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The No T$ No B$ Thread

Redleg
in Melbourne Demons

Featured Replies

14 minutes ago, The Great Pretender said:

What?

Lent.

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    On ‎3‎/‎20‎/‎2017 at 4:24 PM, hemingway said:

    "Dead bastard".  Well it comes to all of us Bitters, and given your proclivities, you will not have to queue.

    I suspect that posterity will remember the name Hemingway, long after the name Bitter but optimistic.

    Unless, you have a literary masterpiece that you are working on between floggings.   Perhaps you could get some tips from my old friend, Elliot Perlman. His latest novel, Seven Types of Ambiguity is a beauty. Perhaps your novel could be in braille and be called the Seven Types of Ambiguous Floggings.

    Further down the invite list than Picket, well that's a relief. But don't worry, I realize that this is all just amusing imaginings as the reality of the Manor is very different, How is life in the new housing estate.

    The Manor Estate ?  

     

    I'm just back from the city of churches (and feeling sanctified) only to suffer another scathing attack from a corpse. A lot of bragging from a bloke who only wrote fishing guides.

    I'll have you know Ernie that I'm working on a magnum opus of profound importance. It will be an expose on the seedy underbelly of Romsey.

    The local paper is already pestering me for publishing rights.

    So there!

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    • Like 3
    32 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

    I'm just back from the city of churches (and feeling sanctified) only to suffer another scathing attack from a corpse. A lot of bragging from a bloke who only wrote fishing guides.

    I'll have you know Ernie that I'm working on a magnum opus of profound importance. It will be an expose on the seedy underbelly of Romsey.

    The local paper is already pestering me for publishing rights.

    So there!

    i like it uncle - "50 shades of romsey"

    ...as the yellow orb begins to disappear in the west and another day ends in the shady hamlet of romsey, the forest creatures scurry away to the safety of their nocturnal hideaways as the natives begin to stir for another cycle of unspeakable and endemic debauchery that has become the hallmark of this damned village.......

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    21 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

    i like it uncle - "50 shades of romsey"

    ...as the yellow orb begins to disappear in the west and another day ends in the shady hamlet of romsey, the forest creatures scurry away to the safety of their nocturnal hideaways as the natives begin to stir for another cycle of unspeakable and endemic debauchery that has become the hallmark of this damned village.......

    Bloody hell dc!! That excerpt was supposed to confidential!!

    Still, to paraphrase the great man, there's no such thing as bad publicity. Hmm.. I wonder what the film rights could be worth?

    I could even get a part! Flogging myself .... perhaps.

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    • Like 1
    38 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

    Bloody hell dc!! That excerpt was supposed to confidential!!

    Still, to paraphrase the great man, there's no such thing as bad publicity. Hmm.. I wonder what the film rights could be worth?

    I could even get a part! Flogging myself .... perhaps.

    might even be a job somewhere there for special robert, eh, uncle?

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    4 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

    I'm just back from the city of churches (and feeling sanctified) only to suffer another scathing attack from a corpse. A lot of bragging from a bloke who only wrote fishing guides.

    I'll have you know Ernie that I'm working on a magnum opus of profound importance. It will be an expose on the seedy underbelly of Romsey.

    The local paper is already pestering me for publishing rights.

    So there!

    High art Uncle, I can't wait to read the proofs. 

    Booker Prize coming up or Nobel Prize for literature?

  • Quote
    3 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

    Bloody hell dc!! That excerpt was supposed to confidential!!

    Still, to paraphrase the great man, there's no such thing as bad publicity. Hmm.. I wonder what the film rights could be worth?

    I could even get a part! Flogging myself .... perhaps.

    who will you be dedicating your grand tome to, uncle?

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    •  
    29 minutes ago, Whispering_Jack said:

    Was anyone watching the carnage in Adelaide? 

    You mean when Uncle Bitter was there last week? I'm sure their hotels will take many years to recover.

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    • Like 1
    On 3/25/2017 at 10:34 AM, Bitter but optimistic said:

    Bloody hell dc!! That excerpt was supposed to confidential!!

    Still, to paraphrase the great man, there's no such thing as bad publicity. Hmm.. I wonder what the film rights could be worth?

    I could even get a part! Flogging myself .... perhaps.

    That's onanism, as you well know, a sin. You have had a very sad upbringing. Perhaps it is a pity you weren't stolen, which is not a German Christmas cake.

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    44 minutes ago, dieter said:

    That's onanism, as you well know, a sin. You have had a very sad upbringing. Perhaps it is a pity you weren't stolen, which is not a German Christmas cake.

    Mea culpa mea culpa mea maxima culpa!  You are correct skinny, I am a sinful fellow.

    As penance, I shall [censored] myself again. 

  • Quote
    19 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

    Mea culpa mea culpa mea maxima culpa!  You are correct skinny, I am a sinful fellow.

    As penance, I shall [censored] myself again. 

    As the imported priest at Rupertswood intoned, 'Everbody knows a masticator!'

    The whole chapel cringed. 

  • Quote
    2 minutes ago, dieter said:

    As the imported priest at Rupertswood intoned, 'Everbody knows a masticator!'

    The whole chapel cringed. 

    please tell me dieter you didn't attend rupertswood

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    He's no altar boy.

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    30 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

    please tell me dieter you didn't attend rupertswood

    Ya, from 1961 till 1967. Vice captain Cricket Team, the greatest living German cricketer at the time, won Bowling Average, All Rounder Trophy, opened the batting as well, We lost one game in five years, including beating Assumption twice in a fortnight. Also played First 18.

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    26 minutes ago, Biffen said:

    He's no altar boy.

    Sure was. Loved the vestments. Ringing de bell. 

    I stopped being a Catholic in 1965. Understood that when you go to hell for eating a meat pie on a Friday one week and it's ok the next week things are crook on Tallarook.

     

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    • Like 1
    1 minute ago, daisycutter said:

    oh dear..........a damaged sherman.........my sincere condolences

    Oi Weh damaged.

  • Quote
    Just now, dieter said:

    Ya, from 1961 till 1967. Vice captain Cricket Team, the greatest living German cricketer at the time, won Bowling Average, All Rounder Trophy, opened the batting as well, We lost one game in five years, including beating Assumption twice in a fortnight. Also played First 18.

    I can't  believe theylet a German onto the sacred birthplace of the ashes during the Cold War.

  • Quote
    21 minutes ago, dieter said:

    Sure was. Loved the vestments. Ringing de bell. 

    I stopped being a Catholic in 1965. Understood that when you go to hell for eating a meat pie on a Friday one week and it's ok the next week things are crook on Tallarook.

     

    Is that some sort of Catholic double entendres?

  • Quote

    9 hours ago, dieter said:

    Ya, from 1961 till 1967. Vice captain Cricket Team, the greatest living German cricketer at the time, won Bowling Average, All Rounder Trophy, opened the batting as well, We lost one game in five years, including beating Assumption twice in a fortnight. Also played First 18.

    Dieter did you ever take a Gerry 'attrick?

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    12 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

    Dieter did you ever take a Gerry 'attrick?

    in dieter's case, earl i think that would be a Jerry 'attrick

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    • Like 1
    2 hours ago, daisycutter said:

    in dieter's case, earl i think that would be a Jerry 'attrick

    We cannot dispute your knowledge in this field .

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    5 hours ago, daisycutter said:

    in dieter's case, earl i think that would be a Jerry 'attrick

    Good pick up DC I haven't watched a WWII film or Dad's Army, Hogan's Heroes for years so I am rusty on the correct WWII nickname spelling for the dreaded Huns!

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    15 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

    Good pick up DC I haven't watched a WWII film or Dad's Army, Hogan's Heroes for years so I am rusty on the correct WWII nickname spelling for the dreaded Huns!

    there are many choices, earl - jerry, hun, boche, fritz, heinie, kraut, teuton........much more than us poor aussies

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