Mazer Rackham

I can see a new career for you as a naming consultant to 18 clubs' leadership groups.

I'm afraid anything more creative is too mentally taxing for your standard AFL player. That's why Brodie Grundy had to leave. Players' brains were getting fried trying to work out how to ask for the ball.

Was that Yze's nickname?

Let's face it, Waverley Park couldn't do anything right.

1991. Think Angry Anderson and the batmobile. And Lisa Ondeiki's hubby trying not to kill himself laughing. (edit: oh. "only" GF. Still, worth it to remember the batmobile.)

Jed Adams (26) - Adamsy Kyan Farris-White (43) - Whitey Tom Fullarton (33) - Fullartony Marty Hore (27) - Horey Lachie Hunter (12) - Huntery Shane McAdam (23) - McAdamsy Andy Moniz Wakefield (45) - Wakesy Will Verrall (28) - Verrally

I remember that. Templeton dragged himself into the first meeting by his arms, his useless lower body trailing helplessly behind him. His lower limbs showing signs of having recently been re-attached at the knees. "Jesus Christ, it's Kelvin Templeton!" said the Dees brains trust. "Before we start the meeting, can you sign these footballs?" "I ... I ... " wheezed Templeton. "Please, I ..." He slumped to the floor, coughing. "Kelvin, is that ... blood dripping from your knees?" asked one committee member, noticed the blood pooling on the floor under the great forward. "Oh, that ..." gasped Templeton. "I'm fine ... it only hurts ... it only hurts when I .... breathe ... oh, God ..." He then lost consciousness. "Jesus, fellas" said the chairman. "We'd better sign him before Collingwood hears he's on the market." Having said that, I have happy memories of a game at Princes Park where he ripped the Blues a new one. Good times!

On the plus side: Cornes is not afraid to "speak truth to power" (although I suspect there are limits to this, eg when it comes to Port, or AFL head office). On the negative side: he has openly said he admires the US sport commentators, that "big" things up, create controversy, shout into the mike, and generally make a big splash even where a big splash is not needed. For ratings/clicks/whathaveyou. You know the kind: the ones with the aggression, the constant shouting, the controversial predictions. The rightness or wrongness of what they say is secondary to the noise. He sees that you can make a career out of being, essentially, a loudmouth. I resent him for trying to bring this manufactured outrage to a game that has, for well over a hundred years, stood on its own due to its inherent entertainment value. It doesn't need an extra layer of "mayonnaise" (to put it charitably). Why do we need the Corneses of this world "adding" to the experience with their blather, especially when the only ones who are benefiting are the Corneses?

Only one remedy that will shut these numpties up. Winning, winning, and more winning.

He missed hitting all his KPI targets for the match: beat your opponent, stay in formation when we have the ball, provide pressure when we don't, and kick 8 goals.

Same as it did then. Eddie may be a good salesman, but the one-eyed nature of his support for Collingwood has always been his weak spot.

If you're lucky, this will go right over most peoples' heads.

P-P's appeared to be a genuine "football incident" and in a contact sport, merde happens. Unfortunate. Saints currently sitting in top 4? NO Saints with crack at a flag? NO Webster star player? NO Webster "good bloke"? Opinions vary. St Kilda fanboys in media cracking the [censored]? NO So that's one point at best. Webster to be hung drawn and quartered.

Well, the tribunal chairman did bang the gavel with his left hand, when protocol demands the right, so it's correct that as a matter of law, Cripps got off. Takes a QC to spot these little things.

Blood oath it was. Webster can hardly be expected to avoid a collision when he's left the ground. He's like a frisbee with arms and legs. And Simpkin's momentum after kicking carried him in the direction of Webster, so it's all on him, really. I'm sure a few QCs arguing for 5 hours that up is down will sort this out amicably, with Webster being cleared. Oh. NOW you're asking for multiple weeks for a head high collision. Well, I suppose it's never too late. (Unless you're Angus Brayshaw.)

Of course rumours are going to run rife amongst the community. These things get legs of their own. "I heard a rumah that theyz gunna take away the dog area." "Yair, I heard a rumah theyz gunna take away all the dogs too." "Yair, I heard a rumah theyz gunna catch all the dogs an youthenise them!" "I heard theyz gunna concrete the entire place except for some fake grass for the Melbin footy club and ya get arrested if ya walk on it!" The proponents of the new Caulfield "sports precinct" must have anticipated complaints/demands from not only local residents but local sporting club. It's up to them to get out in front as much as possible with information. (I concede that they can't always do that on a time line that suits us.)

Nothing except having to drag all our gear, including marquees, tables, laptops, etc etc, 200m from AAMI, and back again. Have you been along Swan St/Olympic Ave when we are training versus when the Pies are training? It's night and day professionalism. One's a major sporting club and one's a local team having a hitout. And you say we lack nothing?

Collingwood, Hawthorn, Richmond will sit back and let us have exclusive training facilities built in to the G, and won't demand the same for themselves. Yes, I can see that happening. Two seconds after we get access for training, Richmond, Hawthorn, Collingwood, not to mention Essendon, Carlton, Dogs/Roos/Saints will demand the same. Scuppering the whole idea, as the MCG turf is more sacrosanct than the head. It is. While we're looking back admiring the sunset, everyone else has sprinted away towards the dawn.

Rules that require "interpretation" : unique in the world of sport, and a joke and a travesty. A sporting tribunal that allows itself to be hijacked by QCs who are granted unlimited time to blather & split hairs & nitpick & run hearings like court cases; also a joke and a travesty. Good point. Head is sacrosanct, but there is a now a body of work, from Gablett Jr's two-weeks-in-a-row escapes, to Cripps' laughable exoneration (and plenty of other cases in between), and now Maynard, to show just how arbitrary this sanctity is. With the AFL MRO/tribunal jumping through hoops to get these players off. Jim O'Dea, in front of the modern tribunal, might well get off (except for the fact that he hit a Filth player).

The upcoming class action lawsuit against the AFL.

The AFL isn't wary of our fan base the way they are of Collingwood's/Essendon's/etc. Nor are any journos going to rile up the masses with op-eds demanding compo. No way we'll get any compo.

That's the joke. "The head is sacrosanct" was supposed to be the proaction. Pathetic how it turned out to be as solid as drifting sheet ice. Gaps opening up all over the place.

I'm not sure they even have the awareness to realise just how complicit they are in pushing the AFL's agenda du jour.

Justice has been done! (not) Eat your words, McGuire. The limp jellybacked AFL and their "toss a coin" approach to the head being sacrosanct have contributed to this. Head high, Angus, you will always be a flag hero. That gutsy mark in the 3rd quarter will always remain a highlight. All the best.

Everyone's happy with Brodie. The question is, is Brodie happy with the Swans?