Little Goffy

It seems that it took a few weeks for the Dogs to reorganise their attack without Bruce and they are now relying on smalls to kick goals while Naughton provides and almost singular marking and contesting target. First thing first: Aaron Naughton has had 4, 3 and 6 contested marks in the finals. He is their designated target who the Bulldogs rely on as the 'bang it long' option. With the small forwards they have, they know and he knows all he has to do is get the ball to ground. In contrast, Tim English has had a total of zero and Schache has had two. Schache did prove effective at getting general marks inside 50 and keeping mobile enough to demand attention. But here's my main point - Bulldogs goals in finals by tall (190cm+) or small (under 190cm) vs Essendon Talls 5 - Naughton 3, Shache 2 Smalls 8 - Weightman 4, Hannan 2, Smith 1, Vandemeer 1, vs Brisbane Talls 2 - Schache 1, Naughton 1, Smalls 9 - Smith 3, Liberatore, 2, Johannisen 1, Macrae 1, Hannan 1, Weightman 1 vs Port Adelaide Talls 3 - Naughton 2, Schache 1, Smalls 14 - Smith 4, Hannan 3, Bontempelli 2, Johannisen 1, Treloar 1, other Smith 1, Vandermeer 1, Scott 1, Did I do better than ol' Kingy?

It might feel better if you think of it as "I have a special bond with everyone who has been ****** around by the arrogant establishment at the Essendon Football Club."

Socks with sandals? Should nip that in the bud before Geelong come to recruit him.

Nathan Jones not being at this Grand Final will be remembered like the punch Ali didn't give Foreman. Should we win, Jones' entry into AFL folklore will be complete.

What a terrific find! Surely there's scope for the club to do a mock-up putting a modern one next to the old, with Haymes Paint instead of the British Paints. Gotta look after the sponsors. Also, how funny is that 'view of Waverly Stadium' with its projected capacity of 166,648!

Can't find the words for it but Nathan Jones... he is 'us'. It is almost fitting that on Grand Final day he will be 'with' the supporters. He's one of us now. And you know it is peak MFCSS when people are investing effort looking for negative connotations between the lines of an instagram post of someone who just gave birth to twins by emergency C-section! Grand Final can't come soon enough and I look forward to watching and celebrating in much the same way as Jones will be. Well, except I hope I won't be needing to change any nappies mid-game. We'll see how close it gets.

I regret I have to say that the only two Dogs supporters I've known personally are both excellent. Very different, too. One is a properly sophisticated yet unpretentious intellectual who really should be a Demon based on stereotypes. The other was in that brilliant category of 'first in the family to get a degree/office career' and was proudly committed to doing it well at the same time as being equally committed to taking the [censored] out of the entire system. I can't hate them, but I still want to crush them.

By my count, at home we can assemble two current phones, one old phone, one work phone, two home laptops and one work laptop and have them all on video calls, each to multiple people. I picturing a rig something like the twelve monkeys set-up. Should we go full Covid-era and have an official Demonland Zoom meeting or is that just too likely to get too profane? Could be worth recording for posterity, too!

Honestly, we have so many father-son selections coming through in the next few years, he'll barely have a job to do.

Fair enough. I'm a bit taut about it. Life in Sydney married to an Aged Care sector worker is f'n tense these days.

So... you're the reason the game is not in Melbourne, are you? I call BS. Send me a message if you have any basis for that claim, but let's not have any debate in a thread that is supposed to be about making the most of the situation we're all in.

The timing of this is superb. It's a low-key reminder that the future is still going to happen whatever the result on the 25th and that we have the right people attending to it. I'm definitely a little less anxious now.

For his birthday some troll online put together a video of all of the times he screwed up during the finals...

Well, we've got two weeks to pass and we're in lockdown. Anything that creates a sense of a crowd and community is welcome. It's time for team "Get random celebrity endorsements from around the world." Points awarded for both quantity and quality.

Unless his wife is giving birth at that exact moment. Or... especially if his wife is giving birth at that exact moment?

Sometime in the third quarter I suddenly started calling Charlie Spargo 'Banksy' and I like so I'm going to keep doing it. Nobody knows who he is and he keeps producing little works of art in unexpected places.

Any last minute tips for any unexpected heroes or special moments?

I think that B. Smith is actually Brock Smith - yet to play a game after being taken at 33 by Brisbane. The B.Smith of fame and fortune was in the 2018 draft.

Continuing the theme where a club pushed itself up to the peak through a series of draft boosts; both Hawthorn (Rioli) and Geelong (Selwood) had that one last super pick right before their premiership breakthrough who played most of the season with real impact. Not sure Bowey quite counts as that for us but it is an interesting pattern.

Did you know (yeah, you probably did but let's make it explicit): In finals the Western Bulldogs average 50% more free kicks than their opposition. Under Luke Beveridge, Bulldogs have lost every final where they lost the free kick count, and won every final where they won the free kick count.

Obviously I'm posting this as a joke but it is always a good idea to read these things because first aid is constantly improving. For example, the 'Heimlich' maneuver has been out of date for a long time despite it still constantly appearing in movies for dramatic/comedic effect. Even Heimlich himself stopped recommending it years ago. https://www.ausmed.com.au/cpd/articles/choking-aged-care Older Adults and Choking Did you know that older adults over the age of 65 are seven times more likely to choke on food than children aged 1 to 4 (Cichero 2018)? Loss of muscle mass and strength - which is a natural part of the ageing process - affects muscles related to chewing and swallowing, increasing the risk of choking (Cichero 2018).

Ease up. The facts do the job and are well known.

My mother finally got back to her Art when she retired and her first exhibition was of fine tonal pointilism, titled 'Ellipsis'. Just thought you'd like the wordplay. That's all. Also, it is as clear as day that in five years Kalani will be an elite mobile ruckman who will come in at the perfect time to develop flawlessly under the tutelage of then two-time All-Australian ruckman/forward Jackson and newly retire / appointed assistant coach Gawn, with White going on to be the best of the three. Obviously.

It's okay, Demons are just resting Nibbler for a week to prevent him being suspended for Selwood's neck-to-the-throat fend-off and/or off-the-line-of-the-ball bump to the side of a bent over opponent's head a couple of weeks before that. Hard to imagine Nibbler being able to focus with that much scrutiny on him.

Ahh, those pre-season reports were an age ago. Much appreciated, too, Mr Fence. Someone should ask the club if there have been any slitherers out at Joondalup. We also need a rating on the pies/bacon and egg rolls. Bit of grassroots connection would be a nich touch while we're all going mad.