Mazer Rackham

"He bought beers for the boys and he let my kids win at Mario Karts. He sent flowers to the missus and he put me on to a bloke who's awesome at car detailing. Top bloke, Goody."

No one could. That girl was cray.

Or, ternary, triad, trichotomy, trilogy, trinity, trio, triplet, triumvirate, troika, triplication.

The rumour, gossip, buzz, whisper, report, tattle is that a comet, falling star, fireball, meteorite, meteoroid fell to earth and they burst, detonated, erupted, exploded into flames.

Word-eating lizard

A leading health figure has revealed that she has never personally attended an AFL match

ANTONYMS FOR delicious bad bland disagreeable displeasing distasteful dull horrible nasty offensive poor repulsive tasteless ugly unappetizing unenjoyable unfriendly unhappy unpleasant unsatisfying unsavory Take your pick!

When someone is stealing headlines just as the AFL is trying to bring in 16 minute quarters, and a night grand final, by stealth, they might just give him 3 bonus Brownlow votes as a thank you.

So I can say bugger, bastard .... but not xxxxxed off, i.e. irritated to a significant degree, nor refer to an affectionate term for a cat.

It depends on how [censored] off Eddie might get if nothing happens. "The only thing worse than not being talked about by Eddie, is being talked about by Eddie." (written on a plaque on the wall at AFL house)

No no no! You're supposed to accuse OD of killing your father, and then he says: "No, Moonie. I am your father."

Who needs fans. Simulate them with computers. In fact, simulate entire games. Who needs players? Run the whole thing on computers. You could do the whole season in advance, one weekend in January, then dole out the results over 23 weeks. No injuries to real people, no players association, no players getting on the turps or worse. So profitable! I mean, so ... entertaining.

Except that even before the virus, the AFL had lost control of the direction of the game. When you have no ideas, any idea seems like a good one.

MFCSS dictates that Martin will now kick 50 goals

Are they confusing cause and effect? Teams like RFC and WCE presumably have the ball in their forward 50 more than (say) GCS. Does that mean all you have to do is get the ball into your 50 (by any means) as much as RFC and WCE do, and you will then automatically score as much as them? The stats don't lie! The other way around is, if you have a functioning game plan, and a forward line with an effective system, you will get the ball in your forwards' hands more, and as a consequence the ball will likely be in your forward 50 more than a team with a primitive game plan and dysfunctional forward line. Round 1 showed a team playing to a system very comfortably putting away a team executing high energy chaos. When their system clicked, they put the match to bed in 10 minutes, then put on their jammies and slippers and waited for the clock to run out. When ours clicked, we slogged our guts out for minutes on end for each score. Yet we beat them easily on inside 50s. Must be baffling for our brains trust, when the stats clearly show that high inside 50s correlate with high scores.

It takes 45 hours to get to Casey, even from the next suburb

How lovely for them! They'll get to see parts of the world they've never seen before.

I'm experiencing COVID-19 symptoms. Fever and hallucinations. Cats at the G!

Maybe not as coaches, but these guys have "contacts" if we wanted to augment our "revenue stream".

The Bentley being started by the butler! The concierge at the Australia Club announcing that the pre-dinner bar is closing! The neighbours complaining about the renovations at the Portsea property! The accountant earning his bonus by announcing that there will be no tax payable, after deductions, again!

They have that many sex dolls in South Korea? What a very strange country.

Yes, let's have fake crowd noise. It will add to the experience just as much as when a comedy show has canned laughter. So enhance! Why stop there? Why have a stadium at all? Play everything at Casey or Gosch's and the TV people can superimpose the stands, and the crowds, and the noise. How much easier for the advertisers. The "crowds" can spontaneously hold up placards, en masse, with stirring messages such as "prices are DOWN this week at Coles". Hamish's half time interviews with the kiddies will not be so cringe-inducing when they're scripted with a CGI kidlet (focus group tested for maximum cuteness) who never fails to mention that he's going with his dad for a sausage at Bunnings, where prices are everyday low. The dumbing down of society seems to be accelerating. Do we really need our ears filled to enjoy the spectacle in front of us? Nothing beats the electric atmosphere of a huge crowd on edge -- the players feed on it too, and the event as a whole feeds on itself. But we don't need the artifice when that's not the reality. What happened when the Southern Stand was demolished and games were played at the G? Were huge tarps with a fake stand painted on erected to make it look like there weren't piles of dirt and steel girders everywhere? No, because that's what really happened. In this virus era, no crowds. That's what's really happening. If we're going to fake everything for the audience, we might as well be living in American Idol or The X Factor. (So, that's a no from me.)

Demetriou knew full well what was going on and was not going to investigate any club. That's why he ridiculed Libba senior when he admitted that Carlton were tanking. He was in London for the Olympics when Brock walked into a 3 card monte and fessed up on TV, and Adrian Anderson, who up til then had been sent out for a large round of coffees every time integrity issues were raised in meetings, was shocked to his core and instigated an investigation. Thanks Adrian. If only you had shown such integrity years earlier, things might not have come to pass as they did. The one time the AFL showed an uncompromising commitment to rooting out skulduggery, and the wheel of death came up on "MFC". Thanks Adrian. Ironically that act of purity cost him his job. AFL management is not for the innocent or the fainthearted. Demetriou, on his return, had to gall to fine us for NOT tanking, and not because he was looking after us, but because he knew (don't turn over rocks) that the whole comp was in big big trouble if it was found to be corrupt, ie, tanking occurred.

Dale Lewis. The AFL led the lynching. Don't turn over rocks if you don't want to know what's underneath. Demetriou's personal motto. I believe we did interview Franklin and, along with several other clubs, were put off by his putting his feet on the desk and taking calls from his mates during the interview. Character. Amazing, the character defects that incredible talent will compensate for.

People say Eddie is "good for football". In fact he is all about what's good for Collingwood, regardless of whether it's good for football overall.