Little Goffy

I can see this being fundamentally amicable, even if a little sad for a while.

Would you say they are 'all duck or no dinner'? Seems all us lefty republicans are okay with using the pronouns by which the day identifies itself. Besides, 'The second moonday in the month of the goddess Juno' is a bit of a mouthful. I mean, I'm not a Norse-Germanic pagan, but I can also cope with Tyrsday, Odinsday, Thorsday and Freyrsday. Although the confusion about Saturnsday always gets me with that ol' pantheon switcheroo. But, we digress. I seem to remember that once upon a time our whole purpose as a club was 'to maintain a condition of excellence that allowed us to compete for the premiership every year.' Sounds like the kind of thing people would snort at Goodwin for 'saying nothing again', but it is genuinely what we're operating on. Makes for a quietly tense year as we all wonder - who will find their momentum in September this year?

Bizarre tip - I'm watching AFL 360 at 1.5 speed. Robbo sounds normal and the other guys only slightly faster than regular speech. Just incredible to realise that Robbo speaks at literally 60-70% of a normal speaking pace.

5 is ridiculous for goal assists. The year Melksham won the league total he only averaged 1.5 per game. Except for one obscene outlier, the all-time (since the stat began) records for goal assists in a game include a few sevens and not many more sixes. Maybe some day Petracca could be the one to cleanse that outlier.

Which was the fashion in those days.

I stand by my observation on Oliver's changing game - another 5 intercept possessions including a couple of quite important ones from positioning himself in smart places. Also continues to build up his marks-per-game. All without sacrificing his core inside mid role - yet to have fewer than 5 clearances in a game. I maintain my belief that he may be on the cusp of being the all-time greatest midfielder. Anyone else think he looks a little taller lately, or is it just shorter shorts? Also, Trent Rivers... bubble bubble bubble something really good is brewing there. In fact, we have an extraordinary group of medium defenders at the moment and I think the increasing commitment of the midfield to supporting defence is in turn giving us more opportunities to use those half-backs as offensive weapons.

I'm a little disappointed that Frost (150 games) didn't get to join May for the coin toss. Of course, the risk is that if you gave him the coin he might try to bounce it twice and then land it on the side.

On the bright side, when was the last time both Sydney and Geelong were embarrassed by teams in the lower end of the ladder?

Well, it would be unseemly to have 20 pages of everyone just chanting 'Kill. Kill. Kill.'

I was going to post some interesting points, about our defenders and how they will get to play their preferred game, about the sheer weight of class, power and stamina in our midfield, that Sicily will be forced to play tight on Fritsch and that won't work anyway (like making Lever play close on Hawkins), about the probability of Van Rooyen dominating Frost and of our pressure game causing a whole bunch of their young players to be second-guessing and rushing directly into our turnover traps... But, in summary, I'll be watching this game expecting to see an impact crater when the dust settles at the Hawthorn footballish club. I'm going in hungry.

I was struggling for a moment to figure out what this reminded me of, and then I recalled that once upon a time an insane youtuber played The Sims and locked every pet in the neighbourhood into a single room. the game was unable to process the accumulating vomit in an enclosed space and eventually glitched out to distribute the puke piles in expanding spiral-patterns from the source room, covering blocks in every direction. Waverly Park.

Urgh, you think you know someone and then they reveal a betrayal of decency like this. Thin ice, WCW, thin ice.

I think the best thing about monitoring Fremantle's ladder position is the contrast it provides with the feeling that our own destiny is in our own hands. Thinking about the Demons, I think only of our game and maybe take a glance at how the top-4 is progressing. Thinking about Fremantle requires tipping half the round! Gold Coast over West Coast (Death ride +1) Richmond to upset Geelong (Death ride +2) Sydney to splatter Fremantle (Death ride +3) Port over North (dreams have limits) Melbourne over Hawthorn (by >20 goals) Brisbane over Essendon (meh) Carlton over the Bulldogs (but really, coin toss here) Adelaide over St Kilda (high drama!) Collingwood over West Sydney (Death ride -1)

If they finish their degustation before the hearing finishes, it is a tax-deductible work expense.

well actuallllleeeee.... cognitive dissonance is the state of mind where someone is unable to reconcile a strongly held belief with clearly apparent facts. It can send people entirely mad if not resolved, and generally the only resolutions are to either abandon the belief or reject the facts. Once you make a choice to reject facts that you rationally accept, you're absolutely stonkered psychologically and it continues to spiral horribly. Almost impossible for an individual to dig their way out again without professional 'deprogramming' help or massive traumatic catharsis. For example, if you're an AFL executive believing that the tribunal system, umpiring, and the laws of the game are well administered, right now you are in a situation where you have to convince yourself that the entire Australian Football community doesn't understand the spirit of the game. Cue megalomonia, paranoia, the works.

Melbourne Demons Average Per Game Hawthorn Hawks 215.2 Kicks 211.5 160.0 Handballs 158.0 375.2 Disposals 369.5 88.5 Marks 94.9 16.4 Goals 8.5 9.1 Behinds 10.4 25.5 Scoring Shots 18.9 59.0 Tackles 59.0 39.0 Hitouts 40.6 20.9 Frees For 16.2 18.8 Frees Against 19.4 11.0 Goal Assists 6.8 58.1 Inside 50s 46.9 139.1 Contested Possessions 130.6 231.8 Uncontested Possessions 234.0 281.9 Effective Disposals 268.0 75.1% Disposal Efficiency % 72.5% 57.4 Clangers 61.1 9.0 Contested Marks 8.4 13.1 Marks Inside 50 10.2 35.9 Clearances 36.1 13.8 Centre Clearances 12.4 22.1 Stoppage Clearances 23.8 39.2 Rebound 50s 40.6 43.8 One Percenters 39.2 2.9 Bounces 6.2 1.35 Kick to Handball Ratio 1.34 64.3% Conversion 45.0% 22.88 Disposals Per Goal 43.47 14.71 Disposals Per Scoring Shot 19.55 6316.4 Metres Gained 5586.8 71.9 Turnovers 69.0 75.8 Intercepts 63.9 13.0 Tackles Inside 50 11.5 I've highlighted anything that looks like a substantial difference in this comparison, but what I found most interesting is just how many areas are very similar. Looks like when it comes to the crunch, the entire difference between best and worst in the league right now is; Intercepts --> Metres Gained --> Inside 50s --> Goal assists --> Goal accuracy.

There's brown bananas, and there's brown bananas, but then there's the ones that have rotted on the inside first.

In an experimentally controlled zero-gravity vacuum, bananas are straight. On their home planet, Bananas form perfect toroids and maintain neutral buoyancy in the atmosphere. As per this report from the International Atomic Energy Agency; https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1088/0029-5515/24/1/008 The toroidal banana drift regime of neoclassical diffusion in helical solenoids Abstract The processes of transport in helical solenoids are considered within the framework of neoclassical diffusion theory. The banana kinetic equation is used to determine the diffusion fluxes of particles and heat in the toroidal banana drift regime (super banana diffusion) for the case of effective collision frequencies lower than the banana precession frequency.

I'm generally not impressed by Damien Barret (my nickname for him is 'The Nosy Vicar') but one thing he has definitely always been consistent on is the importance of protecting the head. He was one of the earliestto talk about it seriously and has been actively pushing for better protection of the head for a decade now. My point being; if the most persistent campaigner on the matter in the entire AFL media is staying pretty quiet about this case, you know there's an issue. I think Barrett understands that this is all being done to coddle a handful of helicopter parents on the Gold Coast who the AFL desperately need to engage if they are going to save their dying franchise. It is 100% 'optics' and very little about actual protection of players. Having the protection mandate misused in this way undermines the genuine effort.

Wait, do you mean Cripps or Bontempelli? Or Kolodjashnij! I'm slightly disappointed that it looks like Curtin is pushing ahead of even the most optimistic pick for us. Oh well, I guess we'll have to settle for one of the small army of Stevie Johnson clones running around.

I would guess that Flakes are being strategically replaced by Twirls in gift/party boxes due to risk analysis of embarrassing chocolatey fragments on proverbial Sunday bests. Flake, alas, is being condemned to the 'at home, naked, with the curtains drawn and lights off' category of indulgence. Also, Crunchie beats Violet Crumble for the sole reason that it is more likely to be on special in the checkout-side displays.

I had a look back in time to see the last game where Fritsch had such a poor output. Round 21, 2021. Coincidentally, also a game where we were pushed to the line by a team that should have been much weaker, defeating West Coat by 72 to 63. Of course, he then kicked 7 the next week on his way to 20 over the next five weeks, including a handy bag of six which some may recall.

Petty's most distinct trait is his persistence after an initial contest. He's got great initiative and is back in most almost immediately. I'm not pretending he's a sprinter or twinkle-toes nimble, but in that chaos that forms close to goal he has a level of alertness that really helps close up the little spaces that crumbers use for their snaps. Plus, his disciplined defending provides a little incremental release for May and Lever to play their natural games and use their elite judgement to zone effectively and give support to other contests. Also, if we're talking about Fritsch, well, first, why? And, second, what? And third, huh?

Oh, please let it happen. The ultimate, ultimate trolling of Fremantle and the perfect fit for us.