NOBBLED BY NORTH NEAR NARRE WARREN by Whispering Jack

So that's it. The first ball of the 2008 has yet to be kicked, handballed or bounced in anger and the Melbourne Football Club is "hapless". The headlines are screaming that the Roos are "too good for hapless Demons" after their 51-point loss to North Melbourne in their final NAB Challenge match – the club's fourth such dismal effort on the trot and in all that time they've produced what? One decent quarter of football where there was some semblance of system in contrast to a reprise of the bilge that was served up to supporters last year.

That nightmare scenario is only part of the prelude to the football season in games that tankfully (sorry, Freudian slip) don't really count for anything but pride, bragging rights and an appreciation of what might transpire in the future but that future sure looks bleak if yesterday's 22.13.145 to 14.10 94 loss to North Melbourne at Casey Fields (located somewhere between Cranbourne abd Narre Warren) is any indication.

Those early games could easily be ignored because, after all, the team that was put on the ground was bereft of most of the club’s so-called "star" players. However, as they've started filtering back into the team, it appears as if the "stars" are making little or difference to the team's performance – they are barely twinkling as the team is being smashed out of the middle; the rucks are ineffective and the midfield is too one-dimensional, one paced and generally beaten to the ball. The forwards seem too static and predictable, the defenders under enormous pressure. Skills and confidence are down; the opposition looks bigger, stronger and faster and attacks the ball with greater desire and ferocity. At least that gives new coach Dean Bailey plenty to work with in the next fortnight as he seeks to right the sinking ship!

What can I say? Nathan Jones was great in the first quarter and the sole reason why the scores were at virtual level pegging at the first break. He was shifted around after that, seen mainly in defence and his effectiveness was more limited. Brock McLean had an ordinary first quarter and got better but made too many errors of judgement (as if his off field conduct is starting to reflect on his play). James McDonald was his usual self but did much on his own and had little back up. Brent Moloney showed up well in patches but he's so predictable with his delivery of the football. Colin Sylvia was fired up, played some good football, laid some great tackles but seemed to be in distress when he came off halfway through the last quarter.

Robbo didn't really get out of first gear until reported (it was a pathetic report by the green maggot that highlighted the fact that if there’s one thing in football more hapless than the Demons then it's the umpiring) while David Neitz was always in reverse. On what I witnessed yesterday, the decision to retain his services as skipper is looking a pretty ordinary one.

Bailey will have to make some more decisions in the not too distant future. I anticipate the first of these will see the removal of at least one, maybe two of the club's more experienced players from the senior team. The club won't progress with players in its ranks who can't think or move at the pace necessary for the game or who are just plain too lazy to do so.

Fortunately, there is hope for the start of the season with the impending return of defenders Jared Rivers, Clint Bartram and Matthew Whelan along with Paul Wheatley and Lynden Dunn. All of these players have been nursed through the summer months and might be a trifle underdone for the start of the new season but the temptation will be there to take some risks and play them from the get go.

It's only by taking risks, and removing those who have been tried tested and failed particularly through the pre season that the club can go forward. Who dares, wins and the coach who doesn't dare will continue to be looking after a hapless bunch for a long, long time.

North Melbourne 6.4.40 11.7.73 18.10.118 22.13.145

Melbourne 6.3.39 8.4.52 9.8.62 14.10.94

Goals

North Melbourne: A Edwards 4 H McIntosh 2 L Thomas 2 C Jones 2 N Thompson 2 M Campbell 2 D Hale 2 D Harris S Grant A Simpson B Ross L Brown B Harvey.

Melbourne: R Robertson 4 I Weetra 2 M Newton 2 S Buckley D Neitz C Sylvia A Davey A Wonaeamirri P Johnson.

Best

North Melbourne: H McIntosh A Edwards A Simpson L Thomas B Harvey A Swallow.

Melbourne: N Jones S Buckley J McDonald A Davey.

Injuries: North Melbourne: Nil. Melbourne: M Bate (hamstring).

Reports: R Robertson (Melbourne) by field umpire D Sully for making forceful front-on contact to A Swallow (North Melbourne) in the fourth quarter.

Umpires: S McBurney H Kennedy D Sully.

Agreed. It's time to recast the side and make some changes to the line up. We are toooo predictable, especially up forward.

Agreed. It's time to recast the side and make some changes to the line up. We are toooo predictable, especially up forward.

Yes . On yesterday's showing , following on from a dismal 2007 , there is no justification for retaining Neitz , White , and Yze !

Neitz deserves the benefit of the doubt. He has only had two hit outs so far and the pathetic use of the ball in the midfield can on occasion make him look out of sorts. He (and the side) will benefit from a more direct game plan.

Correct about White and Yze, neither should be in the side come round one.

Careful now.. think carefully....some might just be about to think of heresy!! ( I shallnt insist you speak it yet ) That some of the so called untouchables ...are indeed very touchable !!

Some of us knew this a year or so back...but we were thrown to the fires for even considering such things. Now its just becomig glaringly obvious.

Guess what!!!! theres probably more to come.....all in amongst a long year !!! I concede my bottom of the top eight seems laughingly optomistic now. But I really did expect a better effor to date.. Not so much the wins.. just cohesive effort.

Are the wheels falling off already ??.................. got to have them on first Id suggest !!! lol

The honeymoon is well over now ...and Bails is probably wondering what Bride Gozilla he's hooked up with as its certainly not the beast his minions promised.

So lets go onto the real season and see what we can muster. I dont expect miracles... but there is one thing I would like to see.. I want to see garbage thrown on the scrap heap just as soon as it starts ponging !! I want to see no backward steps taken, no fools suffered. wee managed to go sideays and backwards for years.. Id settle for one little creeping ( falling even ) step forward.

Now Go Dees...go make a fist of the game agianst the Poos & Wees !!

I think a few kids might get more time off the pine than they were expecting !!

Some of us knew this a year or so back...but we were thrown to the fires for even considering such things. Now its just becomig glaringly obvious.

How true this line is.

The honeymoon is well over now ...and Bails is probably wondering what Bride Gozilla he's hooked up with as its certainly not the beast his minions promised.

There was a honeymoon?

I think Bails knew exactly what he was getting into... to be fair the man inherited the current list (which isn't as bad as many make out, but it does have its problems) and gave everyone on it a new start to press their claims... over the next 6 months he'll see enough to know who to hold onto and who to trade/delist. Some of us (including myself) already have some tickets stamped, but I think Bails will want to see what's what when the real stuff starts.

Im not suggesting it was particularly Bails who was doing the "honeymooning" !! lol

I think there are a couple of players out there kidding themslves. Training is one thing.. playing under the pump is entirely different.

I think he already has an idea of who are already starters on the 'dont come in 09 ' list !!

There's gonna be mid-season retirements abound... In many ways, it could be WORSE than 2007.

There's gonna be mid-season retirements abound... In many ways, it could be WORSE than 2007.

VERY POSSIBLE! We now have 2 likely type rookies who are definately pushing for a realistic tilt at senior AFL footy.

I suspect these 'retirements' may take the form of the less embarassing "long term injury" phenomenon !!

People keep their egos intact.. team moves on.. rookies elevated.

I know a few who were surprised that we took Valenti with our last pick, and apparently there was some pretty strong leaning by Mark Williams in this regard, but it seems rather astute to me. He looks the most likely of all our Rookies to make the transition straight into senior ranks... given the lack of preparation by some of our midfield in some ways it's a pity he's not on the senior list now, because his pre-season form would have him in line for a possible debut. He lacks leg speed, and his kicking lacks some penetration, but he knows how to find the footy and he's tough. From the weekend reports the transition back to Sandy has seen him take a further step past where he was last year.

Nice report Jack. I have to disagree with you about our best players though; I thought that will o' the wisp daylight was our second best.

Unfortunately we missed the boat with trading Yze, and we gave White too-long a contract.

These are all list-management problems, and the people involved are all gone now.

Come the end of the season, I think we'll see just as many retirements/delistings as we saw last year.

People who complain about the list and where it is at have to put the blame squarely on past administrations and football departments, who showed a lack of bravery when it came to trading 'big name' players with ordinary records.

No comment on the pre-season results. Nothing affects me unless it has 4 points/ finals/ premiership cup attached to it.

Come the end of the season, I think we'll see just as many retirements/delistings as we saw last year.

I agree - won't be far off.

There's gonna be mid-season retirements abound... In many ways, it could be WORSE than 2007.

Yze!

I hope you're not referring to White. Yes he's been terrible lately, but I'd hate to think how bad our ruck department will be if he goes.

Yze!

I hope you're not referring to White. Yes he's been terrible lately, but I'd hate to think how bad our ruck department will be if he goes.

Not a lot different !!!! He's not the impact Ruck he once was. The longer we have any reliance on Jeff the longer this position is a problem .

Unfortunately we missed the boat with trading Yze, and we gave White too-long a contract.

Correct on Yze. White's contract is not the problem. It was the ability to trade him and seek a solution to our rucks which apart from him are not AFL standard.

There's gonna be mid-season retirements abound... In many ways, it could be WORSE than 2007.

Those you might be referring too will hang onto their over priced contracts till seasons end. I doubt there will be any windfalls.

I know a few who were surprised that we took Valenti with our last pick, ..He lacks leg speed, and his kicking lacks some penetration, but he knows how to find the footy and he's tough. From the weekend reports the transition back to Sandy has seen him take a further step past where he was last year.

His lack of leg speed adds to a midfield already one paced.

I think Bails knew exactly what he was getting into... to be fair the man inherited the current list (which isn't as bad as many make out, but it does have its problems) and gave everyone on it a new start to press their claims... over the next 6 months he'll see enough to know who to hold onto and who to trade/delist. Some of us (including myself) already have some tickets stamped, but I think Bails will want to see what's what when the real stuff starts.

Completely agree Graz. We should see a similar number to last year go.

The problem with White is he can't play any other position, sorry he can but not to AFL standard, he needs to ruck or he doesn't play. We don't know if PJ/Jamar/Meesen will cut it as ruckman and I'm afraid by the end of this year we will still not know unless they are given more opportunity, more ground time in the ruck.

Unfortunately Valenti should only come on our list if Jones, Mclean, Moloney or McDonald go onto our long term injury list, we have enough inside midfielders we need some speed and class.

Jeff White ...use by 2006 !! enough said !!

The problem with White is he can't play any other position, sorry he can but not to AFL standard, he needs to ruck or he doesn't play. We don't know if PJ/Jamar/Meesen will cut it as ruckman and I'm afraid by the end of this year we will still not know unless they are given more opportunity, more ground time in the ruck.

Unfortunately Valenti should only come on our list if Jones, Mclean, Moloney or McDonald go onto our long term injury list, we have enough inside midfielders we need some speed and class.

Good grief. How much time do people need? Jamar has been on the list 5 years now. He has had plenty of time. PJ has had 5 years at two clubs and is limited in his ruckwork and marking. Meesen had 4 years at Adelaide and has done nothing. I give him a year at MFC. If he is any good he will make the PJ/Jamar discussion redundant.

Our midfield is terrible aside from Jones. McLean has a (big) point to prove after stagnating over the past 12 months. Junior has about 12 months left and Moloney is still to prove himself but does not win enough of his own ball. Be nice if Sylvia stepped up!

Good grief. How much time do people need? Jamar has been on the list 5 years now. He has had plenty of time. PJ has had 5 years at two clubs and is limited in his ruckwork and marking. Meesen had 4 years at Adelaide and has done nothing. I give him a year at MFC. If he is any good he will make the PJ/Jamar discussion redundant.

Our midfield is terrible aside from Jones. McLean has a (big) point to prove after stagnating over the past 12 months. Junior has about 12 months left and Moloney is still to prove himself but does not win enough of his own ball. Be nice if Sylvia stepped up!

I think people are kidding themselves RR. PJ, Meesen and Jamar are not up to AFL standard. I think people are trying to convince ourselves that one of them will work out when its evident that its not going to happen. I watched Meesen play in the Geelong game and he looked like he was walking on an ice-rink wearing slippers.