The No T$ No B$ Thread

[daisycutter 29,743]

Maple can we get back to kiwi berries or Let's talk bananas Deefrog, anything but this animal talk?

and to think dee-luded wants us all to forsake the wicked cities and return to the purity of an agrarian existence

[Moonshadow 17,677]

and to think dee-luded wants us all to forsake the wicked cities and return to the purity of an agrarian existence

Do you read his posts dc? So you're the one....

[Bitter but optimistic 22,249]

I'm venting! What a disaster of a night. Wanted to impress the squeeze tonight with a special dinner. Well FMD.

First the young lady I'd employed to help for the night walked out and left me high and dry. Silly really. I had a bit of a slip and had to grab something to save myself- I'm sure all reasonable people will understand - well anyway, I'll let the courts sort that out.

Then I thought all was going along swimmingly with my own chefing until ... Well Romsey Manor has a gourmet kitchen - including one of those fancy double ovens .... but somehow the system failed me! The temperatures were the wrong way around!!!

FMD!!! Then the neighbour arrived making accusations and everything went to shite.

Perhaps Earl Hood can advise me but being of a higher social order can be difficult.

[Moonshadow 17,677]

I'm venting! What a disaster of a night. Wanted to impress the squeeze tonight with a special dinner. Well FMD.

First the young lady I'd employed to help for the night walked out and left me high and dry. Silly really. I had a bit of a slip and had to grab something to save myself- I'm sure all reasonable people will understand - well anyway, I'll let the courts sort that out.

Then I thought all was going along swimmingly with my own chefing until ... Well Romsey Manor has a gourmet kitchen - including one of those fancy double ovens .... but somehow the system failed me! The temperatures were the wrong way around!!!

FMD!!! Then the neighbour arrived making accusations and everything went to shite.

Perhaps Earl Hood can advise me but being of a higher social order can be difficult.

So, in summary, you're a letch and a luddite. Tell us something we didn't already know......

Edited June 3, 2015 by Moonshadow

[Biffen 12,947]

So, in summary, you're a letch and a ludite. Tell us something we didn't already know......

An incompetent letch,Luddite and a shite chef.

[daisycutter 29,743]

An incompetent letch,Luddite and a shite chef.

you left out pervert

[Moonshadow 17,677]

An incompetent letch,Luddite and a shite chef.

An incompetent letch, luddite, a shite chef AND a booze hound.

[Earl Hood 6,101]

I'm venting! What a disaster of a night. Wanted to impress the squeeze tonight with a special dinner. Well FMD.

First the young lady I'd employed to help for the night walked out and left me high and dry. Silly really. I had a bit of a slip and had to grab something to save myself- I'm sure all reasonable people will understand - well anyway, I'll let the courts sort that out.

Then I thought all was going along swimmingly with my own chefing until ... Well Romsey Manor has a gourmet kitchen - including one of those fancy double ovens .... but somehow the system failed me! The temperatures were the wrong way around!!!

FMD!!! Then the neighbour arrived making accusations and everything went to shite.

Perhaps Earl Hood can advise me but being of a higher social order can be difficult.

BBO I feel for you after such a dilemma but I can't provide much personal advice on these matters as my man Hudson deals with these type of "downstairs issues" as I label them.

[daisycutter 29,743]

BBO I feel for you after such a dilemma but I can't provide much personal advice on these matters as my man Hudson deals with these type of "downstairs issues" as I label them.

quite right too, earl

let the faux aristocracy muddle their own way through

give them a leg-up at your own peril

inferior breeding is the damnation of the empire, by gad

[Moonshadow 17,677]

BBO I feel for you after such a dilemma but I can't provide much personal advice on these matters as my man Hudson deals with these type of "downstairs issues" as I label them.

Earl, I think BBOs 'downstairs issues' have more to do with any variety of viral infection, fungus and performance disfunction than what happens with the staff in the kitchen.

Edited June 3, 2015 by Moonshadow

[Earl Hood 6,101]

On another issue Relating to the Hawks new training centre at Dingley, my wife who is a Hawk tragic is not happy with my vision for their new headquarters. Yes the Hawks Nest will have an admin centre, state of the art training facilities and about ten ovals to replicate the MCG, Etihad, the SCG, Subiaco, Adelaide Oval etc. but then there will be the RACV like supporters experience. A 10 storey hotel, an 18 hole golf course for use by the punters but only when the Dorks players aren't playing.

Then there would be Hawksworld for the kids to visit where you can buy tickets for the Dippertron where you enter a 3D light and sound space not unlike the old ghost train experience but instead you have a Dipper coming at you at 100 km/hr with his elbow up with only a second to react. After that you buy tickets for the Dermietron and then the lethaltron. The Lethaltron has great visuals, you really feel like you are there on the ground playing fullback and then all of a sudden your lights go out. It is an amazing game I mean at no time do you ever see Lethal lining you up for a king hit. It just happens, bang, you are out cold and no one ever sees it. Great game.

Oh the wife is not talking to me by the way.

[Moonshadow 17,677]

On another issue Relating to the Hawks new training centre at Dingley, my wife who is a Hawk tragic is not happy with my vision for their new headquarters. Yes the Hawks Nest will have an admin centre, state of the art training facilities and about ten ovals to replicate the MCG, Etihad, the SCG, Subiaco, Adelaide Oval etc. but then there will be the RACV like supporters experience. A 10 storey hotel, an 18 hole golf course for use by the punters but only when the Dorks players aren't playing.

Then there would be Hawksworld for the kids to visit where you can buy tickets for the Dippertron where you enter a 3D light and sound space not unlike the old ghost train experience but instead you have a Dipper coming at you at 100 km/hr with his elbow up with only a second to react. After that you buy tickets for the Dermietron and then the lethaltron. The Lethaltron has great visuals, you really feel like you are there on the ground playing fullback and then all of a sudden your lights go out. It is an amazing game I mean at no time do you ever see Lethal lining you up for a king hit. It just happens, bang, you are out cold and no one ever sees it. Great game.

Oh the wife is not talking to me by the way.

They would've kept the Buddyator, which closely resembles a safe injecting room, but that was shipped up to Sydney last year.

All the same, I really like the prizes you can win on the chance games. There's the Don Scott replica handbags, the Michael Tuck zimmer frame miniatures and the John Kennedy Snr personally signed flasher's coat.

[Earl Hood 6,101]

They would've kept the Buddyator, which closely resembles a safe injecting room, but that was shipped up to Sydney last year.

All the same, I really like the prizes you can win on the chance games. There's the Don Scott replica handbags, the Michael Tuck zimmer frame miniatures and the John Kennedy Snr personally signed flasher's coat.

Yes the Buddyator has gone but I have been doing some user acceptance testing on the Dermietron and it is very real. I am in hospital tonight after I did some simulations today without the proper PPE and Take 4 risk assessments. I stupidly started the Dermietron, then punched in Dean Chiron and found myself in a realistic 3D visual of the old Waverley ground with the umpire about to do the first bounce. There were plenty of Demon and Hawthorn jumpers around but I don't remember much more than that. The ball was bounced, then I caught a glimpse of Dermie and his elbow just before the collision, just before I passed out I was told I had given away a free to Dermie. But that's Hawksworld, they always win! Edited June 3, 2015 by Earl Hood

[Maple Demon 449]

The poor lads must be freezing their cojones off out your way, Bitter. Poor alpacas.

[daisycutter 29,743]

The poor lads must be freezing their cojones off out your way, Bitter. Poor alpacas.

it's worse than that. bbo is so desperate for filthy lucre he gives the lads a second shear just before winter

[Bitter but optimistic 22,249]

The poor lads must be freezing their cojones off out your way, Bitter. Poor alpacas.

The Alpacas are going ok Mable - the barn is centrally heated. In fact I flaked out there after last night's culinary disaster ( and a further bottle of shiraz).

Can't chat as I'm currently trying to recover my reputation for producing culinary delights. Might be my last chance with the squeeze.

[bjDee 1,249]

Which one of the alpacas is the squeeze?

Edit: no don't tell me - it's the good looking one - right?

Edited June 4, 2015 by bjDee

[daisycutter 29,743]

not sure about the cajones since all bbo's pygmy camels are geldings

[Biffen 12,947]

Which one of the alpacas is the squeeze?

Edit: no don't tell me - it's the good looking one - right?

It's whoever is the slowest one Maple.

As a result his Alpacas are some of the fasteft known to man.

[Moonshadow 17,677]

Which one of the alpacas is the squeeze?

Edit: no don't tell me - it's the good looking one - right?

Depends which day of the week it is bjDee.

Let's see..... today is Thursday, so that means that it will be the light brown hembre, I believe he calls her Dominique. BBO talks about them constantly, it really is quite a bore to put up with on match. Biff and Mable will vouch for me.

[Biffen 12,947]

Dom must be the one with the one with the ear ring.

[Moonshadow 17,677]

Dom must be the one with the one with the ear ring.

Do you suffer from a stutter Biff?

[bjDee 1,249]

Think it's a big nite happening down at the Gat. He's already called me Maple.

Seeing double, speaking double. I'm not usually like that till this time tomorrow nite.

[Maple Demon 449]

Depends which day of the week it is bjDee.

Let's see..... today is Thursday, so that means that it will be the light brown hembre, I believe he calls her Dominique. BBO talks about them constantly, it really is quite a bore to put up with on match. Biff and Mable will vouch for me.

Most of Bitter's comments are rather unique, Shadow. However, when Bitter has had a few to many Shiraz's to forget the lacklustre on-field product on game day, he starts talking about the lads' lineage. That is when he has lost me. Apparently it all traces back to an albino alpaca named Sven. Edited June 5, 2015 by Maple Demon

[daisycutter 29,743]

i think bbo has read too much greek mythology and is overly fascinated by centaurs

at least that goes somewhat to explaining his odd attempts at animal husbandry