Biffen

Scientists have discovered that the galaxy contains not just one giant black hole ,but a whole series of black holes ,much like those to be found in Robbos liver and brain. When Robbo saw his career counsellor after failing year 9 English ,she advised him that he would never make it as a forklift driver, which involves remaining sober for part of the day ,so he fell into a career as a Sports writer at The Herald Sun. From there he learnt to mangle the English language into his own creation ,using neither nouns nor verbs, but instead nicknames, as a substitute for context and meaning in sentences.The very mention of a popular or successful players' moniker gives the reader/listener both the subject matter and a hint at Robbos intimate knowledge of the game/player itself. After 5 failed marriages, Robbo has decided to give up searching for love on Filipino Brides.com and dedicate himself solely to AFL coverage and beer.When Robbo is not pursuing his only two passions, he sleeps in the janitors closet so as to be awoken at 9am ,fresh for work, by his trusty friend and ally Rajesh ,who sometimes lets Robbo borrow his Glen 20 as a deodorant substitute and will reluctantly lend him a jacket for TV appearances. Despite failing mental health and declining personal hygiene Robbo has built a fan base of 16 dedicated bar flies who have steadfastly attempted to listen to his rambling oratory and miscellaneous observations on beer nuts,bosoms and what great bloke James Hird is.Closing time is cited as Robbos deepest regret in life,one that constantly comes back to haunt him as he regales his followers with story after story after story after story.....Usually the same one repeated. Robbo has enjoyed all the fruits of a life in the media and has invested wisely over the years to prepare for his inevitable forced early retirement.He is rumoured to have shares in a Nigerian Oil syndicate backed by a large conglomeration of African Royalty ,which are expected to pay off handsomely after maturation.He is also alleged to have invested in Chemical production facilities that stretch along the Eastern seaboard from Lara to the Gold Coast with his "mate" Bomber. With his business acumen and his bloodhound -like ability to both smell a good story and smell like a bloodhound ,Robbo has excelled at making numerous friends across the country ,friends who are so busy and successful they never have time to answer their phones nor reply to his misspelt messages but that is the rarified oxygen he steals. He is truly a one-off.And an off-one at that.

Jerry or Josef.

I urge you to seek clinical help.

Anybody want to buy my shares in Getswift? Anybody,Please?

The Holy water would sizzle as he entered Earl.The man is beyond redemption. Getting him into a church would be some kind of miracle in itself.I personally would see meeting the congregation as a business opportunity.The modern way to meet god is with the use of drugs-either too many at one time ,or the right amount at the right time.

I have had the utter misfortune of "running into" BBO who just happened to be in Albury as I was winding up a deceased estate for a friend of mine. After following me around S/E Asia with his gold toothed charm and brothel creeping sandals he now seems to know my whereabouts at all times. He claims to have lost his wallet and cannot even feed himself let alone pay for his night time luxuries that included charging hotel rooms to my credit card and other unauthorised purchases such as visits to room 54 which was home to a young Chinese person of uncertain gender. I am unable to shake this lecherous parasite from my person. Any advice on losing the tail would be greatly appreciated.

As you are the new cultural expert-could you tell us what passes for sport these days?

O.D- You are welcome to invite me to taste the new range. I have been a great connoisseur of the premium variety for many years and am glad to have found a kindred spirit in your good self. Disregard Bitters and his pathetic attempts to ingratiate himself into OUR vineyard. I have a marvellous Palate-one that has gone viral many times-I can say with some confidence. Look forward to tasting a few cases.

I'm confident we can slay some [censored]. No doubt we can score heavily.

An old soldier once told me-"Never look Back"

I'm amazed you made it through quarantine and even more surprised i made it through customs. I travelled in "premium Economy' making acquaintance with a silly Polish man who agreed to carry some items through customs for me. Needless to say, I am potentially rich as ever and am also in possession of some 3000 year old trinkets to boot. A good year beckons for the yours truly despite the uprooting I have suffered in Fitzroy St. I look forward to looking down on you in the coming year, authoritarian interference notwithstanding, as ever.

There has been some disturbing developments in the "Women told to score mOre" thread. Expertise offered on what is and what isn't sexist behaviour/commentary. Its not as if i need help in this field. it has been my lifes' work. Next we will be getting pointers on smut,innuendo and filth. like throwing donuts at the resident labrador that lives in the French restaurant-enough is never enough. The New Church Ladies have beards.

I think they should just play loose, regardless of the size of the field that presents itself. Big scores are always on offer if you play it that way.

And bring back the cigarette girls too. Lets do it properly.

We don't need to copy the NFL except for perhaps having scantily clad cheerleaders.Which would give young girls proper role models.

I said exactly the same thing about The Golden Girls.

I though "The Gysberts Gymansium" would be a winner so what would I know.

Like Klinger when he tried to eat a Jeep to get a section 8.

Talent isn't everything-just ask Rhonda Burchmore.

In that town there is only a bunch of morally corrupt overpaid guys chasing whores and wasting money and in the others they just grow fruit or go surfing.

Seems to have thrown in the towel.

Downward.

I'm sensing some toxic masculinity here Picket. I think you need examine your privilege and apologise.

Just white Moon. Or as was the case when my dad did the laundry-light grey.

They deliberately block space that players could be leading into.They cheat.Get 'em orf!!