Biffen

Brings shame upon the name of Richard Nixon. Added shame I suppose.

This IS my rehab and detox program Hem.

Speaking of Booze , Had two margaritas last night. When drinking cocktails it is wise to remember they should be regarded as like a woman's breasts. Three is too many and one is not enough. I have decided to prolong my stay in the region due to my rising popularity and adoration amongst the people here. I feel they need me at this time so I shall stay till I feel like coming home to the relative blandness of boring old Melba . I have formed a small militia of dedicated soldiers and taken some key geographical outposts. We have established underground and overland supply roots and are currently recruiting a fierce regiment of mercenaries. Mostly made up of massage therapist,soup chefs,drug merchants,pastry chefs,vintners and procurers of valuables as well as couriers,guardsmen ,porters,grooms and loyalist hangers on. I will be dead or wealthy before the season begins . More from up river later, I must address my people. Biffen

Exactamundo- then we could go blow away a few buffalos with an AK47 or even an RPG to let off some steam.

We should get together and gamble on a [censored] fight,drink a few hundred beers,hire a gf or two and enjoy life.

Pity she gains a pound every time she sings her hit, which she never wrote.

Top Ten Things i love about Vietnam. 1.Smoking in crowded restaurants in the presence of children. 2.No safety signs/warnings . 3.Cooking live prawns 4.Doing sweet FA in the cleaning/cooking department ,unless i decide i want to cook. 5.Morning beers 6.No helmets on the scooter unless you feel like it 7.Cash is King 8.Children respecting adults 9.Wonderful over the counter drugs 10.See through pyjamas

Why is everyone so disappointed with Nicole Kidman? She started her career as Queen of the town bikes, Built her international face on a Cruise ship and now seems to be an Urban play thing. Nobody is Lily white...... Ok-I admit i worked on that one. Still makes me more worthy of hosting the Oscars than Billy Crystal. Who has died recently Again,

We are as happy or as unhappy as we decide to be Hem. Great to see you back on deck. Whilst none of us can ever agree on a definition of truth it seems,a few truths are hitting home to the Parliamentarians.Cory really timed his exit/re-entry beautifully but then he never stood for an election to get in. Cutting travel allowances for ex-ministers is probably the greatest thing the battler from Point Piper has done so far. My two least fave porky politicians are Kim Beazley and Alexander the Downer ,yet they know the system well enough to have gotten themselves diplomatic posts. Their daddies must have taught them that one. "Here's how you do it son,we will get you the seat,you appease everyone and don't make waves,just do your time,then when everyone knows you are only doing time you'll have plenty of mates to give you a soft landing in a nice house OS.Pass the gravy train/boat please and get me the dessert menu."

Run out of Havana Club I take it Hem. To what do we owe your belated greetings?

Are you rehabilitated Picko?

An another note, I have a couple of snazzy bogan commodores for sale, recently re-sprayed. No paperwork, going cheap, cash only.

I believe he was attending the Muslim womens fashion show with BBO Earl. They had to leave early because somebody issued a Veiled threat.

Dear All, I'm battling by having struggled off the opium den floor with some reluctance. My guide has gone completely insane,spouting gibberish since the last rattan caning that I personally thought was delivered with my usual restraint. But a trader must trade,so in search of precious goods I go! I have obtained a significant amount of bear bile,powdered rhino horn and birds nests,enough to swap for a Harbourside mansion in Sydney upon return. Other aphrodisiacs I must obtain are proving rather difficult amongst the lustful,wanton tribes of Western Indochine. Next stop is Siam who I believe might be seeking a new king.If there is one place a man does not need the title to feel like one it is there.Please forward your purchase requests through the usual channels before I leave western Indochine.No need to request the obvious as I have forwarded a large package of that to West St Kilda,near the old Gat. I notice a travel ban exists in the states which Should free the airport of the riffraff.Timely and wonderfully done by the Silverback I must say . On the G and T front,I have had to head to the Rex in town to partake of a proper one and I'm thinking Raffles might be the safe bet in Pnomh Penh.There are lots of photos of grown Germans holding children's hands in Pnomh Penh which I thought rather vulgar.No need to advertise an economic staple in the modern world. Anyhoo, best be off for a late Tiffen of rare birds- the edible kind ,down at the club. See you very anon. Cheery pip and cheers . Biff.

In Nam, tiny here but omnipresent.

I often kicked a footy with Fred Cooks daughter.She could roost it 50 M on the left and a good 40 on the right foot.No exaggeration .

The misogyny on this thread is disgusting. I'm burning my mansiere in protest.

Ok Red, i'll set it up and you knock it down..... What's a Piecost?

Greetings from Saigon,or near enough to it, Spent some hellish days in disagreement with some of my business associates but seem to have struck an accord in relation to prices of various products that are now safely En route to the Gat via an elaborate courier system. Ate myself silly in Ha Noi and gained a few kgs that have been shed with the aid of chilli ladened southern food. Have arranged several marriages already but can't seem to find any suitors for my red haired friend which is only natural I suppose.Uncle Bitters has agreed to house them at Romsey and deliver them with their honour in tact but I have my doubts as to his motives. I have had to beef up the rickshaw team as they tend to tire very quickly under the whip,and many have fallen by the wayside. I have taken to wearing a white linen suit and have taught the young girls how to make Pimms properly,which is imperative in this heat. My masseurs have reduced my aches and pains in preparation for my return,if it ever happens. I've noticed DC and Bitters are posting less frequently than usual which has lessened the collective IQ of the thread. I urge you all to eat pork on the BBQ this year as a sign of respect to infidels. Party on.

I loved Borat.I just did the test and got 33 so ,if It's scored like golf you are really [censored] up.

I look people straight in the eye and then make an inappropriate comment. Nasher, I suspect you are on the spectrum. My Demon mate can recall every player ever and has no real friends but me, he is very smart but awkward.He lives at home with mum at 44. I have an overly sensitive type of emotional intelligence and hate lies.I hate big crowds.I fear the herd. I forget names,numbers etc but never a face. I think Economics is a bogus pseudo science. I think we over medicate our population I think the doctors are sending the country broke, along with the fat,lazy and wilfully stupid. I enjoy watching drone strikes . Viva la difference I say. Drs are sending us broke and most of them now are born OS so they couldn't care less.

You forgot,root,shoot,smoke and dance.

I"m currently in Asia so I drop weight in regular instalments.

Maybe like Titus with an acquired brain injury.

About time this thread got interesting. Just ate fried nanas in Ha Long passed off as Vietnamese. I've eaten them in Australian Chinese restaurants since the 70s Ha long bay would be beautiful, probably was ,but too many humans here now. The N/S divide is very much alive. Call it South China. Saigon is a rats nest, but Vietnamese all the same. Still beats Borewood by a by a thousand miles yet nobody here is as sophisticated as Our own DC. I will make a quick comment on the ridiculous banning of Bitters for writing "flied lice" or whatever it was. The most innocuous comment ever in light of the fact that the Chinese may be the most powerful nation in our time. Add to this their entrenched racism. Add to this their population which makes them dominant globally. In comedic terms We discuss"punching down" or up. Bitters was punching up . I'm not sure who banned him and we don't get too OTT on these issues here but I request the Moderator that made that farcical decision to quietly hand in their tin badge. I would add the Clunes riots were probably in order if anyone here has ever shared a hotel lobby with Chinese tourists en masse. Dr John, whom I respect for his intelligence,though often disagree with,is hopefully not the person responsible . The complainant was DLs Resident SJW. I'm a solid contributor here.Love it. So are others whos ideas I dislike. Does not mean they are invalid. My point is that the censorship here is getting OTT. Can I suggest we ban a poster based on more than one complainant , and check the track record of the whining regular Mrs Mangles. I'll invoke Jazza here- who made some crude comments at times but lived a solitary rural life and was a man of his time.I don 't believe he ever meant racial harm but might have caused some minor offence to be taken.He was a minority ,even in his own country. My main point is, stop the naivety ,stop the PC bans unless WELL deserved. I love Demonland and hope it grows with our great club. Race exists,as does religion and politics. Can we be adults here and make valid points without recriminations or is it Commo China? I'll defend Aboriginal Ozzies to the hilt but FFS I need an explanation. Please Explain.