CLOSELY WATCHED TRAINS

[Demonland 66,930]

by Whispering Jack

There were a number of things about which I pondered on the train home from the Telstra Dome yesterday and I have to admit that the performance of the Melbourne Football Club was not at the forefront of my thoughts (although not entirely out of mind).

In the first instance I thought of Connex Melbourne, the private operator of the electrified suburban railway network in our fair city. I wondered whether I should write a letter of complaint about the train services they operate for sporting events to and from the Dome.

How could I pen my displeasure at the announcement to the thronging after match crowd at the top of the steps leading into the station’s bowels that the next Frankston line train was departing on Platform 13 when several minutes later (and about 5 minutes beyond the scheduled time) the bloody train rolled up on the adjacent Platform 12 requiring a quick sprint up and down a flight of stairs and a headlong leap into the carriage of an almost departing train?

It was at that very point that I realised I had probably covered the territory needed to begin my homeward journey at a much faster clip than half of the Demon team were going in the third and final quarters of their game against the Bulldogs. And readers might want to note that I have not spent the last four and a half months of my existence in full time and highly paid training for the occasion!

Once I was safely ensconced inside the carriage and had recovered my breath and composure, I turned my attention to my mobile phone. This time I was wondering whether I was the lucky winner of one of the cash prizes offered in a pre match promotion by the Western Bulldogs' new $300,000 corporate sponsor Ezybonds.

After last week's debacle at the hands of Carlton, a number of my usual game day companions have already given up the ghost and soon after I arrived at the ground, I was up on Level 3 all by myself and bored with my own company, when the Ezybonds promotion came up on the Telstra Dome screen.

All you had to do was send an SMS with the word EZY to a specified number and you were eligible for prize money of up to $1,000 at the end of the game.

So I'm back in the train sitting there desolately as it snakes its way into Richmond Station and I'm waiting for the message to light up my mobile phone to tell me that I was to achieve some consolation from a horrible day:

"Congratulations, you've won!"

Alas, the message never came.

Indeed, by the time we were whizzing through Hawksburn Station (thankfully it was an express South Yarra to Malvern), I realised that the appropriate message for myself personally and for my football team was:

"Tough luck, you've lost!"

In the event, no message ever came, so I recalled the written word on my phone screen and by this time the emotion of the afternoon was clearly overcoming me. I read the message backwards and it said,

"YZE"

I was in the twilight zone as we went through Armadale Station but by the time we stopped at Malvern I had a question on my lips:

"What about YZE?"

And then I asked about White and Neitz and the other more experienced players in the Melbourne team and then I asked myself one of the key questions about the events of the past seven days:

"Where were our experienced leaders?"

I don't have all of the answers to that question but one of our experienced leaders is playing for Sandringham today and if the selection panel are going to be honest with their players, their team, the club and the supporters another one of those leaders should join him next week – he whose name is an anagram of the Bulldog sponsor – consecutive games record notwithstanding. And for the record, I was one of his staunchest supporters when he was down on form in late 2005.

It's for the good of the club that young blood is introduced in the form of players like Matthew Bate and Nathan Jones (and our former Rising Star should get some consideration as well!)

And introducing new blood is not a sign that you're about to surrender the season; it's a way of looking forward and seeking a practical result to the team's lack of run and paucity of spirit and purpose. Both Bate and Jones are super fit and can be relied on, at least to chase their opponents and show some enthusiasm.

There are of course many more difficult questions to ask about the Melbourne Football Club than matters of fitness and leadership. Yesterday, the midfield was on top early allowing the team a lead of up to 20 points in the first half – a lead that could have been greater had Neitz, Bruce and Colin Sylvia not messed up with their set shots for goal. But after the main break, the Bulldogs won the ball out of the centre with consummate ease notwithstanding the fact that Jeff White got his hands to the ball as often as not in the centre bounces. There was little or no grunt in the centre clearance duels, nor was there much evidence of skills or ability to get the ball out cleanly as the Doggies invariably did time and again. And the disposal by hand and by foot – everywhere including in front of goal – was abysmal. Which leads me to ask what have these blokes been doing over the pre-season?

Which leads me further to ask about the match day coaching which has been awful. I know you can't blame the coach for everything and it's not him who's out there on the ground but surely someone must be responsible for the team's pathological need to go wide so often. What happened to the concept of controlling the corridor?

I'll make special mention of Cameron Bruce and Colin Sylvia for their sterling efforts all day. Clint "Junkyard Dog" Bartram, the youngest player in the team, stuck doggedly (no pun intended) to his task and, as for the rest, they were a bit like yours truly at Southern Cross Station – on the wrong platform!

There's not much more to say about yesterday's game beyond that.

Melbourne 5.5.35 8.9.57 11.11.77 12.18.90

Western Bulldogs 2.5.17 6.8.44 15.13.103 20.17.137

Goals Robertson 3 Bruce Carroll Davey Green Jamar Moloney Neitz Sylvia White

Best Bruce Sylvia

Injury Ferguson (ribs, lung).

Report - Hargrave Western Bulldogs (reported by umpire D Goldspink for allegedly striking McDonald in the second quarter).

Umpires Stevic Jeffery Goldspink

Crowd 28,478 at Telstra Dome