Little Goffy

So, basically, Clarkson has retired. Or is it 'quiet quitting'? I guess their theory has to be that they have a bundle of very talented players who might win their individual contests so decisively it outweighs the incremental losses from the weaker parts of the list. Or... they have realised that they have managed to recruit a whole lot of players who are very good at football but dumb as bricks when it comes to game structure.

Three seasons ago at Peak Clarry, Tom Green had an uncannily similar profile including some odd stats for inside mids such as a high intercept possession count. Green was basically Clarry minus 10% across the board. There was no other player in this odd 'group'. Now Oliver surely will be expected to play Green's role, perhaps with lower expectations. It could work really well, the Giant's are likely thrilled to have him right at this moment.

Interesting that of our 14 it is only Baker, Spargo and Howe who stayed in Victoria. I guess the high number reflects the post premiership list spot and salary cap squeeze, and the fact we are right now pulling the trigger on major list 'renovation'. Also, with West Coast and North apparently being the benchmark for player retention, I'm comfortable enough with not being that.

Now people have got me wondering, did Harmes have relatively modest skills, or did he have good skills that were tested by the fact he was constantly [censored] from working so hard both ways? All we know for sure is that he always worked hard and that in some absolutely crucial moments his skills were right on the spot. Will always be a little bit special.

I mean, once we've been serenaded by the final 8 contestants of Australian Idol each taking a turn to sing two lines of a song, each in their 'unique' 'style', on a stage covered in plastic tablecloth, filmed by two guys running back and forward with handicams, I feel that maybe we've become accustomed to too high a standard of entertainment and need to rein in it a bit. Maybe a live show of youtuber 'I did a thing' accidentally stabbing himself with a crankshaft while assembling a DIY delivery drone loaded with actual drugs which then get t-shirt-cannoned into the crowd along with loose pieces of metal? I've got it! A multicultural half time mukbang. Six contestants from different backgrounds each have to eat an entire traditional main meal from each of the six cultures! Disclaimer; I don't think I've ever stayed in the room for a half time show. Sausages don't turn themselves, y'know.

All we 'need' for 2026 is to be respectable enough to have the multiple valuable free agents give us consideration as a team already coming back up, rather than on the way further down. We're likely to have one very brief but very real opportunity to cash in on having a cluster of young stars coming through before our current veteran crop retires. Just like the gypsy woman said 2028 premiership. I would liken it to the unexpectedly early premiership win by Hawthorn in 2008. They absolutely had planned a longer rebuild but a couple of young guns developed incredibly well incredibly quickly, and they snagged a surprise trophy while the likes of Crawford were still giving the team some steadying. Consider that in 2006, aside from Franklin with 31 goals from 14 games, their other top-5 scorers were Mark Williams (the undersized marking forward, not the beloved though definitely insane coach), Ben Dixon, Trent Croad and Shane Crawford. Also worth noting that there were a lot of players in that team who were not stars, just effective, good quality role players who committed the to the system, which allowed the individually gifted players to have their best chances to break games apart. Picture Tom Sparrow grinding out a handball from a pack and then making the second effort laying a block so Harvey Langford can break free and roost it from 50 out. If we see that kind of thing a lot in 2026, then it is a successful year, and a wild tilt at '28 is something even reasonable people might believe in. Anyway, here's a curious reference point - how would people feel if our 2026 report card resembled Hawthorn's 2006? afl.com.au2006 Report Card: HawthornAre the building blocks in place for the re-birth of the mighty Hawks? <b>Matt Burgan</b> writes that they might well be, in his assessment of Hawthorn's 2006 s

PF is on a working holiday, currently piloting boats in Sydney harbour ready to grab and bag Clarrie and bring the poor kid home. Quite possibly bludgeoned unconscious by superstitious onlookers.

I did not enjoy that post. On the bright side, we're authentic. The least sellout club available. And kids these days love a bit of boutique style. Plus, Caulfield will have completed works and we'll be moved in soon... possibly before anyone gets around to announcung it.

But I'm sure they will be...

So my sudoko notion wasn't far that off, really.

Is it significant that Christian Salem and Jacob Van Rooyen both made their debut for the Anzac Eve game against Sydney? No? Didn't think so.

Imagine going to West Coast and being a blonde tall forward and the only person on the list with big shoes to fill? Although, to be fair, if he can keep himself injured for a few season he will fill the emotional need that Allen provided, 'We just need a few injured stars back in crucial positions and things will turn'. Also, if Van Rooyen is only ever an average forward, cheers to that. We won a premiership with a decidedly average tall forward set and let's face the star key forwards consume vast amounts of salary cap space anyway. I've decided this is my 'toxic positivity' thread.

We will get to death ride Fremantle again in 2027? Always a silver lining, but really I think by the end of the year Van Rooyen will understand he can be a valued part of our 2028 premiership team.

One of these days I'm going to make a team where the player numbers in position work out as a correct sudoku, and get everyone else on Demonland to pretend they got the answer and just @Demonstone can't get it.

To be fair on Latrelle, Kysiash did kick 40 goals as a small forward in a premiership season at that age, so you can be a long way further back and still be in front of most mere mortals! 😀 Didn't realise just how much taller L is than K, a full 11cm. Then again, I never quite think of Kysaiah as being quite so small. It is very nice to be getting reports of Latrelle showing enough that we can all agree the recruiters did actually see something in him rather than going for romance. As for why he was passed over for a couple of drafts... sometimes a body doesn't quite click or an attitude doesn't quite firm up for a couple of extra years. Mihocek and Fritsch were even later to the party, coincidentally in the same draft year in the end. Jai Culley had to wait for a mid-season draft and only recently began looking like a genuine AFL player. Daniel Turner also a mid-season pick who took a couple of years and now looks very handy. A glance at our 12 players age 20-23, from Latrelle Pickett to Bailey Laurie, only four have proven they are AFL level so far - Bowey, Turner, Van Rooyen and Windsor. It is unnerving and exciting to think that the progress or not of those other 8 is going to be the defining character of our season. Just three or four solid roleplayers from that group has us back to being a fully competitive best 25 again.

I'd like to give a special condemnation here to Demonstone's 'high ceiling' joke.

Well, credit to Cornes for a somewhat original topic which has an overall positive tone and can stimulate an earnest discussion instead of looking to bleepstir. Nice of the pundits to nominate our boy Bailey Humphrey, as a bonus Demon from our 2028 premiership team. I don't think Kysaiah Pickett will ever quite accumulate the ridiculous numbers of Gary Ablett Jr, but his impact on games could be comparable. It is fun to think that the obvious other contender over the coming seasons is such a radically different player in Langford. Other than that, the optimistic side of me can see a number of our younger players becoming excellent, but maybe not the 'marquee' mega players. I am always hoping for a team that goes deep on excellence, the likes of Kade Simpson, Shaun Burgoyne, David Mundy, Jarrad McVeigh, playing out sterling 15 to 20 year careers and seeing the club through ups and downs. Which puts me in mind of our very own Tom McDonald. 'Best young player' in 2012, and since then has rarely, and perhaps only from injury, been out of our B&F top 10, with a few podium finishes thrown in. Much of it while filling list holes so vast they were given geological notations. Just making a mental note to get properly cranky at anyone who decides to hang [censored] on him as he approaches retirement.

The list and strategy matched, the fitness program works, and everyone had that quiet awareness that this was the case and they had a really good opportunity. We had a core of absolute gun players who in that moment saw themselves as role models for responsible team play, rather than the focal point to be supported by the 'lesser' players. Burgess fitness program. Covid isolation providing insulation from the fugazi.

I hear your boy Jefferson had a great day and particularly a ripper first half... Obviously you already know this, I just want to share in your 'determined to remain composed' non-grin! 😁

These are the things which historians dig through half a century later and realise 'oh, at that time people were thinking this and doing that'. Or, failing that Demonstone Jr will be setting us 'prompt your AI implant to correctly solve this riddle based on the hivemind picture archive located at Ref: Demonland Six6Six'. It is also a bit of a touching moment for all of us who went through it. The ship came in to port. There were storms. The ship came in to port.

If gastro had gastro, it would be Tom Morris. Spare a thought for the snake which has eaten something so large it had to dislocate its jaw and poke its windpipe out the side of its mouth in order to swallow... and then gets gastro.

Surely any thread which mentions anything Essendon related is the right place to discuss relaxing censorship of expletives? I know it isn't really how football and list comparisons work, but I'll make the slightly tongue-in-cheek point that we beat Brisbane at the Gabba mid 2025. Just 8 games before we sacked out coach, we beat the eventual premiers. Weird things like that keep football interesting! Now you've got me wondering, who would come out of our own 2021 premiership side to make way for who in our current team? Oh, that took me to a dark place. Five our our best on the day are either still playing but somewhere else, or cruelly out of the game. Petracca, Oliver, Brayshaw, Jackson and Nibbler. That said, Footscray have almost entirely turned over that list - Just Bontempelli, Treloar, Liberatore, Naughton, English, Bailey Dale, Bailey Williams, Weightman and Vandemeer still at the Dogs! Anyway, without going too much into 'how much better is Pickett 2026 compared to Pickett 2021' and other players still with us I think you can make a case for; Steele over Sparrow. Chandler over Spargo. Van Rooyen over Brown (with all due respect to Brown and moderate optimism on Van Rooyen). Langford over Harmes. After that it is a matter of successors rather than comparisons. Demonland is the tip of the spear for fine football observations and insight. How dare you call us noise! Unless it is a reference to Trac and Clarry being told to PO, that is still my best guess! Next minute we'll be revealing that we've had an Ansett sponsorship deal officially on our balance sheet for the last 30 years. My eyelids definitely batted. They batted as deep as a 2000s Australian cricket team. I'm still managing the cramp.

I like this point but I really, really like how the auto-censor has hit it to create knee-[censored] reaction. Strong fetish vibes. Reminds me of early attempts to auto-censor words in corporate emails, which were countered by staff agreeing upon euphemisms/dysphorisms. So [censored] became 'turkey slice' or [censored] [censored] became 'fire hydrant'. Sure enough, once management realised they were being called a bunch of turkey slicers who had added even more fire hydrants to the reporting process, the censorship had to be extended... and the cycle proceeds...

Melbourne right now is a pundit's dream. You could say just about anything and make a case for it. Except possibly 'everything will click in 2026'. Our defensive unit will either wither with age and injury while young talls stall their development, or there will be a terrific overlap of rejuvenated and motivated veteran core providing stability for dynamic successors. Our midfield will either be crushed under the weight of effort to provide a sustained full unit, or our two veteran warriors will provide the guardianship and defensive solidity for an eminently complex and unpredictable mix of heights, styles and strengths from an enthusiastic young group which believes in their future together. Our forward line is either built around a young tall who plateaued early and will never quite be effective at AFL level, a forward-ruck who isn't quite the real thing, unfit smalls, and some ancient veterans who can barely move even when they do get on the park... or we have put together a critical mass of some of the smartest and most experienced forward-line movers who can guide our young highly mobile talls to make the most of their different instincts and a frightening collection of smalls who can appear anywhere without warning and will hunt anything that moves. Our ruck is, of course, a bit of a Gawn or bust situation. Up in the box and on the bench, and on training days, our coaches are either a brilliantly selected cadre of specialists under a senior coach who has been nurturing a vision and planning how to communicate it for years, or it is a grab bag of whoever happened to be available on the cheap and willing to work with that big dork Stephen. So, yeah, that about covers it. Predicted finish from 19th (behind Tassie) to 4th, I'd say.

Couple of people have mentioned Jai Culley as an occasional ruck chop-out. Thought I'd mention firstly the coincidence of Jack Silvagni being the same height, and then the chats from Blues fans that he is actually a bigger loss than it would seem. Many blues reckon his terrible injury run and overuse as a hole-plugger has cost the Blues more than a few wins over the last few years, as well as his contract. Anyway, the main connection is that Silvagni was being used as an undersized ruck stop-gap all over the ground in 2023-24, and actually did that role pretty well. Just 3 hitouts a game, but he was always an option because he already played in all areas of the field.