OD I just read the cancellation of the Melbourne FC Boot Camp by the players.

Can I withdraw my prediction of a 2018 Melbourne Premiership?

I now think it will take us at least five years to get rid of all the soft players the Club had accumulated over the years.

My new prediction is that the Melbourne FC will finish 9th or below in 2018. The players are clearly not hungry enough for a Grand Final win.

 

 

10 hours ago, picket fence said:

Hey Uncle is there a Golf course at Romsey and what is it like!?? Maybe you and I could play a round!?? My shout at the 19th I'm sure the Red Hackle and nightlife would be sensatttttchhhh! I'm sure I would be happy with the Guest room accommodation at "The Manor" with full maid service laid on??

Yes well ..... a splendid idea picket and no doubt if it would be of great value to your social climbing aspirations.

However, your poor old Uncle Bitter is persona non grata  at Royal Romsey. There was an unfortunate incident in the rough during a mixed event. Ball tampering was mentioned. 

An unfortunate misunderstanding really.

23 hours ago, Moonshadow said:

We need an English teacher to correct this. Now, where would we find one around here?....

I used to be a secondary English teacher.....

11 hours ago, bjDee said:

So. BBO and his offsider Picket walk into the bar at the 19th.

The barman / berperson says: ...?

(please contribute to the story)

" Good afternoon Uncle Bitter ... I'll get you a shiraz. Oh ... please have your manservant wait outside"

13 hours ago, DemonFrog said:

OD I just read the cancellation of the Melbourne FC Boot Camp by the players.

Can I withdraw my prediction of a 2018 Melbourne Premiership?

I now think it will take us at least five years to get rid of all the soft players the Club had accumulated over the years.

My new prediction is that the Melbourne FC will finish 9th or below in 2018. The players are clearly not hungry enough for a Grand Final win.

 

 

Rubbish. It is because the players found out that bananas were removed from the camp menu.

PS. The Australian budget surplus owes full credit for it to the banana industry which has single handedly rescued the economy.

14 hours ago, DemonFrog said:

OD I just read the cancellation of the Melbourne FC Boot Camp by the players.

Can I withdraw my prediction of a 2018 Melbourne Premiership?

I now think it will take us at least five years to get rid of all the soft players the Club had accumulated over the years.

My new prediction is that the Melbourne FC will finish 9th or below in 2018. The players are clearly not hungry enough for a Grand Final win.

 

 

No you cannot withdraw DF.

This is a giant storm in a very small tea cup will make no difference to our results.

8 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

" Good afternoon Uncle Bitter ... I'll get you a shiraz. Oh ... please have your manservant wait outside"

Uncle, all the Waitresses are wearing thongs,! What sort of an establishment have you taken me to??

4 hours ago, picket fence said:

Uncle, all the Waitresses are wearing thongs,! What sort of an establishment have you taken me to??

The Beach?

15 hours ago, Redleg said:

Rubbish. It is because the players found out that bananas were removed from the camp menu.

PS. The Australian budget surplus owes full credit for it to the banana industry which has single handedly rescued the economy.

No bananas for soft AFL players.

They should only get a weekend at Romsey with Uncle Bitters and his household of blue haired ladies.

Perms, manicures, facials, massagers and other girly hair treatments YES!

Bananas NO!

If only we could bring back real football players like John Duckworth.

Edited December 19, 20178 yr by DemonFrog

ex-premier baillieu  describes plan for apple superstore at fed square as 'bananas' on 3aw

hmm apples and bananas....not a good mix

not satisfied with banana alley at the other end of flinders street?

Apples and bananas dc! Try comparing pumpkins (or, as the more rurally challenged might say punkins) and golf balls! I've spent the best part of today doing just that.

Poor old Bitter is a tad cash strapped at the moment so the notion of changing gas and electricity suppliers held some appeal.

I've spoken to a variety of people with a variety of accents and it seems impossible to get a direct answer about what said services will cost. Good Lord, I even resorted to studying things called websites.

There is no standardisation in how deals are framed. Even my good self who can claim to be at least moderately literate and numerate is left flummoxed. 

If you crave a little self flagellation, don't bother dusting off the whip, just start researching energy costs

FMD

And ... just to top a shitty day off - there is a suggestion that the tax on vino is heading towards the stratosphere

FMD again.

47 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

 

And ... just to top a shitty day off - there is a suggestion that the tax on vino is heading towards the stratosphere

FMD again.

and even worse, uncle your favourite goon bags are going to rise from $10 to $54. now that is real fmd news

the only people who escape are those that drink penfolds grange

this is reverse socialism

2 hours ago, daisycutter said:

and even worse, uncle your favourite goon bags are going to rise from $10 to $54. now that is real fmd news

the only people who escape are those that drink penfolds grange

this is reverse socialism

Goon! 

Goon is forbidden at The Manor dc ( well unless I'm very short of the ready)

Biffen, however, considers it the ultimate accompaniment to a fine meal of baked beans.

41 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Goon! 

Goon is forbidden at The Manor dc ( well unless I'm very short of the ready)

Biffen, however, considers it the ultimate accompaniment to a fine meal of baked beans.

Whereas you, Uncle, would rather a CC and dry with a lime twist over ice with your baked beans?

14 hours ago, Moonshadow said:

Whereas you, Uncle, would rather a CC and dry with a lime twist over ice with your baked beans?

Well Moonie, one has to keep an open mind and be prepared to .... err experiment .. in all aspects of life.

21 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Well Moonie, one has to keep an open mind and be prepared to .... err experiment .. in all aspects of life.

CC and dry is a girly drink?

 

1 hour ago, DemonFrog said:

CC and dry is a girly drink?

 

struggling with your inner feminine side, froggy?

Edited December 21, 20178 yr by daisycutter

2 hours ago, daisycutter said:

struggling with your inner feminine side, froggy?

Mrs Frog loves her CC and Dry, but it can only be in a glass container.

 

 

10 hours ago, DemonFrog said:

CC and dry is a girly drink?

 

Nail. On. Head.

Well done Toady. You're catching on!

Next you'll be understanding double entendres

Is fosters lager still made? Haven't seen one in ages. 

Speaking of which....

I went into a cocktail bar the other day. Asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave me one.....

26 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

Speaking of which....

I went into a cocktail bar the other day. Asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave me one.....

well at least it sounds like it was consensual, moonie.......but did we really need to know?

35 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

Speaking of which....

I went into a cocktail bar the other day. Asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave me one.....

You should have a double whisky Moonie - that is one [censored] joke!

4 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

You should have a double whisky Moonie - that is one [censored] joke!

Bet it's getting retold by Demonlanders as we speak. Comedy gold Uncle! No denying it.

Well fellow illuminati, I'm sure you will all agree there is nothing like some intellectual stimulation while slurping down the Saturday morning chocolate filled maple syrup bathed and bacon wrapped croissants.

May I refer you to today's Age and an article titled - "Men- only day spas the new gentleman's club". The article focusses on a New York clinic that specialises in various medical and beauty treatments for blokes - no sheilas allowed.

"Non invasive penile enlargement" is available for a mere $6000 but there is a catch - it only lasts 2 years.

In what I thought was an interesting juxtaposition, "anal tightening procedures" are also on the menu. There is a "laser treatment" option for this.