THE DEMON JUGGERNAUT ROLLS WEST

[Demonland 66,968]

by Slander

So the Demon juggernaut rolls west this week to football's Bermuda Triangle to face football's reverse take on the Harlem Globetrotters.

What is it about Freo that commands such disrespect? They've won 5 from 7 at Subi this year, are in the eight and have probably the best power/small forward combination in the league in Pavlich and Farmer.

Maybe we just can't take a team seriously that parade around an anchor (maybe that's what has held them back since 95?) and wears purple!

The outcome of this encounter will be most interesting because in the past two seasons this is around about the mark where both Fremantle and Melbourne have choked as bad as Jimi Hendrix's last hurrah (or more accurately pronounced: "hlahwah") f*cking up what looked like decent tilts at the finals. The script is set for a world famous Freo slip up at home or a bad Melbourne loss followed by countless more.

THE HISTORY

We are 3 and 3 at Subiaco against Freo. 2004 saw a nice victory in wet conditions (bring back Vardy!), 2005 saw a comical performance of poor skills, ridiculous home town charity umpiring, our defenders attempting to kill each other and a Freo victory by 5 goals.

Earlier this year at the MCG we put them to the sword by a colossal margin, more of that would be appreciated this weekend.

THE GAME

As with every game the battle will be won in the midfield the absence of Brock McLean will hurt and I wouldn't bank on Godfrey playing a blinder like last week. Pavlich is a massive threat and Carroll, Holland and Rivers will all have roles in directly or indirectly nullifying him. On the Farmer front the terror warning is medium as I don't think Matty W will give him the kind of leeway he enjoyed last week against the Colliwobbles.

THE PREDICTION

It's a danger game (what isn't you idiot?) but I think our hardness at the ball and strong tackling will win out. Melbourne by 3 points in another scrappy game.

HERITAGE ROUND

Well it's that time of year again where everybody plays dress ups this year is an 80's theme. God knows why Freo are wearing that rubbish try hard South Melbourne strip again, something to do with South and East Fremantle in the 1900's. Meh.

We'll be wearing the royal blue that was donned by the Dees up until 1987. The truth behind this strip is that when 'Melbourne' was wearing this strip it wasn't the Melbourne Football Club. It was actually Robbie Flower Football Club with several life size manikins painted to look like footballers and some cameo performances along the way from Carl Ditterich, Peter Moore, Mark Jackson and Ron Barrassi. It was a conspiracy by the VFL because everyone knew if you had any decent footballers around Robbie Flower that there would be no point in having a competition. All hell wouldn't stop the Demons.

For this and other conspiracies of how the Moon Landing was fake, the ABC is the last communist state and Toadie from Neighbours is really an extra-terrestrial that landed at Roswell in the 1970's stay tuned!

FREMANTLE v MELBOURNE

Where & When: Subiaco, 2.40pm (4.40pm AEST), Sunday 23 July, 2006

TV & Radio: Fox Footy Fox Footy Channel, 6PR, ABC Radio, 3AW (from quarter-time)

Head to Head: Played 18, Fremantle: 8, Melbourne: 10

Last time they met: Melbourne 17.15.117 def. Fremantle 8.10.58 Round 7, 2006, at the MCG

The betting: Fremantle $1.87 Melbourne $1.86

The Teams:

FREMANTLE

B Mundy Johnson Parker

HB M Carr McPharlin Dodd

C Peake J Carr Headland

HF Schammer Pavlich Crowley

F Longmuir Murphy Farmer

FOLL Sandilands Hasleby Bell

I/C Drum Hayden McManus Webster

EM Black Gilmore Cook

IN Longmuir

OUT Cook

MELBOURNE

B Whelan Carroll Holland

HB Ward Rivers Bartram

C Davey Johnstone Green

HF Sylvia Bruce Pickett

F Robertson Neitz Yze

FOLL White Godfrey McDonald

I/C Dunn Jamar Read Wheatley

EM Bell C Johnson Motlop

IN Read

OUT C Johnson