Little Goffy

You hit that change of momentum like Wile E Coyote hitting an anvil!

Nick Watson's make-up gives me the uncanny valley creeps. Overall this game looks like it is being played on top of a wobbly table.

Premium solid gold sincerity. You and the family are a credit to the club.

I call it 'woo woo culture'. Where absolutely anything, no matter how inane or just plain wrong, has to be followed by a crowd indicating their group membership by going woo woo. Prominently American in English-speaking culture, but not uniquely American of course. You can see it in anything from Korean dating shows (I think she has nice hair... woo woooooo) to the Nuremberg Zeppelinfield. Those who recall the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy might remember the alien planet where everyone had telepathy, but it got really awkward knowing everyone's thoughts so to mask them everyone began talking constantly about absolute drivel. Yeah, this kind of [censored] is just that - a screen against sincerity.

By al acounts?

Funny to think that both Petracca and Oliver and the Melbourne Football Club are all closer to a next premiership because of the "Great Enema of 25". (I'm trademarking that expression but Demonland members are welcome to use it) Throw in Nibbler and Grundy and there could be some kind of Demon playing a major role in every premiership for the rest of the decade. Hmm, have we got any agents planted at Brisbane? Does Fagan count?

Can't we have goal novels instead? Kick a goal, read a page. Actually we could all do with a bit of 'kick a goal, listen to 30 seconds of Orwell's The Lion and the Unicorn' as read by Ian Mckellan'. Kick a goal from a snap shot, get Penfold from original Danger Mouse going 'ooh crumbs'. Kick a goal, Kermit the Frog celebrates continuously until the restart.

Gold Coast are given a 92% chance to best West Coast in that squiggle system. That is pretty good progress for the Eagles when you consider they are 11 wins from 91 games across all opponents. Interesting to see Squiggle just slightly favouring Collingwood over Adelaide and North over Port. Wow, Melb v St Kilda is match of the day on Sunday.

Indeed, they don't bloom every season, but they are always worth keeping an eye on. He already has his grandad's arms. (See also what the gypsy woman said about 2028)

Hope he's all right. Tough time.

Okay, genuine question, what are the best options for an 8-month old? Is there an academy program he can join? Highly mobile big man at 75cm and 12kg, powerful kick, loves a contest, great below everyone else's knees. Fast learner, appreciates guidance, but DOES NOT UNDERSTAND OUT OF BOUNDS.

Just go to use the toilets and not flush. 'For history's sake'.

It is a feature of the rucking world. Preuss, Grundy, and arguably even McInerney from Casey was missed because the position was filled. At the same time, having that second ruxk option who can also be respectable - just a role player - as a marking target makes a great difference to a team. They stretch defenders and if they are fit enough they really stretch wingers when they offer the long lead. Right now I'm also recalling Darren Jolly and Stefan Martin who were stuck in the traffic jam behind Jeff White, and Mark Jamar who was the emergent successor. Ruck is a merry-go-round and having the best is not a problem. We may yet be extremely lucky to have Heath doing the big target 70-30 fwd-ruck role. I have my own suspicion that Gawn will often drop back to provide some intercepting height, which we know he does well, and that Heath will be a continuously present ruck for the forward portion of the ground. Saves Max a ton of running, supports our vulnerable tall defenders, and is also very appropriate with the new faster ball ups.

On the bright side, in 2028 while we are winning a premiership, Collingwood will have no Pendlebury, no Moore, only one 30yr old Daicos and a banana's chance in Hobart of rebuilding smoothly. Not only are the drafts compromised, but Tassie will blow out the salary cap market.

The only conclusion is that Geelong and Hawthorn are both unaccountable easy beats. Huzzah!

Kind of wishing Clarkson had gone to Gold Coast while Hardwick had endes up at North.

Pretty sure Clarrie has kicked at least one goal against Geelong tonight. Everyone else has!

I think the true strategy is finally taking shape. Petracca's contract plus putting the pressure on to bump up Humpty's contract. Just that little too much salary cap squeeze. Ben King free agent. 4D chess being played here.

Must be hard to resist saying "From Cosch's".

I'm surprised you didn't fall over doing that.

Amusing myself looking at stats while commuting, and twigged to an odd similarity. Bailey Humphrey 2025 Jake Melksham 2018 Footywire comparison Just a couple of clearances a game difference. Now, I think Melksham's late career bloom at half forward is criminally underrated, but does that mean I think he was worth two first rounders? Hrmm. Give Dan Curtin a couple of years to develop and I'm sure we can Lever him out of Adelaide. See what I did there? Gosh I'm hilarious. Maybe we could use a Crowbar?

Geelong to beat Gold Coast for death riding purposes and because it'll be funny when Geelong stumble out of the top 4 late in the season by dropping multiple 'should win' games in the final 6 rounds, including us in round 20. St Kilda to thrash Collingwood so the Pies can be miserable for 100% of a season, but also so the Saints can get ahead of themselves in time for round 1 against us. GWS will beat Hawthorn in a farcical game interrupted by storms at the basically open-air Showgrounds stadium, with 8,750 fans getting drenched before and after on the long open concourses between the stadium and all parking/transit options. Oliver will look fine in the wet because finesse ain't gonna be a thing. Brisbane will beat the Bulldogs in a shootout that will make the media froth their pants while overlooking the dangerous lack of defensive commitment from both sides. Sydney will carry on the tradition of having star forwards kick bags against Carlton. Carlton will carry on the tradition of their ex-forwards outscoring them, although usually it is collectively, not just one. It'll be a vile game to watch, though, because Sydney is turning on its classic foul humid weather designed to harm all mammals. Expect a last quarter of nonsense. Possibly on-field vomiting.

Surely your swear jar has bought itself a mansion on the coast by now, has moved out and is blocking your calls.

"He signed the roof off" "Contracting the house down" One which always applies for young players; "He could be anything in a few years!" Like, by 2029 Langford could be a barstool, a giant octopus monster, or a new stand at the 'G.

A figurative and also literal giant of Australian sport - I had the pleasure of once encountering him ducking his way out of a lift at the 'G. I came to AFL about the time his presence was peaking and his voice and style are synonymous with the game. Would I even be so invested in the game if not for his beautiful blend of calm enthusiasm? An enthusiasm which always seemed sincere, unconfected, and give space for (and probably amused by) the rest of us periodically losing our minds.