Demonstone

And I think we all know where that thumb's firmly inserted.

I thought his nickname was 'Dirty'.

Keeping his finger on the pulse?

OK, we're all a bit bored here so, further to that Peter Marquis post and veering completely off topic, I've gone the extra mile and come up with a cricket team for your consideration. In batting order, they are Nathan Jones, David Hasselhoff, Sid Vicious, Shane MacGowan, Waylon Smithers, Peter Marquis, Damien Monkhorst, Bill Dunk, Lou Reed, Colin Miller and Scarlett Johansson. Or, if you prefer, Chunky, Hunky, Punky, Drunky, Flunky, Trunky, Monkey, Dunky, Junky, Funky and Spunky. Phew!

50s star Peter Marquis was nicknamed "Trunky". I have no idea why.

Come on mate, it's obvious that you've either just made this up yourself or you've re-posted something from a dodgy source that you believe or wish to be true.

Either that or complete fiction.

At Woolies this morning, I asked the manager if he had any toilet paper. “NO!” he yelled at me, in front of the whole check-out queue. They all kept staring at me. I am telling you, that walk back down Aisle 5 to the loos, with my pants around my ankles, was the most humiliating walk of my life.

With our superior fitness, can't see us losing from here.

Good on ya Nev and well done and best of luck to the debutantes. May you have a win first up. Anyone else find these elbow bumps etc a bit of a futile exercise, considering the number of sweaty, salivating players in packs, tackling opponents and all touching the same footy?

Not allowed to I think, Bobby. Will probably have individual programs to follow but can't train as a group.

I suspect the only flag we'll be seeing this year is a white one. Can't see how footy can continue with all that's happening.

You've been on here for long enough JSK for a pattern to become apparent with your posting style. You'll post something outrageously stupid or stupidly outrageous and then slink away when called out for it, only to pop again much further down the track with something even more risible. There's a word for people like you and most forums ban such posters. Don't bother coming back at me, the only place for those of your ilk is the ignore list and that is where you now reside.

It's a strange phenomenon, dd. When we attend a game in person, we manage fine without idiot commentators yelling and screaming at us and telling us what we can see with our own eyes. Yet people subject themselves to this torture when watching on TV.

Hmmm. somebody needs to tell this clown that the Melbourne Comedy Festival has been cancelled.

I've been doing this for years. Most beneficial for your mental health and your ears.

Isn't being bound part of it?

Glenn Archer might know the answer.

Portland's own Gary Hincks has not missed a single Footscray/Bulldogs game since 1974 and his running tally has passed 1,000 consecutive matches, including every interstate game. All this without a car or driver's licence, mind you. Legend!

Remember how we used to cough loudly to cover up the sound of us breaking wind? Now it's the other way around.

Why were they playing loud music over the PA before the game when there was nobody even there to get deafened by it?

Don't they do that clash jumper thing any more?

Just saw this on Facebook (yes, I know!) and thought it worth sharing: I was just told that a bus load of people of Asian appearance were pulled over between Geelong and Melbourne as the bus had a flat tyre and the Police saw it before the driver was aware. When everyone exited the bus they had bulk loads of basic essentials and on inspection the bus was loaded with such products. After a brief discussion it was found that it was a tour bus that is due to leave Melbourne airport this afternoon and it was always the intention to buy up all the products they could carry on the plane and were then going to leave all their clothing behind in a charity bin. The coach driver says it was planned to happen several weeks ago and wasn’t a strange occurrence for overseas visitors to do so but has just come at the wrong time, as not only do they now need what we all need but they have had to source it from country towns instead of the city as the shops have all run out. Anyhow as the policeman was boarding the bus to inspect it a lady started pulling his leg just like I am doing to you now. See ! It’s easy for you to all start spreading rubbish and the one thing that you have all forgotten is the saying “You can only half believe something you hear, but fully believe something you see. But if you see it, make sure it’s a true story before someone half believes it”.

I can only speak for myself, but that's always been my quota.

I'm probably influenced by all the other major sporting organisations cancelling their games and don't see why AFL would be the exception. I guess I'm also taking a cautious approach to the whole virus scenario. Like you, I would be happy to be proven wrong.