jumped on and face-licked by Oscar, the Frittata family pooch. Good times. 

[Redleg 40,034]

17 hours ago, WalkingCivilWar said:

Not a single fried banana in sight.

But I’m happy to say I didn’t sleep under a tree in the Frittata front yard. I slept in Fritta’s old bedroom and was woken this morning (a little hungover and waaaay too early, for mine) by being jumped on and face-licked by Oscar, the Frittata family pooch. Good times. 

Not sure I am happy with DL’s sleeping in player’s beds.

[WalkingCivilWar 39,256]

58 minutes ago, Redleg said:

Not sure I am happy with DL’s sleeping in player’s beds.

But the player wasn’t there. He chose to sleep at his own house.

What’s your stance re DL’s sleeping with a player’s dog?

[Little Goffy 13,970]

I always thought it was called a croquet lawn.

That's what my French friends, Madame and Monsieur Croque, insisted anyway. But they were hardly the athletic type.

[Redleg 40,034]

3 hours ago, WalkingCivilWar said:

 

What’s your stance re DL’s sleeping with a player’s dog?

No problems and even encouraged.

[Redleg 40,034]

3 hours ago, Little Goffy said:

I always thought it was called a croquet lawn.

That's what my French friends, Madame and Monsieur Croque, insisted anyway. But they were hardly the athletic type.

They are really hams and very cheesy.

[Timothy Reddan-A'Blew 4,775]

On 1/20/2023 at 7:52 AM, Redleg said:

We have several lawyers on DL.

Stepping back in for my strictly rationed dose of No T$ No B$, Mr Leg, I first need to ask, has anyone ever suggested the second 'No' might be misleading advertising?

Then, re your post: As if the profession doesn't have enough to deal with, reputation-wise!

And look out everyone; I've got spare time on my hands...

[Timothy Reddan-A'Blew 4,775]

On 1/20/2023 at 7:56 AM, Redleg said:

There are actually a lot more, dare I say it in these crazy times, members of the “female “ persuasion than you think on DL.

Like in real life, they use an assortment of various gender identification avatars and names.

I still grapple with whether Walking Civil War is a male or female or whatever moniker.

Dare I say it, in these 'crazy times' as you call them, Mr Leg: regarding gender identification, this - in the sense of the act of persuading - has taken on a whole new connotation for those wrestling with theirs...

[Timothy Reddan-A'Blew 4,775]

On 1/20/2023 at 1:29 PM, WalkingCivilWar said:

If you look on his/her/their Demonland bio you’ll see that he/she/they identify as female. But one never knows, does one?

Keep 'em guessing, good sir/madam/person 😄

[Timothy Reddan-A'Blew 4,775]

On 1/20/2023 at 2:38 PM, Bitter but optimistic said:

Has to be female. Only a sheila could yap and complain that much.

I call impostor! Uncle doesn't stoop to such commonnesses as 'sheila' and 'yap'!! He's been kidnapped!!!

Presumably the ransom message will come via this thread. Mods, is the Constabulary tapped in?

[Timothy Reddan-A'Blew 4,775]

On 1/21/2023 at 11:22 AM, WalkingCivilWar said:

I know right! And it’s a good thing I’m so tough coz it seems she wasn’t joking after all. She confirmed it this morning. But as you can see I’m not fazed at all…

😁

So the exorcism is scheduled in for under the tree at Missus Fritta's?

[Timothy Reddan-A'Blew 4,775]

On 1/21/2023 at 6:50 PM, Redleg said:

Don't think a dead person can play Uncle Bitter.

Think of all the weight he would have lost anyway...

[Timothy Reddan-A'Blew 4,775]

On 1/22/2023 at 1:56 PM, Redleg said:

Uncle Bitter uses the croquet mallets to keep the staff in line.