Little Goffy

Similarly, Brisbane won a premiership on the back of a pre-season at Vegas.

Or we can just get one of those robot vacuum cleaners for his home. Geelong are starting to looking like systematic home-wreckers. You'd probably find their profile on a sugar baby website. I really look forward to the day they get audited.

Taking it back to general media pile-ons, I suspect it is going to be a very rough few weeks for the Hawks after their pair of high-profile young small forwards - one a teenager and the other recently traded to them for cheap due to attitude and having his illicit consumptions make it onto social media - cancelled their attendance at a kids footy clinic at the last moment because they were hungover (+?) after the Hawthorn Best and Fairest night. You'd think he'd ease up on the drinking at least, after the massive amount of his own bathwater he publicly consumed prior to the semi-final. Haaa ha ha ha haa haa haaaaaa obviously I'm joking there will be no consequences. He's a 'cheeky character who enlivens the game'.

Is it too late to amicably and mutually end his contract and allow him to move as he free agent? Geelong would love it because they wouldn't have to give up anything, and based on the compensation for Josh Battle we would be awarded more draft picks than Tasmania.

I suspect that the biggest cultural difference between our club and others is that we have so many people keen to pursue their agendas and vendettas through public channels. Or, to put it another way, people ready to hurt the club in order to contest control over the club. It is why the only times we've been able to turn in positive directions have been the times we've had 'unchallengeable' leadership figures, such as Stynes or the Roos/PJ combo. While that's going on the leaders within the club who are trying to address the substantive issues get publicly whipped by BOTH the faction resisting changes and the faction impatient for change. Then there are certain unscrupulous vendetta-bearers and wannabe king-makers who will take both those sides into the public domain just for the cause of white-anting the current leadership. It would be fascinating to be able to map it all out.

We're from very different necks of the woods, I suspect, but nothing beats a giant bonfire. Best bonfire I ever had was the final night of a season of outdoor nighttime opera (seriously) that finished with the entire stage - set, curtains, props, base, backstage and definitely some non-regulation bonus flammables - being sent up in flames to a massed chorus of Carmina Burana. I think my mum got free tickets because one of the music teachers at her school was involved. Stick that up ya 'Never tear us apart'.

They are currently having a revival led by a gameshow format they borrowed from the BBC hosted by celebrity talent on loan from the ABC.

Hey, I'm a crypto millionaire and property investor with a Ferrari and a massive [censored] that keeps my gorgeous young submissive wife happy all night thanks to those ads. It sounds boring but is actually an important ritual for keeping Collingwood supporters out - they look and ask where the tennis balls are.

Don't tell @Ethan Tremblay about dropping below Adelaide! Also... seriously, isn't pretty much everyone's 19th Birthday their worst... so far...

Ha ha ha, eat a [censored] Hawthorn.

Had pick 1, successfully traded it for pick 23 which he then used to bring Brendan Fevola out of retirement.

I know it's traditional (one of the more miserable and dull traditions) to boo players who change clubs, but is it too much to dream of being seven goals up in the final quarter and Nibbler gets to line up for a set shot in front of the Demon Army all singing "And Iiiiiiiiiii-eeeeIiiiiiiieeeeiiiiìiii will always love youuuuuuuu-oooooooo-ooooo" And you just know he'd be laughing too hard to kick straight. @WalkingCivilWar how's your singing voice?

Not sure about the ethics of having cyborg implants added in a secret lab in the Austrian Alps, but if we're doing it...

He is quite welcome to tell us what a great addition Weitering is going to be when we get him as a free agent next season.

Should we start a 'nearest the pin'? 1. John Longmire 'sick of this ---' and leaving Sydney to become a senior assistant at West Coast. 2. Essendon arrested. Just, the whole club. Gotta be sure. I the US they called it a RICO case, I believe. 3. ATO to investigate Geelong after discovering 2/3rds of the Bellarine Peninsula is 'mysteriously' negatively geared.

Honestly if you think the situation at Melbourne is a 'similar mess' to the death spiral which Fagan dragged Brisbane out of, you've lost touch with reality.

For some people it is time to go google 'parasocial relationship' and then book an appointment with a psychologist.

If Josh Battle is worth pick 8... No, nope, there's no viable end to that sentence. Secret formula strikes again.

Don't think so. I just feel like Teague has a certain non-threatening persuasiveness which would be priceless for a coach so completely under attack that even as reigning premier people were actively undermining him. I'm also starting to find it funny to see a growing picture of the problems at the club coming from practically every direction except the coach, but every faction is keen to keep the coach dangling on a frayed string. That's for another thread but also very much something Teague can relate to. Ha! I guess the big risk is Teague will tell Goodwin how much happier he was as soon as he got out of the position of 'head coach of a dysfunctional club'.

Is that like MDMA? But yes, you are right - I see Martin as being more in the 'lose it in this casino' side of the comment. Bailey and Oliver, though... that's big money.

To be fair, 'that list' was only half there at the time, with the full wave of the Silvagni mass recruitment of NQRs occurring just before, and then having its impact during Teague's tenure. Carlton had a 2-win season prior to his arrival. Walsh, De Koning, McKay and Curnow were all still very young, Cerra and Acres hadn't arrived, and, let's be frank, Carlton even now are very star-dependent and brittle. Their best season since Ratten is 13 wins and a draw, and they only bagged two more wins than us this year. Carlton were a mentally broken shambles when Teague took over, while the fans and coteries thought they should be challenging for a premiership because of their 'epic' best 6. It isn't as if he did a Paul Roos turnaround job or anything, but he shouldn't be marked too harshly for managing a 40% win rate with the hand he was given. I do think he'd be an excellent, calm and deep thinking assistant coach who might be a very effective word in the ear of Goodwin.

Geelong allegedly pursuing all of Martin, Bailey Smith, and Oliver is starting to look like a whole lot of under-the-table deals and a 'make sure he loses it in this casino' vibe. Meanwhile, Bulldogs Best and Fairest had an interesting quirk that not a single player from their forward line made the top ten. Ugle-Hagan, Naughton, Weightman and Darcy all missed. That's a lot of salary cap consumed for what the club itself is saying is not much return.

What if Clayton Oliver / the club was playing 3D chess with Geelong as part of planning a move to the Dogs once Smith & Macrae leave? Smith to Geelong, good draft picks to Dogs. Macrae to wherever, moderate picks or pick upgrade. Complicated pick package to Melbourne for Oliver, Melbourne get Geelong's 15, Brisbane's 14 (via a points trade enabled by the pick package), and a good position in the second round. We go into the first round of a strong draft with our existing pick 5, plus 14 and 15. A massive bucket of salary cap space opened up for the rich 2025 free agency market. And a whole lot less 'issues'.

Played hard to the last and still getting tagged, I see.