Mazer Rackham

Do "no d!ckheads" policies apply to coaching staff?

Yes, I believe that the AFL would love to have fewer clubs in Victoria. One thing stopping them is that they don't want to reduce the number of clubs overall. So that means relocation, or killing clubs and starting new ones ... where exactly? Another thing stopping them is that there would be a hell of an outcry, which isn't Gil's thing. The AFL doesn't do bad news. Only good news. But one day ... I think first cab off the rank, when it comes down to it, will be North going to Tassie by stealth. It's already started.

Why such surprise? Everyone knows they make it up as they go. If you expect consistency from the AFL on anything you will die disappointed. We shouldn't throw stones though ... we got gifted Jackson and Roos on the AFL dime.

"It's been an incredibly detailed, forensic investigation", McLachlan said. "You can't use any old carpet. You need something with a weft and warp that will make things under it not noticeable. It takes time and study. "And if a memory stick gets run over by a car, can a computer still access it? Or do you need to hit it with a hammer? "Is it sufficient to set a phone back to factory settings or should it be thrown in a fire? These things take what they take. They work methodically through it and they don't rush to reach to an outcome."

It's the MRP who need testing. For glasses, probably.

Not the Australian "Nothing to see here, move along" Football League. They'd be nervous of whistleblowers who aren't beholden to the might of the AFL ecosystem.

The girlfriend went rogue. Lachie doesn't know what he took, but he's knows it's not illegal. What a shame for the lad that Slobbo, Blowin' Connolly and various other media stooges don't barrack for GWS.

You have to wonder how commonplace this is in AFL clubs. What's so special about GWS? What's to stop any club doing the same thing? A few nervous football departments this morning I would guess.

In other news, the number of missions has been increased to 50.

AHHHHHHHHHH I'm imagining. Break out the cognac. AHHHHHHHHHHH.

The nearest thing to a backbone they've experienced is the superb oxtail soup at Vue de Monde.

So the AFL have been caught almost literally burying a body. Their excuse: "Good timing! We were just digging up this body ... to take to the coroner ... valuable evidence ... Thank god, the criminals might now be brought to justice." Meanwhile at AFL house, Mark Evans receives the secret code and starts warming up the shredders.

I dunno why they put that bloke on. He's just an @rsehole and his worse crime is, he isn't funny.

How dare he!? That's OUR job! No coincidence that he's laying in the boots on the same weekend the EFC won. It's the duffle coat talking.

Because "the spring specialists" is already taken by Dawes's palms.

shooting match.

Nick Riewoldt though. Crikey.

StK need 2 goals

StK need 13 more ponits

Do these f@cking idiots understand what they're doing???

BL 60.96%

Saints need to get to 139 and hold BL scoreless

Here we are being all politically correct and you have to throw in that!

[Scene: the roof of the members grandstand at Kardinia Park. It is night, and raining. The battered and bloody MFC playing group lie in various poses of distress and fear. Roos, naked except for a pair of bike shorts, approaches them and sits down cross legged.] Roos: Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it? That's what it is to be a Melbourne player. [The Melbourne Football Club sits trembling waiting to be excoriated] Roos: I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Ruck-rovers on fire on the wing at Victoria Park. I watched full-forwards glitter in the darkness at the old Adelaide oval. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain ... Time ... to retire. [Roos flies away on a magic surfboard] Melbourne players: I don't know why he saved our lives. Maybe in those last moments he loved football more than he ever had before. Not just his football, anybody's football, my football. All he'd wanted were the same answers the rest of us want. Where did I come from? Where am I going? Is Grimes in our best 22? All I could do was sit there and watch him retire.

No club has a "best 22" which plays week in and week out. It's always changing. Because you get things like "players out of form" and "injuries". A club that doesn't have players that can come in to the 22 and perform has "no depth" and is at the mercy of a bad run of injuries. Look at North Melbourne. And look at the Bulldogs. We don't say "Trengove won't take the place of Hunt, Wagner, Harmes, Salem, etc, so we don't need him in our squad." Because those guys will not play every game. We say "Trengove is (probably) a player who can come in at the drop of a hat and perform. So he's needed on our list."