Biffen

After getting Harry O and Mark Neeld from Collingwood what could possibly go wrong.

Xi XI, You are forbidden from using the name TAIWAN. Chinese Taipei is the accepted nomenclature. Please contact me or send Australian made milk formula for further assistance. The problem will be rectified after the revolution.

A disgusting old perve named Bitter Frequented the public sh!tter Till he decided to Sparkle In a mask of Miss Markle For his hero was Gary Glitter

I shudder to think where you might be placing your free Miss Markle Masks. I could nearly compose a limerick about such an event. In fact i will

I'm CEO at White Male Pay Gap Engineering. We're a small but powerful organisation who believe strongly in inequality and unfairness. We're now hiring as it happens.

You're beneath mine.

Men don't belong in the kitchen. Women don't belong in the garage, the back yard , or the lounge room without a vacuum cleaner.

If you remember the 60's -you weren't really there. So say all my brain damaged mates.

In retrospect it is quite clear that Black Caviar developed her sprinting capabilities whilst Whately was "researching" his book. I've always thought of him as a boring big-nosed [censored] of a man, who knows SFA about sport, and that he probably still lives with his mum and knits jumpers.

My grandma always said-"if you can't derive enjoyment from other peoples misfortune then you really are a depressing sonofabitch" It's on the same principles media empires are built .

Petracca will be a better player once he has his dogs shot in a paddock somewhere.

Brian damage might answer your first question. Doubt he will name any names to answer the second. His and their supply chains are inextricably linked somewhere up the line.

I've been banned from using electronic devices ProDee. I won't go into it too much . Let's just say I've been a very naughty boy.

Can we agree to keep it a family secret rather than lock it away in the cellar forever?

that deserves a mild titter.Political comedy never gets any recognition.

Can you explain that one please Moonshadow. Is it a moral tale?

Is that you Kate?

Sorry- wrong sex object.

Who could forget the sexual chemistry between Carmen Lawrence and Gareth-Gareth Evans.Just thinking about it makes me want to go and balance my books.

Anybody want to buy my shares in Getswift? Anybody,Please?

The Holy water would sizzle as he entered Earl.The man is beyond redemption. Getting him into a church would be some kind of miracle in itself.I personally would see meeting the congregation as a business opportunity.The modern way to meet god is with the use of drugs-either too many at one time ,or the right amount at the right time.

I have had the utter misfortune of "running into" BBO who just happened to be in Albury as I was winding up a deceased estate for a friend of mine. After following me around S/E Asia with his gold toothed charm and brothel creeping sandals he now seems to know my whereabouts at all times. He claims to have lost his wallet and cannot even feed himself let alone pay for his night time luxuries that included charging hotel rooms to my credit card and other unauthorised purchases such as visits to room 54 which was home to a young Chinese person of uncertain gender. I am unable to shake this lecherous parasite from my person. Any advice on losing the tail would be greatly appreciated.

As you are the new cultural expert-could you tell us what passes for sport these days?

O.D- You are welcome to invite me to taste the new range. I have been a great connoisseur of the premium variety for many years and am glad to have found a kindred spirit in your good self. Disregard Bitters and his pathetic attempts to ingratiate himself into OUR vineyard. I have a marvellous Palate-one that has gone viral many times-I can say with some confidence. Look forward to tasting a few cases.

An old soldier once told me-"Never look Back"