NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES by The Oracle

It's a proven fact in football that when you're down, nothing goes right for you, not the bounce of the ball, the umpire's decisions, the rub of the green or any of the many imponerables that have an effect on the way the game's played. And so it was that a dispirited Melbourne line up, devastated by injuries, poor form, the loss of their coach and every other ill that can conceivably hit a team in one season produced yet another shocker for the dwindling bunch of diehards who continue to follow them in this winter of discontent.

When the Demons last met the Kangaroos two months ago at the MCG things weren't going well for them either but at least they gave it a crack and, in the end, they came tantalisingly close to pulling off an upset victory.

That was not to be the case this time and the Shinboners took a firm grip on the game early with the first four goals of the match against what have now become the slow coach Dees who simply can't get started until the second quarter these days. When they did get moving, the thrills were few and far between although newcomer Michael Newton provided one out of the box when he flew into the Telstra Dome stratosphere and came down with the keys to whatever vehicle is on offer this year for the AFL mark of the year.

But just as the Demons were starting to make a challenge and got to within a goal of their prey, they relapsed into their standard lamentable form making bad errors and generally uinderperforming. The Kangaroos put their collective feet on the gas, moved into top gear and produced five unanswered goals to cement their place before half time as outright second team on the ladder behind only the rampant Cats. The rest of the game was fluff.

Simply put, Melbourne lacked the teamwork, the spirit, the will, the ability and the general physical fitness to go it with a leading team. There were too many players in the side who could not give 100% either because they are injured or simply haven't the commitment to keep running all evening in the way the Kangaroos did to set up scoring opportunities at will.

The rays of light for Melbourne came from its younger players. Newton never stopped trying. When he wasn't marking strongly, he was chasing hard and showed he was hungry for the football. Likewise, another youngster in Simon Buckley who worked hard on a wing when given the opportunity. Nathan Jones was the standout on baller and I'm staggered that he was off the ground for long periods in the second half. Brock McLean was closely tagged and will no doubt relish the return of players like Travis Johnstone and Cameron Bruce to assist he and Jones and James McDonald who also worked hard as ever in the midfield. Jeff White played well in the ruck, Paul Wheatley tried hard and that was about it.

The problem from a spectator's point of view is that Melbourne is now in what I call "meander mode"; a state in which the team seems to wander aimlessly through its matches like zombies. There is a feeling that not enough people care about winning – a feeling that's helped by the viewpoint which is attracting more and more support that if losing can ensure a better draft position at the end of the year, then it's not all that bad. This is not quite the same as tanking but it's a twilight zone situation all the same. There's a feeling of unreality about any given game. As a result, fans can't get excited about anything (Juice's mark excepted) and many have stopped turning up. With the news that the club is not going to meet its financial targets this year, that's a double blow for the Demons.

Next week they take on another team they were unlucky to lose to the first time around in Port Adelaide. On what happened yesterday at the Telstra Dome, it's not even going to be a contest this time, especially if the team decides to meander its way around the ground without any aim or purpose as it did yesterday evening. And the sooner the end of the season comes and we do away with the zombies in our midst, then the better it will be for the Melbourne Football Club.

Melbourne 2.3.15 4.5.29 7.6.48 9.8.62

Kangaroos 4.2.26 9.3.57 14.9.93 19.12.126

Goals

Melbourne Newton Robertson 2 Buckley Jones McLean Moloney Neitz

Kangaroos Jones 4 Harvey McMahon Petrie 3 Hale Whyman 2 Brown Grant

Best

Melbourne Jones McDonald Newton White Wheatley Buckley

Kangaroos Harvey Jones Firrito Rawlings Sinclair Simpson Hale

Report

Simon Godfrey (Melbourne) by field umpire Kamolins for allegedly making forceful contact with McMahon (Kangaroos) in the third quarter. Withdrawn by the Match Review Panel.

Umpires Allen M Nicholls Kamolins.

Crowd 20,187 at Telstra Dome

NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES by The Oracle

Nathan Jones was the standout on baller and I'm staggered that he was off the ground for long periods in the second half.

Wondered that myself and suggest that it might be discipline or something like that. The week before Lynden Dunn was going all right but was a bit loose on his amn and next thing he's on the bench followed by being dropped this week.

Incidentally, where were all the Demon fans? At the snow where the coodabeens always place them at this time of year when the team's losing?

Incidentally, where were all the Demon fans? At the snow where the coodabeens always place them at this time of year when the team's losing?

I went to the snow nearly 30 years ago. I wonder when the coodabeens last went to the snow, or dined in a posh restaurant or chatted to their mates about tax schemes.

http://realfooty.com.au/news/news/another-...5043031702.html

I think an email campaign to ABC re this constant sledging ritual would be a good thing.

I went to the snow nearly 30 years ago. I wonder when the coodabeens last went to the snow, or dined in a posh restaurant or chatted to their mates about tax schemes.

http://realfooty.com.au/news/news/another-...5043031702.html

I think an email campaign to ABC re this constant sledging ritual would be a good thing.

If you are sick of the put-downs of our club by these guys here is their address. Speaking of top-end-of-town, Ian Cover, Geelong Suppporter was an ex-member of the time-serving Legislative Council in the Kennett years. You never hear any hear Cover being critiqued on his elitism.

http://www.abc.net.au/coodabeens/contact.htm

Rubbish!

All power to the Coodabeens there songs about all Clubs including Melbourne are most amusing and witty.

Greg Champion's songs stopped being funny yonks ago; that's if they were even funny in the first place, which they probably weren't. Now whenever I hear one of his tedious, humourless, crap-whimsy dirges I have to repress an urge to toss the radio against the nearest wall.

Guru Bob can eff off, too.

Greg Champion's songs stopped being funny yonks ago; that's if they were even funny in the first place, which they probably weren't. Now whenever I hear one of his tedious, humourless, crap-whimsy dirges I have to repress an urge to toss the radio against the nearest wall.

Guru Bob can eff off, too.

Why do you keep listening then?

I don't. As soon as he comes on, I change the station before I wreck my radio.

I don't. As soon as he comes on, I change the station before I wreck my radio.

So if you do that how do you hear his songs that clearly seem to clearly upset you?

Rubbish!

All power to the Coodabeens there songs about all Clubs including Melbourne are most amusing and witty.

The Coodabeens are fantastic.

Greg Champion's songs are so funny and witty as Rhino pointed out because they are so true.

The more that people complain, the more songs that they will write.

Plus, they know a thing or two about football.

So if you do that how do you hear his songs that clearly seem to clearly upset you?

Now you're just being silly.

Of course, I've heard him enough to know he's well past his use-by date. He has been on for nearly 30 years, after all.

Now you're just being silly.

And you were bragging about smashing your radio?.....

The Coodabeens are fantastic.

Greg Champion's songs are so funny and witty as Rhino pointed out because they are so true.

The more that people complain, the more songs that they will write.

Plus, they know a thing or two about football.

Completely agree.

I've never understood how people could think that the 'snow' comment could be offensive. Everytime someone says it to me I respond by saying "So, what you're saying is that I'm so rich that I can afford to go to the snow whenever I want and buy any car I want? Oh my, what a terrible thing to say - I'm rich!" Normally they stop after that.

And you were bragging about smashing your radio?.....

Completely agree.

It's called exaggeration, but I think you knew that.

If you are sick of the put-downs of our club by these guys here is their address.

Send in however much you like, it will only make them sing more. They said as much a few weeks ago when this topic came up on their show ... a Melbourne supporter actually asked them to cut back on the snow jokes and all they did was sing another two songs about the Dees. Their whole show is built up around developing and expanding the club stereotypes. I think it's quite funny.

There are only three things you can do:

1. Nothing. Just be your usual non-stereotypical self. Laugh off the stereotype for the nonsense that it is.

2. Try to counter the stereotype. Make up a "survey" of patrons at Mt Buller or Falls Creek showing the majority support some other teams, and send that in to the Coodabeens with a song line. Do the same with Range Rover drivers. The guy with the mohawk does as good a job as anyone ... send in a songline about him.

3. Go with the stereotype and have some fun. Start wearing check jackets and moleskin pants to the footy. Yell out "Go No. 9!". Get some MFC car stickers with "my other car's a Range Rover" on them, preferably stuck on to a 1976 Corolla or 1980 Datsun. Make it the joke it is. The worst thing you can do is get angry about it.

Also, every time someone here jokes about Collingwood or Bulldogs supporters and Centrelink, they discard the right to complain about Melbourne and snow jokes. You can't have it both ways. (My only Collingwood-supporting friends are actually lawyers).

By the way, if you have ever listened to the more serious side of Greg Champion's song-writing, outside of the Coodabeens and football, he's actually quite good. He is a very talented and accomplished guitarist.

i don't give two hoots what they sing about...but if anyone thinks they are actually funny they should be reassessing their sense of humour..

they are stuck in 1970s/80s style comedy...and bar the striaght laced ABC audience of higher than though people they are so irrelavent its not funny...

By the way, if you have ever listened to the more serious side of Greg Champion's song-writing, outside of the Coudabeens and football, he's actually quite good. He is a very talented and accomplished guitarist.

Quite correct Maurie.

i don't give two hoots what they sing about...but if anyone thinks they are actually funny they should be reassessing their sense of humour..

they are stuck in 1970s/80s style comedy...and bar the striaght laced ABC audience of higher than though people they are so irrelavent its not funny...

If you dont like them dont listen.

Whats the point of lambasting those that do?

If people want to listen to the Coodabeens, that's fine. My own personal opinion is that their humour is extremely outdated and I can't stand them, so I choose not to listen to them. Don't lose sleep over the mindless ramblings of tired hasbeens.

I've never understood how people could think that the 'snow' comment could be offensive. Everytime someone says it to me I respond by saying "So, what you're saying is that I'm so rich that I can afford to go to the snow whenever I want and buy any car I want? Oh my, what a terrible thing to say - I'm rich!" Normally they stop after that.

Agree Jarka. Supporters of Collingwood, Richmond and the Western Bulldogs cope it much worse than us. If you laugh at the following joke you can no longer be offended by snow stereotypes.

What is the difference between a park bench and a Collingwood supporter?

A park bench can support a family!

Just got home to check the snowfall. Well I actually like the Coudabeens and also like Greg Champion for that matter. I remember in the old days often going to see his band, "Greg Champion and the maniac rockers".

Still, his take on the demons is opportunistic and he wouldn't give a stuff if the club no longer existed.

The media are big-time opinion managers.

The stereotype game works well for us. The stereotype for the saints, tiges, pies, dons is all the same: feral, drug taking, unemployed, woodstock-sucking, welfare dependent bogans, without teeth. We are grouse.

P.S. -I meant woodstock and in woodstock bourbon and cola.

I'm going to the snow this weekend. Should I wear my melbourne jumper?

Jokes from the 70's/80's vs a team no good since the 60's?

Take the humour and enjoy it. Life's too short to get upset.

More enjoyable than listening to Rex.

quote name='Rhino Richards' date='Jul 24 2007, 08:05 AM' post='90336']

"All power to the Coodabeens there songs about all Clubs including Melbourne are most amusing and witty."

I agree, Rhino. In fact it's so light-hearted, I find Champion's lampooning completely inoffensive.

Agree with the article. It was an eerie feeling at the start of the game. There was no atmosphere and none of the usual noise you hear at the start of a game.

Still, his take on the demons is opportunistic and he wouldn't give a stuff if the club no longer existed.

Big Deal.

Take the humour and enjoy it. Life's too short to get upset.

More enjoyable than listening to Rex.

I cant for the life of me see why people see in or listen to Rex Hunt.

One of the most self centred, self focussed, hypocritical and dishonest windbags in the media.