Red and Bluebeard

I am partial to 'Indiana' for Nathan Jones. He can dig the ball put of anywhere ... :-)

And here's me thinking this was a thread about either an irish band or an obscure single malt ...

From Kennett's latest froth about Adelaide: "It staggers belief". Sure does ...

I agree -- as an expression, 'bounce down' is a balls up ..

Flower, for mine. And if I could do a second clone, I would clone him again. And for a third, a toss-up between Barassi and the Ox of 1994. One of the most remarkable things about Flower was the little things he did, and his consistency in doing them. I remember an old photo of Flower shepherding for someone, and Robbie looked like a stick holding back a beach ball. Nowadays he would be a lot better protected, but in the 70's and 80's he was often injured because of his light build. Yet he never whinged, and kept coming back and doing the team things over and over again. How Peter Moore finished ahead of him in the 1984 Brownlow will remain forever one of life's great mysteries (and injustices, IMHO).

What has she done now? Overspent on clothes again? :-)

I reckon it is 'Chunk' for the Charlie in 2014, and when he wins it, we will have to rename him 'Indiana', or perhaps 'Acky'...

I've just calculated North's percentage after their win over GWS as 112.49. That puts them marginally ahead of Freo's which is 112.36. I think that means that as long as Freo win, the margin won't matter.

I bet he does --- Eddie will kill him! http://www.theage.com.au/afl/afl-news/mcguire-fears-for-micks-health-20120830-252np.html

The window would want to be WIDE open ... :-)

To pick nits, Lincoln was doing the 19th century equivalent of 'retweeting' Jesus ... More on the topic, another good Churchill quote, not irrevelant to this thread: "Never give in, never give in, never; never; never; never -- in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense" and another: "Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm"

How about Trengove to kick the winning goal after the siren on the Queen's Birthday? After all, the only thing better than beating Collingwood by 2 points is beating them by 1 point ...

RIP Big Jimmy, one of life's gentlemen. My thoughts and prayers are with Sam & the family and friends, for what will be a tough time until the funeral, and afterwards, for that matter. "Should auld acquaintance be forgot? Keep your eye on the red and the blue!"

Thanks, Cam. Always good to hear from those in the know.

Blindsided is right --- fair dinkum, you couldn't make this stuff up if you tried! One coach, being chased by MFC but not interested, presides over a final in which his side loses, and the coach admits being unprepared for the game (did he tank? :-). This coach then picks the Freo coach's pocket, gets Mark Harvey sacked and has himself appointed within hours, for what I think is a record wage. To top it all off, he does this all himself, behind his own management's back, who crack it and dump him. All that is needed now is a scandal involving a couple of Freo players, some tensions during pre-season training and a few early-season losses for the Dockers, and it becomes a full-blown opera ... :-)

I like a line I heard from Stephen Fry not long ago, along the lines that when writers want to tell the truth, they write fiction; when they want to tell a story, they write non-fiction.

Interesting point, actually --- why aren't there many movies about footy? The only ones I can think of are `The Club' and `And the Big Men Fly', both considerably dated.

Thanks. That is the basic appeal of footy in many ways, dreaming of what might be ...

I did say it was a dream ...

I like your idea (particularly Jurrah kicking ten), but I also liked the symmetry of reversing the order of the past three weeks, and (perhaps showing my age) finishing up with a win over the Magpies. I have also had the dream about 2012, and 2013, leading onto the Dees being the first team to win five in a row .... Compared to that, the actual footy can sometimes be a bore!

On leave, actually, which is probably the only time I would get time to think of this sort of stuff. Maybe that is a good thing ...

That's the thing about dreams --- they can start off grounded in reality and fly away to whatever improbable nonsense you like ...

Thanks. If only indeed!

It was a lot of fun, and the more it diverged from reality, the more fun it was!

Lets suspend disbelief for a moment, and imagine that Sydney, Fremantle and North Melbourne all 'do a Bradbury', the Demons defy form and beat Richmond, Gold Coast and Port, and sneak into the finals. Now dream on ... In the elimination final against West Coast in Perth, the Demons come out firing, but are inaccurate in front of goals. This results in the more efficient Eagles having less inside 50s, but being in front by seven points at half time. Having recovered from the shock of still being in the game in the third quarter, Melbourne manage to snatch the lead via a hanger from Howe and a snap from Jurrah. However, a dodgy free to Le Cras and a blatant unpenalised pushout from Lynch result in the Eagles keeping the lead at the last change. In the final term, Natanui attempts a blind turn around Watts, but is caught and pinged, and the resulting forward thrust ends up in a pack-splitting mark to Trengove, whose goal puts the Demons only four points behind. In the final arm-wrestling moments, a disputed mark is paid to Petterd over McGinnity in the centre of the ground. McGinnity argues with the umpire, Petterd remonstrates with McGinnity, and McGinnity flattens Petterd. The resulting fifty metre penalty results in a goal after the siren to the Dees, who win by two points (thus replicating the result of the 1988 elimination final, and avenging the devastating loss in the prelimiary final in 1994). The next week the Demons play Carlton (who were thumped by the Pies). At the opening bounce, Judd gets the ball but is crunched simultaneously by Beamer, McKenzie and Jamar, goes off injured and takes no further part in the game. The Blues fire up after the loss of their best player, but the game degenerates into a dour struggle, and Carlton lead a low-scoring game by ten points at half-time. Soon after the resumption, Tapscott's crunch on Warnock in a marking contest, and Trengove's signature sling-tackle on Murphy inspire the Dees to a level of one-on-one accountability not seen yet this season. A long running goal to Watts, and a hanger from Howe over Jurrah give the Dees the lead at the last change for the first time in living memory. With supporters of both clubs shocked into silence by this turn of events, the Demon fans find their voice first when Jurrah takes an avenging hanger over Howe, Sylvia boots a goal from 60m out and Jamar sneaks one through from a set shot in the goal square. The Demons finish full of running, Howe and Jurrah take a joint hanger and Garlett is reported for demonstrative dissent as Melbourne run out winners by 22 points (repeating the result of the 1988 preliminary final, but not quite matching the 27 point victory in the 1994 qualifying final). The AFL community spend three days in shock after realising the Demons have made it to the final four, but they are drawn out of their coma by the thought that their next opponent is Geelong, who have had a week off after thrashing Hawthorn. The $186 price on the Demons before the game looks to be about right as the Cats dominate the first half, keeping the Demons possession-less up to half time, and Geelong lead by an astounding 173 points. As Chris Scott is walking off the ground, he mouths off to Beamer, who pushes him over. Ling runs in but is flattened by McKenzie and an all-in brawl results, involving players, coaches, trainers, officials and water kids. Footage viewed later is inconclusive, but Garry Lyon swears he saw Jimmy Stynes in the thick of it with a headlock on Chris Scott when Todd Viney shirt-fronted the entire Geelong coaching panel, and knocked them all out. In the resulting chaos, the second half is started before the brawl is finished, Geelong have no coaches conscious and the Dees win the quarter convincingly 27.14 to 0.3 to even up the score at three-quarter time. Somehow a high-quality close game breaks out in the final term, with the teams going goal-for-goal up to the final minute. Johnson, rushing to avoid a Trengove tackle, falls over as he kicks the ball, which rebounds off Scarlett's bum into Scully's hands, who goes for a long dash down the member's wing and has a shot from outside 50. This is bouncing towards goal, being shepherded by Jurrah, only for it to bounce high up in the air before it crosses the line. In an instictive move that stuns the crowd, Jurrah spins in an instant and bicycle-kicks the winning goal. The match review panel found Trengove's actions to be reckless, high impact and involving head contact, but as they couldn't say when this occurred or who the other parties were, he got off on a technicality. The AFL investigation into the all-in brawl concluded that no reportable offences had occurred. This sets up a classic Grand Final of Melbourne versus Collingwood, who easily accounted for Hawthorn in the other preliminary final. In the opening minutes, Maxwell, newly returned from injury, attempts to crunch Watts as he takes possession, only to miss and re-injure his hand as he strikes the turf. The traditional first-quarter melee occurs at the 15-minute mark, in which Beamer and Didak box on toe-to-toe, Frawley rips Dawes's jumper and Jamar sits Cloke on his bum. Soon after the resumption, a gang tackle by Trengove, Watts, McKenzie and Beamer on O'Brien ignites another melee, which results in two fifty metre penalties against O'Brien for overly demonstrative hair and a goal to Howe. The Dees' precise kicking is making inroads into Collingwood's press, but the better teamwork and cleaner possession of the Pies see them gradually take control and lead by 27 points at the final change. Most pundits think this spells the beginning of the end, until a Demon supporter dresses up as Joffa, infiltrates the Collingwood cheer squad, and demonstratively pretends to put on Joffa's gold jacket. This infuriates the Demons so much that Davey chases Swan for 60m and successfully tackles him, Sylvia gives four goal assists in a row and Bennell single-handedly flattens the entire Collingwood forward six in a marking contest. The younger legs of the Dees start to have an effect as the Pies tire, but an unbelievable snap from Didak puts Collingwood one point up with two minutes to go. The Pies swamp the ball to force bounce after bounce until Scully bursts out of a pack, handballs to Watts who sends a high floating kick up into the goal square, where it is marked by Petterd, who plays on and kicks the goal just before the siren. Malthouse has a meltdown on the Collingwood bench, single-handedly destroys the coaching box, gives Buckley the finger and moons Eddie McGuire on his way out the door. Todd Viney retires as coach with an unsurpassable record as the only premiership coach to have been in charge for only nine games. Todd is later canonised (no mean feat for a Demon ) Okay, so I am a platinum-plated idiot, but I can dream, can't I?