Brilliant one-liners

[felixdacat 459]

He's not the Messiah! He's just a very naughty boy! (Life of Brian)

Shut Up! Just Shut Up! You had me at Hello (Night at the Roxbury not Jerry Macguire)

"They misunderestimated me." (George W Bush)

"My safe word will be whiskey." (Hot Rod - As he prepares to street luge down a very steep hill)

[Dinosaur Rover 197]

These are my principles and if you dont like them...well, I have others. Groucho Marx

[daisycutter 29,737]

Who in their right mind would build a recreation centre next door to a multi waste disposal unit - anon, Anti-Creationist

[Very Old Demon 8]

I always remember their name but forget their face

[Jack Jack 415]

"Why don't they ever bring back or remake good shows, like 'BJ and the Bear.' Now there's a concept I can't get enough of, a man and his monkey"

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega"

Mallrats

[DemonWA 3,936]

A gun rack... a gun rack. I don't even own *a* gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?

Waynes World

[Macca 17,032]

Don't give up your day job . ( This is often heard at Karaoke bars )

[Wadda We Sing 10,685]

Nine of history's best...

"What do you mean were F@$%ing sinking?!" Capt. EJ Smith, RMS Titanic 1912.

"Where the F@#$ are we?!" Amelia Earhart, 1937.

"What the F@#$ was that?!" Mayor of Hiroshima, 1945.

"Where did all those F@#$ing Indians come from?! General Custer, 1877.

"Any F@#$ing idiot could understand that!" Albert Einstein, 1938.

"How the F@#$ did you work that out?!" Pythagoras, 126 BC.

"You want WHAT on the F@#$ing ceiling?!" Michelangelo, 1566.

"Aw come on, who the F@#$ is going to find out?!" Bill Clinton, 1998.

"By Allah, I didn't think they'd get this F@#$ing mad!" Saddam Hussein, 2003.

[Deestroy All 14,266]

I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'. Demetri Martin

I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.' Demetri Martin

Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, ' I apologize.' Except at a funeral. Demetri Martin

I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. David Cross

I have the distinction of being called a media [censored] by Courtney Love.

Maynard James Keenan

Edited January 5, 2012 by Deestroy All

[Range Rover 1,935]

I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'. Demetri Martin

I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.' Demetri Martin

Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, ' I apologize.' Except at a funeral. Demetri Martin

I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. David Cross

I have the distinction of being called a media [censored] by Courtney Love.

Maynard James Keenan

Hey DA ... have you seen The Human Centipede 2? What was it like? I can't bring myself to do it.

[Deestroy All 14,266]

Hey DA ... have you seen The Human Centipede 2? What was it like? I can't bring myself to do it.

Hey RR,

Yeah I saw it at cinema Nova in Carlton completely uncut, right before they banned it here.

What was it like? Well, ummm, it's hard to say. If you 'got' the first one, then you should definitely check it out.

I have a sick sense of humor and love gore / horror, and I loved it. I'm a big fan of the first one, and thought this may be a let down, but it's as good or better than the First Sequence.

If you're friends with Family Voice or some other lunatic Christian group on Facebook, probably give it a miss, it's not for you.

It's very disturbing, it was weird watching it with a cinema full of people, usually I watch my sicko stuff alone whilst whipping myself.

[Jack Jack 415]

It's very disturbing, it was weird watching it with a cinema full of people, usually I watch my sicko stuff alone whilst whipping myself.

Priceless.

[DemonWA 3,936]

Yeah I saw it at cinema Nova in Carlton completely uncut, right before they banned it here.

What was it like? Well, ummm, it's hard to say. If you 'got' the first one, then you should definitely check it out.

I have a sick sense of humor and love gore / horror, and I loved it. I'm a big fan of the first one, and thought this may be a let down, but it's as good or better than the First Sequence.

I rented the 1st one from the video store. some sick [censored] there. Would be interested to see number 2 purley to see how they could possibly continue on from the end of number 1?

On a similar note, how gold is the South park episode?!

[Sir Why You Little 37,125]

Hey RR,

Yeah I saw it at cinema Nova in Carlton completely uncut, right before they banned it here.

What was it like? Well, ummm, it's hard to say. If you 'got' the first one, then you should definitely check it out.

I have a sick sense of humor and love gore / horror, and I loved it. I'm a big fan of the first one, and thought this may be a let down, but it's as good or better than the First Sequence.

If you're friends with Family Voice or some other lunatic Christian group on Facebook, probably give it a miss, it's not for you.

It's very disturbing, it was weird watching it with a cinema full of people, usually I watch my sicko stuff alone whilst whipping myself.

The first film was a most disturbing afternoon!!! I must search out number 2 for a "quick" look!

[Deestroy All 14,266]

I'd recommend the uncut version, which is obtainable if you get my drift.

The censored version just doesn't cut it, no pun intended.

The Human Cent-i-Pad episode was great.

[Demon Stalwart 255]

Marriage is theTriumph of Imagination over Intelligence

[daisycutter 29,737]

You don't look at the mantle piece when you stoke the fire - anon pragmatist

apologies in advance to all -ists

[Range Rover 1,935]

Hey RR,

Yeah I saw it at cinema Nova in Carlton completely uncut, right before they banned it here.

What was it like? Well, ummm, it's hard to say. If you 'got' the first one, then you should definitely check it out.

I have a sick sense of humor and love gore / horror, and I loved it. I'm a big fan of the first one, and thought this may be a let down, but it's as good or better than the First Sequence.

If you're friends with Family Voice or some other lunatic Christian group on Facebook, probably give it a miss, it's not for you.

It's very disturbing, it was weird watching it with a cinema full of people, usually I watch my sicko stuff alone whilst whipping myself.

Thanks for that DA. Whipping yourself sounds fine but I draw the line at any and all misuse of sandpaper!

Edited January 6, 2012 by Range Rover

[McQueen 17,867]

You don't look at the mantle piece when you stoke the fire - anon pragmatist

apologies in advance to all -ists

What an old classic. You can even do it with your eyes closed.

Haha!

[DemonTux 97]

I represent that comment!

[McQueen 17,867]

- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

- He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

[daisycutter 29,737]

It's too high off the ground to eat grass and its gotta be fed - Reg Fairchild (rip) circa 1970

[McQueen 17,867]

It's too high off the ground to eat grass and its gotta be fed - Reg Fairchild (rip) circa 1970

You've taken me back again DC.

An old boss of mine used to say it as:

"It's too high off the ground to eat grass and too low to eat leaves but it still has to be fed".

[Range Rover 1,935]

It's too high off the ground to eat grass and its gotta be fed - Reg Fairchild (rip) circa 1970

Reg Fairchild ... where do I know that name?

[Dreamin' Demon 10]

You can't handle the truth.