Bitter but optimistic

Arrgh Biffen - back from the dead apparently! Rumour has it that as a result of the Gat closing you are opening a house of ill repute new business venture near a major regional centre. Is this true? Could you possibly survive the aroma of gum trees?

Looking for fresh meat dc?

I suppose we have a bit in common Ernie - attracted the sheilas, adventurers, second rate writers - but at least I haven't topped myself!!

Well I don't want to disclose my choice of outfit as there are petty souls out there who will rush of to imitate me. However, dare I ask Mable Mable ,will you be wearing traditional Cameroonian attire? It is rather fetching I must say!

You're getting sillier and sillier picket!!

I'm quite disappointed that my shirt didn't arrive today as I'd been preparing my false personas for Saturday.

Incorrect Choke! I am simply an overgenerous soul who just goes out of his way to help others out but is often taken advantage of. PS. Yes I am very rich but I am quite modest about having a lavish property and driving a simple Merc.

While many appear to be having their bit of fun at their Uncle's expense I have been (fruitlessly) trying to track down Biffen - the most immoderate of all. I allowed him to borrow some ..err ..specialist equipment of mine which has not been returned as agreed. He has subsequently boldly informed all that he attended a teenagers birthday party. Now put those two facts together and you can see the urgency of my search. Please have him contact me immediately. BTW. Who is attending on Saturday?

I am afraid that the world is driving me to an existence where one is rarely sober.

You are a national treasure Mable. I hope the people of your native Cameroon recognise this!

Well good evening one and all. As usual today finds your Uncle Bitter in a positive mood and fine spirits. I hope you all are as satisfied with the world as myself. I had a very uplifting morning at the Romsey Bible reading class ( The Lads booked me in) and I must say I feel cleansed and renewed! I must add though, that, as an upright citizen of this fine board, I am surprised that some of my recent well meaning and informative posts have been either deleted or censored!! Apparently there are Philistines and vandals among our fair number.

Could be fun!! I've ordered one and if people ask who I am I'll give a false name and insult them - Can't wait!!!!

You talking sex again picket? Well I agree, Jane has a nice Bunn.

And .. just before I depart - you're a dirty [censored] too picket.

Anyway you [censored]! We now have a respectable sheila on this thread. Mable is from Peru or somewhere so I want all you [censored] to cut out the [censored] vulgarity and behave. Especially you [censored] lawyer [censored]. And as for that pervert from Hopping dicks - ban him. Get rid of that shitty writer too. And Earl Hood, well nothing personal but just stick to Conchita. DC and Biffen are also [censored] - as is Moonie. And [censored] the choir boy too. I wont insult od because I live in hope of a free Pino. Good night!!

I'm just about done in. A few of Biffen's inane drug [censored] comments would just about finish me. Talking to a dead writer does that to you. Actually it's very like having a discussion with Stuie.

And another thing Ernie - I didn't like your cookbooks. Grapes are for vino, nothing else. And .... as for sardines ... FMD ... you can stick them. Call yourself a writer .... FMD.

Is that what the bluerinsers use when they're gasping for breath dc?

Is that what the bluerinsers use when they're gasping for breath dc?

No need to show off by talkin Esperanto Ernie!

Ha ha very funny Ernie - you smart dead bastard!!

Someone invited you to a party?

Now listen to me Ernie! You put the boots into me recently by suggesting I was some sort of pervert so don't go sanctimonious on me for linking you with lawyers. Although in all honesty I suppose it is preferable to be named a pervert than a lawyer. Or even a dead rather than a lawyer. Now as to Redtube. I could proffer an explanation and no doubt Biffen could offer a different bent. So, let us combine bent and lawyer ( hardly necessary I know) and let me suggest you direct this question to Redleg

Yes fair point dc. I'd forgotten your prey would be confined to their Residential Care Facilities on chilly evenings.