Bitter but optimistic

Well, in fairness, how was I to know it was the girl's first experience of a chronic fungal infection?

The girl who attempted to give me a foot massage and pedicure used a similar description before taking Ill

BTW Don't think less of me because of the old lady. There is a campaign against begging ATM , so I was actually undertaking a civic duty

Say a tidak tahu kata ini.Air Asia did the business and I am safely in Yogyakarta and being venerated by the locals. Enjoyed soto ayam for lunch today and washed it down with several bintang. Just wandered around Jogya''s red light district. It is pretty tame but the beer was icy cold. I knocked a blind old beggar lady over but otherwise no real entertainment

Thank you all for the wonderfully unfunny posts. I've just enjoyed Nasi maguluring for makan pagi - maybe my last as I'm waiting on an air Asia flight to Jogjakarta . Stayed at an $18 per night losmen last night. It had a pool - roughly the size of my dining table

Just thought I'd let all you effers know that Demonland will be diminished for the next week or so as I am travelling to Indonesia. However, you may be assured, that Uncle Bitter will be a fine ambassador.

You're spending too much time in with bluerinsers dc. It's addling your brain.

Profound and important matters Jizza. However, I don't know the answer, as Capybara are quite close to the ground and I've never succeeded in getting the milking cups on them.

Well now Moonie, don't try to avoid reasonable criticism of your ineptness by attacking the reasonable critic. Next , Google any secondary college and look at their subject selections or choices. I doubt you'll find many mathematics.

Well have a few for Auld Lang Syne OD.

Have you had a few single malts tonight OD?

I hope your employment doesn't hang on Maths Moon! You might note that Jizza posted at 7.12 and I replied at 7.51!

FMD!! How's this for a shite start to the NY? I'm sitting here slurping a very good shiraz, and thinking up vitriol, when the Lads alert me to a blowfly ( the size of a dog) entering the premises. So I unleash enough flyspray to blow the effer into the ozone layer .... and what happens? The [censored] dive bombs straight into my shiraz!! FMD.

Your post in triplicate threw me off OD

Of course no one will volunteer to help you Jizza. Who would listen to a rich cocky saying how poor he is? Free food, beer and a decent shiraz might catch a few. Free illegal substances would get Biffen. If you line up a couple of bluerinsers, dc might check them out. And ..... if want Moonie promise to tell him he's your friend (or something like that). He's a sad and pathetic fellow. You could get Earl Hood (he's familiar with shite) but you must call him Sir. OD might front but I'm not certain he'd handle all those udders. Tell Redleg he can watch redtube without interruption. An WJ would probably race down if you promised to leave Demonland. Now there's the secret - promise to pizz off and they'd come from everywhere.

Well I don't care about New Year. I'll spend it on my own. I'll drink wine and watch TV. Nobody invited me anywhere. Why? I'm witty and good company. [censored] you all!!

Well picked up Ak. I do not suffer from dementia but on occasion, I have alcohol induced memory issues. Not satire, but subtle humour ( for the cognoscente such as yourself) based on the fact that as India is a British Colony, (long live the Raj) a reference to The Ashes would be considered inclusive.

Just awoke after a big big day at the cricket. Ashes cricket is always exciting. Thankfully the weather gods ignored that selfish cow cocky Jizza and it didn't rain.

Typical bloody cocky! Always thinking about yourself! What about important matters - such as the impact of rain on the Boxing Day Test?

Which, in particular, of the Marquis' works do you call "the good book" HL? I find them all both a comfort and inspiration.

Then again it may be just my usual sadness and despair that this time of year brings to me. I am sure dc is currently enjoying the company of a bluerinser and will have his choice of them tomorrow . For myself , even my family has abandoned me and I am destined to spend Christmas with the lads. They mean well but I cannot take them anywhere. Even friendless Biffen has his slags for comfort. But what of me? It is a cruel world.

I feel the world has passed my by my Lord Hood. Even esoteric shite from Borewood confounds me.

That is weird sh ite dc!! You doing drugs instead of bluerinsers?

Yeah but you attach your girls to mechanical contrivances every day - Biffen only does that on special occasions (or for select customers)

Bah small talk! Anyone who studied Latin under the (none too) gentle tutelage of the Christian Brothers will know about "Eatin Pork Today". Explain that and you will establish your credentials.