The No T$ No B$ Thread

[Demoneyes 562]

The truth of the matter-

I received a short notice invite from Biffen to join him for lunch. Normally this would arouse suspicion and trepidation but,as the suggested venue was a respectable country pub, not a million miles from Romsey – I accepted.

Gullible me. At the last moment Biffen changed the venue to a miserable little inn, in an even more miserable town that I had never heard of. No mobile coverage! Upon entering the bar I immediately realised that if ever they wanted hillbillies for a remake of “Deliverance” – this was the place.

I immediately regretted bringing the Merc but at least I could still see it through the murky windows. Biffen arrived – chauffer driven no less – by a particularly disreputable looking fellow and escorted me into a dingy area at the back of the pub.

Of course, I was by far the most fashionably dressed. Biffen and his “driver’ looked like common bogtrotters. I even sported my limited edition Mercedes watch which Biffen (the lout) referred to as “bling”!

Biffen was well known and warmly greeted by the “locals”. The waitress had enough tatts to qualify as street art and Biffen immediately began to regale her with tales of his “penthouse” in St.Kilda and how could offer her far greater opportunities for career advancement. The barmaid ( a particularly slatternly type) sported a nose ring that would have controlled the most unruly of bullocks. Welcome to Biffen’s world!

Biffen played “mine host” and ordered me something that looked like warm road kill hidden under greasy chips. Beautifully plated! He also managed to find a cheap and nasty shiraz to wash it down with.

There were some interruptions while “mine host” had to step outside to conclude business transactions.

The actual purpose of the lunch was a crude attempt to drag my good name into a business deal involving an environmental scam and the abuse of 457 visas. Typical Biffen.

Anyway, I survived the experience. As I’m sure Earl Hood would agree it is sometimes necessary to mix with the vulgar elements of society to humbly remind oneself of one’s superiority.

Fantastic! Sounds like a good time was had by all then!

[Demoneyes 562]

Not the Hunters Tryst at Beveridge? And how is the Lancefield Hotel nowadays? Oh the memories.....

[jazza 1,323]

Never good enough for our Bitters.

I go out of my way to organise a clandestine business operational/strategy meeting and then you tell the whole'land about my plans.

Lucky I didn't take you to the rough pub or you may have been physically assaulted for the pink shirt,as you deserved.

Anyway- back to the drawing board.

Ungrateful bugger.you should of left via the back door,and let him pay the bill.

Anyways,what all of us expected from a up country pretend farmer.

Should never have trusted him in the first place biffo.

[DemonFrog 1,354]

Sorry TCO but a lot of Australian crapola in your list. Here are a few more!

Cheers

Two and a half Men (without Kutcher)

Frasier

and.....Lost In Space

I did try for Australian content last night.

But agree I did miss Lost in Space.

[DemonFrog 1,354]

The truth of the matter-

I received a short notice invite from Biffen to join him for lunch. Normally this would arouse suspicion and trepidation but,as the suggested venue was a respectable country pub, not a million miles from Romsey – I accepted.

Gullible me. At the last moment Biffen changed the venue to a miserable little inn, in an even more miserable town that I had never heard of. No mobile coverage! Upon entering the bar I immediately realised that if ever they wanted hillbillies for a remake of “Deliverance” – this was the place.

I immediately regretted bringing the Merc but at least I could still see it through the murky windows. Biffen arrived – chauffer driven no less – by a particularly disreputable looking fellow and escorted me into a dingy area at the back of the pub.

Of course, I was by far the most fashionably dressed. Biffen and his “driver’ looked like common bogtrotters. I even sported my limited edition Mercedes watch which Biffen (the lout) referred to as “bling”!

Biffen was well known and warmly greeted by the “locals”. The waitress had enough tatts to qualify as street art and Biffen immediately began to regale her with tales of his “penthouse” in St.Kilda and how could offer her far greater opportunities for career advancement. The barmaid ( a particularly slatternly type) sported a nose ring that would have controlled the most unruly of bullocks. Welcome to Biffen’s world!

Biffen played “mine host” and ordered me something that looked like warm road kill hidden under greasy chips. Beautifully plated! He also managed to find a cheap and nasty shiraz to wash it down with.

There were some interruptions while “mine host” had to step outside to conclude business transactions.

The actual purpose of the lunch was a crude attempt to drag my good name into a business deal involving an environmental scam and the abuse of 457 visas. Typical Biffen.

Anyway, I survived the experience. As I’m sure Earl Hood would agree it is sometimes necessary to mix with the vulgar elements of society to humbly remind oneself of one’s superiority.

or

Edited November 15, 2014 by The Chosen One

[Bitter but optimistic 22,241]

Not the Hunters Tryst at Beveridge? And how is the Lancefield Hotel nowadays? Oh the memories.....

Those places are quite classy Clit - I'm talking sawdust on the floor!

[Bitter but optimistic 22,241]

BTW you wackers have no idea of comedy or good taste. What about a bloke named Tony Hancock or another - Sid James. English comedy always [censored] on everyone else by a mile. The yanks produced a pizzant Archie Bunker to rival Alf Garnett - total failure. Who can beat Steptoe?

Actually the yanks did come up with one good one "Al Bundy" and his dysfunctional family.

[Bitter but optimistic 22,241]

And another Pommy classic of that era was the "The Rag Trade" (OD may remember this one) where If memory serves me Reg Varney started.

Seinfeld is a crude pie chucker compared to that lot!

[Earl Hood 6,086]

And another Pommy classic of that era was the "The Rag Trade" (OD may remember this one) where If memory serves me Reg Varney started.

Seinfeld is a crude pie chucker compared to that lot!

BBO some say On the Buses was the high point of Brittish TV comedy (not me of course). Who can forget old Blakey and jack the conductor and the assorted clippies with blond hair and big you know whats. Those were the days. But In this debate I do put agent 86 above all others. A genius in a TV sitcom but I have nominated in general topic area of DLand that Jonathan Winters is the stand up genius of all time.

However that is by the by, my real concern is where this so called lunch appointment took place with Biffen! As you know I have estates to the north of Melbourne where I occasionally tour and I make a point of dropping in to see how my serfs er I mean employees are travelling. I don't think I want to unexpectedly stumble into that abode. I mean one has to maintain standards in these trying times.

Edited November 15, 2014 by Earl Hood

[daisycutter 29,616]

BBO some say On the Buses was the high point of Brittish TV comedy (not me of course). Who can forget old Blakey and jack the conductor and the assorted clippies with blond hair and big you know whats. Those were the days. But In this debate I do put agent 86 above all others. A genius in a TV sitcom but I have nominated in general topic area of DLand that Jonathan Winters is the stand up genius of all time.

However that is by the by, my real concern is where this so called lunch appointment took place with Biffen! As you know I have estates to the north of Melbourne where I occasionally tour and I make a point of dropping in to see how my serfs er I mean employees are travelling. I don't think I want to unexpectedly stumble into that abode. I mean one has to maintain standards in these trying times.

the Times has always been trying Earl, you should switch to the Guardian

[old dee 23,792]

And another Pommy classic of that era was the "The Rag Trade" (OD may remember this one) where If memory serves me Reg Varney started.

Seinfeld is a crude pie chucker compared to that lot!

Sadly I do remember it and yes Reg was one of the stars Bbo

[Earl Hood 6,086]

the Times has always been trying Earl, you should switch to the Guardian

F Troop over Get Smart! Get a grip on things DC.

[daisycutter 29,616]

F Troop over Get Smart! Get a grip on things DC.

you should know better earl than to compare miidfielders with key position forwards

you need to be more nuanced

as for on the buses........jeebus......may as well toss in that other dross like are you being served and the whole st trinians and carry on epics

[old dee 23,792]

you should know better earl than to compare miidfielders with key position forwards

you need to be more nuanced

as for on the buses........jeebus......may as well toss in that other dross like are you being served and the whole st trinians and carry on epics

My god you are old dc!

[Earl Hood 6,086]

you should know better earl than to compare miidfielders with key position forwards

you need to be more nuanced

as for on the buses........jeebus......may as well toss in that other dross like are you being served and the whole st trinians and carry on epics

Are you being served, Dads Army, yes the pinnacle of British humour, I don't think. Are you free Mr Humphries and all that and they don't like it up em sir! No the pinnacle of British humour was Not Only But Also with Peter Cook and Dudley Moore but they are all dead and the early tapes have long gone but for some snippets. But sheer genius on the little that is left. Then you have some gems from Monty Python and later on Fawlty Towers

[daisycutter 29,616]

Are you being served, Dads Army, yes the pinnacle of British humour, I don't think. Are you free Mr Humphries and all that and they don't like it up em sir! No the pinnacle of British humour was Not Only But Also with Peter Cook and Dudley Moore but they are all dead and the early tapes have long gone but for some snippets. But sheer genius on the little that is left. Then you have some gems from Monty Python and later on Fawlty Towers

agreed, the less said about lcm working class british humour the better.

trying to pick the best comedy show is as pointless as picking the best song/songster

the good are good but all in different ways

[Biffen 12,943]

agreed, the less said about lcm working class british humour the better.

trying to pick the best comedy show is as pointless as picking the best song/songster

the good are good but all in different ways

Picked you more as a Benny Hill type DC.

[daisycutter 29,616]

Picked you more as a Benny Hill type DC.

never saw much of benny hill, biifo, it was always on at the same time as gomer pyle

but i'll take your word as a recommendation

[beelzebub 23,380]

never saw much of benny hill, biifo, it was always on at the same time as gomer pyle

but i'll take your word as a recommendation

"Golleeeee".....didn't see that coming !!

[Redleg 40,946]

Jimmy Stynes day.

[Redleg 40,946]

never saw much of benny hill, biifo, it was always on at the same time as gomer pyle

but i'll take your word as a recommendation

Shezam.

[Demoneyes 562]

BTW you wackers have no idea of comedy or good taste. What about a bloke named Tony Hancock or another - Sid James. English comedy always [censored] on everyone else by a mile. The yanks produced a pizzant Archie Bunker to rival Alf Garnett - total failure. Who can beat Steptoe?

Actually the yanks did come up with one good one "Al Bundy" and his dysfunctional family.

Yes, Married with Children. Classic! He isn't bad in Modern family either

[Bitter but optimistic 22,241]

BBO some say On the Buses was the high point of Brittish TV comedy (not me of course). Who can forget old Blakey and jack the conductor and the assorted clippies with blond hair and big you know whats. Those were the days. But In this debate I do put agent 86 above all others. A genius in a TV sitcom but I have nominated in general topic area of DLand that Jonathan Winters is the stand up genius of all time.

However that is by the by, my real concern is where this so called lunch appointment took place with Biffen! As you know I have estates to the north of Melbourne where I occasionally tour and I make a point of dropping in to see how my serfs er I mean employees are travelling. I don't think I want to unexpectedly stumble into that abode. I mean one has to maintain standards in these trying times.

I understand perfectly Sir. Possible embarrassments with the maids etc.. I'll pm you the salient facts.

[Demoneyes 562]

Those places are quite classy Clit - I'm talking sawdust on the floor!

I didn't think there were such establishments in your neck of the woods BBO? Must have really gone far afield!

Edited November 16, 2014 by Demoneyes

[Bitter but optimistic 22,241]

Yes, Married with Children. Classic! He isn't bad in Modern family either

Yeah MWC ticked all the comedic boxes for mine?

There is one other show that I would like comments from the wiseheads on - South Park.

I'll give mine.

Pretensions to some sort of notion that the humour was only suitable for intellectuals of the highest order. This meant that people could refer to it over coffee and pretend to be complicit without anyone having the slightest clue as to what they were talking about. Total tripe.