Chook

You mean the ones who run 10k to and from school, books in hand, every day from the age of 5? It must just be genetics, right?

Waah, waah, waah! Why didn't we get that Darling kid? Now we're screwed! Another tall skinny Melbourne kid who needs time. Boy do we need a Protein supplement sponsor.

I would be amazed if Brad Green would want the Captaincy at all. He didn't seem to enjoy it this year.

And that's a problem. If your best game was last millenium, you won't have much bargaining power. Brad Green should come to terms with the fact that job security is not a given for a professional athlete at the best of times - and that the best way to ensure another contract is at the selection table, not the bargaining table.

That's a pretty good point, and one which I didn't really think of. Still, you would think that the better midfielders would have the ability to hit a player on the lead no matter how tall or small he is.

Why not fix what's actually wrong with the team and pick up an honest to goodness proper midfielder? Our inside 50 count is in the bottom couple in the competition, but our "scores to inside 50s" ratio is high. For those of you who don't know what this means, I'll tell you: Our forwardline is fine. It's our midfield that sucks.

Who's to say Varcoe's shoulder wouldn't have popped out in the first 5 minutes of Round 1. Injuries happen - much less frequently than you might imagine, I might add. Get over it and stop bitching. If the players truly didn't want to do it, then they wouldn't. Who are you to tell them what they should be doing?

He's also taken millions of dollars from the Club. While he may have deserved that money, I have certainly not demanded as much from the club as he has, and therefore should not be required to "put in" as much as him. If that's true, then it is also good business to hold someone (especially a leader) accountable for an entire year's worth of bad performance.

No, the ones that get [censored] off by meaningless gestures made in insignificant games.

I certainly wouldn't cry myself to sleep if that happened.

I'd trade anyone in the Untouchables pile for Gary Ablett, so there's no such thing as an untouchable.

Significantly worse this year than last year. As a Captain, that's unacceptable. Hoo boy, I hope he can turn it around. And FYI, no smile is worse than a fake smile, and that goes triple for laughter.

Yeah, let's change our colours, too. Lets be the team of the yellow, red, blue, black, white, navy, purple, maroon, gold and brown. Did I miss any? Honestly, why not keep our modest, unique and time-worn song and just turn our attention to something a little more important?

I'd have to give credit for that nickname to Jaded.

Yes. I always thought that, too. It's all in the eyes. They are both sort of "bug-eyed."

Then it must be a certainty that he will.

I lost all respect for him as a coach after he completely ignored his team's worst performance for the year. Imagine if we had done that!

Cale Morton receives lifetime supply of spinach for Christmas. Proceeds to win the next 8 Brownlow Medals. Tom Scully abducted by aliens (little green men, no less) before playing a game for GWS. True to his name, no-one believes it.

His contract should have a significant bonus clause for finishing first in our B+F. Most of the time, money is a good enough motivator. Dangle a carrot in front of Sylvia's nose and watch him bolt like a thoroughbred.

Because he's not a choir boy? Please!

I'm excited about what this football club is trying to do for us.

As the first player younger than me to ever play for Melbourne, Cale Morton has a special place in my heart. But to be honest, Kate Moss has a better chance of being hard at the contest than him - at least she has some bloody drive!

Unfortunately that's worse than 2010, and if you're not getting better as a player, then how can you expect to lead your Club anywhere but away from a Premiership. I'd say that Aaron Davey, Brad Green, Cale Morton, Lynden Dunn and (for obvious reasons) Austin Wonaeamirri are the only players who played considerably worse this year than last year, and you can reasonably expect the heat to be put most intensely on these players. The fact that Brad Green is also our Captain only compounds his abject failure this year. If the buck stops with the Coach, the bell must surely toll for the Captain, too.

Good man, good man.

Way better than he's given credit for. I would not get rid of him. In fact, he'd be one of the first I'd select each week.