Chook

How many Melbourne players block for him and make space for him?

Melbourne FC Est. 1858 "​Insulsis damnas opus. Insulsis damnas histriones. Insulsis damnas clave."

Our transition from attack to defence is deplorable. Do we ever have more defenders back than our opponents have forwards? Good teams work hard, so that they outnumber the opposition both back and forward. We’re too lazy to do that.

Holy fück we are pathetic.

One of them is at another club and will hopefully be here next year. One is recovering from a knee injury. The rest are in high school.

Grimes as a small forward is an interesting experiment. Another shitty bounce from umpire 14. Salem’s absence has hurt us more than people realise.

Salem is class.

Commentator 1: “They’re using four umpires today, since both teams are out of finals contention." Commentator 2 (Riewoldt): “Does that mean they're using four umpires that are out of finals contention?” Commentator 1: “Don’t know." Umpire bounces it sideways for the opening bounce. Commentators: “Hmm…."

For what it’s worth, last night I had an extremely vivid dream of Patrick Dangerfield carving it up for us in the rain against Collingwood. I never dream about footy. I even remember the final scoreline. Melbourne 95 d Collingwood 89. The only thing that goes against this dream being a portent of the future is that Herietier Lumumba played well, which is obviously impossible.

That was one of the most interesting games of footy I’ve watched this year. I love the draw.

I’d love a dollar for every commentator who says “We all love Hodgey but…” before this weekend is out.

I’d take a loss against Carlton if we won against Fremantle and GWS. Each individual loss is relatively meaningless. All that matters is our performance across each season; it has to get better every year until we win a flag. If not, THEN there might be some ramifications.

And I can’t wait to see if my decision to waste hundreds of dollars on re-runs of "Friends" will remain justifiable.

Just watched it (still have it recorded on my Foxtel box). Disgraceful.

Can you remember when that happened? I want to go back and watch it.

Grimes was the bloody sub you nitwit. Played for a quarter, got 40 dream team points. Over a whole game, that would give him a score of 160 on this particular meaningless statistic.

I believe that to be quite incorrect. He is providing a good target for us up forward. He hasn’t been as influential as in recent weeks, but he has still contributed.

Fecked if I know.

Q: “Bulldogs have been really good. What do you want to see in this second half from your boys?” GOODWIN: “I wanna see ‘em actually lay a tackle, put some pressure on the ball and actually see if we can get the ball in our hands rather than defending the whole day." Amen.

So who is holding us back?

At first I was really disappointed at this unexpected lack of any way to counter a fast-running Dogs side…but then I remembered what happened to us when we came up against GWS and they finally got their running game going. The Bulldogs are a hell of a lot better than GWS.

Bring in Goodwin for 2016 and let Paul Roos mentor. He’s obviously past it as a match day coach.

How bout those Doggies? Wowser.

Hello. I’ve been saying this for yonks. Paul Roos is a terrible tactical coach. It’s not that his tactics suck; it’s that he’s not quick enough to change them when things go wrong.

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