The No T$ No B$ Thread

[Bitter but optimistic 22,250]

9 hours ago, Biffen said:

Condolences DC on the sad passing of Lady Susan Renouf -Sangster.

I'm hoping you will mourn her the way she would have wanted.

With some free champagne and a knee trembler in the guest room.

Do not grieve for too long .

You'll miss out on the canapés .

Let us know how you enjoyed the service. 

Hey Biffen where do reckon dc tells those high society sheilas he lives?

No one trying to impress would admit to Borewood. I'm guessing Mont Albert.

[daisycutter 29,795]

1 hour ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Hey Biffen where do reckon dc tells those high society sheilas he lives?

No one trying to impress would admit to Borewood. I'm guessing Mont Albert.

nah, surrey hills south, or east canterbury, uncle

[Bitter but optimistic 22,250]

You've risen early dc!! No overly strenuous activities last night?

 

Or should that be "twice risen"?

[daisycutter 29,795]

1 hour ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

You've risen early dc!! No overly strenuous activities last night?

 

Or should that be "twice risen"?

uncle, every morning i arise i feel as if i have been resurrected. am hoping for another resurrection this afternoon, [deity] willing.

Edited July 16, 2016 by daisycutter

[Bitter but optimistic 22,250]

1 minute ago, daisycutter said:

uncle, every morning i arise i feel as if i have been resurrected. am hoping for another resurrection this afternoon, allah willing.

You attending dc?

[daisycutter 29,795]

Just now, Bitter but optimistic said:

You attending dc?

despite my seething hatred of darklands,i will be there, uncle. are you meeting up with moonie again, or maybe stuie now you are buddies? 

[Bitter but optimistic 22,250]

Just now, daisycutter said:

despite my seething hatred of darklands,i will be there, uncle. are you meeting up with moonie again, or maybe stuie now you are buddies? 

No, I have given up on Shitiad and will be viewing proceedings from Romsey Manor.

Strange you should mention Moonie, as I have reliable information that he is spending the weekend at a snow resort. Apparently a Greeny slush fund was raided and Monnie and his latte sipping mates are snogging away at the apres ski.

My friendship with Stu has been something of a letdown as the promised tickets to the corporate booth have not been forthcoming.

[beelzebub 23,384]

1 hour ago, daisycutter said:

uncle, every morning i arise i feel as if i have been resurrected. am hoping for another resurrection this afternoon, allah willing.

There was a time that might have been funny

[daisycutter 29,795]

5 minutes ago, beelzebub said:

There was a time that might have been funny

fixed 

[picket fence 17,709]

1 hour ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

No, I have given up on Shitiad and will be viewing proceedings from Romsey Manor.

Strange you should mention Moonie, as I have reliable information that he is spending the weekend at a snow resort. Apparently a Greeny slush fund was raided and Monnie and his latte sipping mates are snogging away at the apres ski.

My friendship with Stu has been something of a letdown as the promised tickets to the corporate booth have not been forthcoming.

I also will pervade over all things from idylic abode of Chez Fence! One of my daughters was half keen but then was reminded that it was a shitihad reneged ! 

Ah Susan Renouf sangster etc etc hnmm liked the company of handsome men, but probably a little of your style and requirements Uncle Bitter!

[Bitter but optimistic 22,250]

16 minutes ago, picket fence said:

I also will pervade over all things from idylic abode of Chez Fence! One of my daughters was half keen but then was reminded that it was a shitihad reneged ! 

Ah Susan Renouf sangster etc etc hnmm liked the company of handsome men, but probably a little of your style and requirements Uncle Bitter!

Well I'm sure you'll enjoy your own company this afternoon and your, no doubt, humble accommodation picket!

However, we of the genteel class have far more refined tastes than you simple peons. Perhaps one day I shall send you photographs of the magnificent Manor.

PS. Would you have attended today if Clarrie Choo Choo got a gig?

[Moonshadow 17,678]

2 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

No, I have given up on Shitiad and will be viewing proceedings from Romsey Manor.

Strange you should mention Moonie, as I have reliable information that he is spending the weekend at a snow resort. Apparently a Greeny slush fund was raided and Monnie and his latte sipping mates are snogging away at the apres ski.

My friendship with Stu has been something of a letdown as the promised tickets to the corporate booth have not been forthcoming.

Indeed you are correct Uncle. I have drawn a line in the snow and refused to go to the Darklands. Mulled wine and koogelhopf for breakfast..... mmmmm!

[Bitter but optimistic 22,250]

30 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

Indeed you are correct Uncle. I have drawn a line in the snow and refused to go to the Darklands. Mulled wine and koogelhopf for breakfast..... mmmmm!

Rather decadent for a planet saver I would have thought!

[beelzebub 23,384]

lets think....snow, sun, wine, fire, a cornucopia of natures wonder......v........ a shlthole of a soil ( sic...but decided to keep it..lol ) -less place ?  If anyone took more than a blink to decide....well , you're welcome to your hell !!

 

Go Dees

Edited July 17, 2016 by beelzebub

[picket fence 17,709]

2 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Well I'm sure you'll enjoy your own company this afternoon and your, no doubt, humble accommodation picket!

However, we of the genteel class have far more refined tastes than you simple peons. Perhaps one day I shall send you photographs of the magnificent Manor.

PS. Would you have attended today if Clarrie Choo Choo got a gig?

Ah No! but have been viewing ( Between Work) snippets of the Dogs Scoprs clash No, Just content to watch via foxtell on the magnificent 55 cm surround sound system of Chez Fence!

[Bitter but optimistic 22,250]

Well what a [censored] disaster the footy was!! Your poor (now poorer) old Uncle Bitter was very confident of a win and, consequently, put a shiteload on the dees.

Thankfully, I watched the disaster unfold from The Manor but at certain moments had temper issues and threw objects!!

Well that caused mayhem - The Lads scattered, the dog [censored] on the floor and my missiles ( cans) damaged the walls.

The squeeze is really [censored] off and it is likely that your uncle will be denied any er...... relationship pleasures for some considerable time.

The only thing that would cheer me now is another's misfortune. Something along the lines of dc getting the pox or picket breaking a leg

 

[Moonshadow 17,678]

1 hour ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Well what a [censored] disaster the footy was!! Your poor (now poorer) old Uncle Bitter was very confident of a win and, consequently, put a shiteload on the dees.

Thankfully, I watched the disaster unfold from The Manor but at certain moments had temper issues and threw objects!!

Well that caused mayhem - The Lads scattered, the dog [censored] on the floor and my missiles ( cans) damaged the walls.

The squeeze is really [censored] off and it is likely that your uncle will be denied any er...... relationship pleasures for some considerable time.

The only thing that would cheer me now is another's misfortune. Something along the lines of dc getting the pox or picket breaking a leg

 

Or our moral compass getting 6 months in the cooler?

[picket fence 17,709]

2 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Well what a [censored] disaster the footy was!! Your poor (now poorer) old Uncle Bitter was very confident of a win and, consequently, put a shiteload on the dees.

Thankfully, I watched the disaster unfold from The Manor but at certain moments had temper issues and threw objects!!

Well that caused mayhem - The Lads scattered, the dog [censored] on the floor and my missiles ( cans) damaged the walls.

The squeeze is really [censored] off and it is likely that your uncle will be denied any er...... relationship pleasures for some considerable time.

The only thing that would cheer me now is another's misfortune. Something along the lines of dc getting the pox or picket breaking a leg

 

Dear Uncle, I likewise had similar experience, but I have invested in a really good, Theraputic and Anti Cathartic device for just such occasion.

I ventuerd to Clarke Rubber and purchased a small piece of high density Foam! What I did was cut out a TV Remote control copy and drew a few dials on it, thus resembling a TV remote. When objectionable footy is played I duly hurl this said remote at the screen! This causes instant relief, a calming of Blood pressure and most importantly saves on buying a new TV every other week the DEES go shizen!! 

Go On try It!!

Edited July 18, 2016 by picket fence

[Earl Hood 6,112]

2 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Well what a [censored] disaster the footy was!! Your poor (now poorer) old Uncle Bitter was very confident of a win and, consequently, put a shiteload on the dees.

Thankfully, I watched the disaster unfold from The Manor but at certain moments had temper issues and threw objects!!

Well that caused mayhem - The Lads scattered, the dog [censored] on the floor and my missiles ( cans) damaged the walls.

The squeeze is really [censored] off and it is likely that your uncle will be denied any er...... relationship pleasures for some considerable time.

The only thing that would cheer me now is another's misfortune. Something along the lines of dc getting the pox or picket breaking a leg

 

Or me running into my Triad money lenders who I knew nothing about until your recent trip to Asia! 

But however I have been agile enough to avoid because I am in the FNQ tropics! 

Edited July 18, 2016 by Earl Hood

[daisycutter 29,795]

i just watched a rerun of the brady bunch to calm me down and fantasised over bananas

[Biffen 12,947]

9 hours ago, daisycutter said:

i just watched a rerun of the brady bunch to calm me down and fantasised over bananas

As Freud might not say.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

but I reckon you would be right into that apron on Alce given half a chance .

[Bitter but optimistic 22,250]

14 hours ago, picket fence said:

Dear Uncle, I likewise had similar experience, but I have invested in a really good, Theraputic and Anti Cathartic device for just such occasion.

I ventuerd to Clarke Rubber and purchased a small piece of high density Foam! What I did was cut out a TV Remote control copy and drew a few dials on it, thus resembling a TV remote. When objectionable footy is played I duly hurl this said remote at the screen! This causes instant relief, a calming of Blood pressure and most importantly saves on buying a new TV every other week the DEES go shizen!! 

Go On try It!!

I imagine you have a number and variety of such ..... er  "devices" picket!

[Bitter but optimistic 22,250]

14 hours ago, Earl Hood said:

Or me running into my Triad money lenders who I knew nothing about until your recent trip to Asia! 

But however I have been agile enough to avoid because I am in the FNQ tropics! 

Let us hope your agility continues Earl.

This little piece of arcane information may assist you in that regard. Hatchet Man - "late 19th century (originally US): figuratively, from an early use denoting a hired Chinese assassin"

BTW Earl if you think any of the Hood female household needs a safe refuge during your difficult times, your ever reliable Uncle Bitter will welcome them into the bosom of Romsey Manor.

[Biffen 12,947]

6 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Let us hope your agility continues Earl.

This little piece of arcane information may assist you in that regard. Hatchet Man - "late 19th century (originally US): figuratively, from an early use denoting a hired Chinese assassin"

BTW Earl if you think any of the Hood female household needs a safe refuge during your difficult times, your ever reliable Uncle Bitter will welcome them into the bosom of Romsey Manor.

I presume you are prepared to shower the bosom before proffering it to poor Conchita and associated Earl skullery maids?

[Bitter but optimistic 22,250]

1 hour ago, Biffen said:

I presume you are prepared to shower the bosom before proffering it to poor Conchita and associated Earl skullery maids?

Well ..no. I'm figuring the hipster bosom would be a tad sweaty from bike riding or jogging the tan, so Earl's sheilas will get really excited over the manly odour  of a randy alpaca who has just stomped a fox to death.