Mazer Rackham

So, reading between the lines ... Collingwood are going to be forcibly relocated to Hobart?

How did you go on the back nine?

If Slobbo tries any funny business, Max will yawn on him. (although Slobbo may well be used to such behaviour.)

"Where are all today's stories? You know you're on a quota, you lazy ******s!" "But boss ... it's a slow news day ... there's nothing happening ..." "So you want all the clicks to go to the Daily Mail and the Nine web site, do you? Do you know how much **** I get from head office if our numbers drop?" "But boss ..." "I want six stories on line by noon from each of you, or you're all out of here at 12:05!" "Yes boss. Of course boss."

Every club is always looking for that edge. No other club has managed to leverage the strategic advantage of a leap year like the mighty MFC. Go Demons!

Well. There I was thinking this thread was going to be about me.

Clint in first for the win. Count the number of Demon supporters in the media. Now do same for Bombers. Thread over! The schadenfreude can come later.

Doesn't this guy know how to play AFL football? The way it's done is, you say you're leaving contract negotiations til the end of the season, then get seen touring GWS or Brisbane facilities. Amateur.

What'd he do? Put his head through the arm hole? This is why we need specialist coaches.

Actually, Darwin is closer than Casey.

I take it from this that Eddie has plans for Gosch's and wants us off it.

We're not the biggest beggars! Par-tay!! Oh. Hm. Suddenly I'm sober again.

I wonder if having "all mod cons" can molly coddle teams a bit. All under cover, out of the cold and wet ... beautiful ... and then they show up on game day to a wet windswept ground ... I have no evidence for this, but "train as you play" comes to mind. We've seen a few sides in recent seasons that seem helpless in the wet.

The rort: "How are we going to lure de Goey from the Pies? They're offering him 5 mil over 6 years. And WCE are offering 6 mil over 7. We can't match that." "We'll offer 12 mil over 8 years. His management won't be able to sign fast enough." "Sure, but we can't afford that!" "No, but we can afford 4 mil over 8 years. We'll back end the 12 mil, and when he's old and useless we'll pay out half a mil and won't have to wear the rest on our salary cap." --- If "player A" is Alex Neal-Bullen, no one is going to upset at us getting an extra 250K back on our cap. People will get upset when "player A" is a star player that clubs will throw ridiculous money at without having to live with the consequences.

Yes, our president doesn't have a radio show where he can s*** all over the AFL management if he doesn't get his way.

And do you know, he never ever did it again for us? Selfish bastard

Please change your user name to something less chauvinistic and offensive. Well, have you asked hre if that is the correct pronoun for zhe? If you had any shred of decency you would have. In physical strength or personality? (Note, whichever answer you give is the wrong one.)

Strange concept you've come up with there. Grass roots? Have you ever been taken to lunch by Tony's Plumbing Services? It's a parma and chips and a couple of schooners of craft beer. And it's always out in the sticks somewhere and you get dust all over your shoes. Some of these places aren't even in the metro region! Now Coca Cola ... there's a company a man can do business with. Have you seen the size of their entertainment allowances? It's almost the size of my bonus for increasing TV ratings. Eye watering stuff.

Please stay away from training in future.

All true, and let's hope when he finally leaves the game, he does so on an appropriate note. It would be a shame to have our last memories of Jones as a sad shadow of himself who played on one season too many. It's something he doesn't deserve, let alone the supporters.

I think Bell had worked out that it might not be a smooth ride with Jesse, and wanted to pull out of the trade. I recall that was announced on a Friday. By Monday, the higher ups at Freo, panicked by the thought of telling their supporter base that they'd let this rolled gold forward slip through their fingers, told Bell what was what and the trade was back on.

I thought it was going to be that he now wishes to be known as Christine Petracca and will play for the AFLW team today.

Are you lying now???

The AFL Air Quality Policy: "In the 2020 season, the air at all AFL matches will be premium quality air courtesy of our corporate partners. Patrons and broadcasters will be expected to refer to the air and related aspects as Optus air, the Coca Cola atmosphere, etc, depending on the branding at each venue. "Patrons of matches will no longer be permitted to breathe this air, unless they purchase an AFL Air Accessibility licence, available from AFL stores & merchandising booths. Otherwise they will have to leave the stadium to breathe."

The whole thing is noise and performative art and means nothing, as will be shown when the ball bounces for round 1.