Bitter but optimistic

I know a lot of old bastards post here so I'm looking for some info. Is it still possible to buy old style desert boots? ( Brothel creepers in some circles) Poor old Uncle Bitter is a tad footsore of late and I used to find these rather comfortable. I don't think they'll clash with estate moleskins and Drizabone - I'm going for a more macho look (sans designer stubble of course) at the moment.

Just woke from a Shiraz induced coma in urgent need of putting out the fire. Drinking water FMD! Someone please tell me I had a football nightmare and we really didn't lose the unlosable! PLEASE

I'm going to find a stronger drink! Correct Mable but I expect it's the same in Cabo Verde!

Good god Stu!!! You didn't get hijacked on a trip to Damascus did you?

Well I expect OD will return to his pessimistic ways after today's shitfest. The only good thing about today was that I withdrew at the last moment. Let me rephrase that. I was unable to attend to due to a late change of circumstance. So I am getting [censored] on a better quality vino than I would otherwise. Plus I am not having to put up with Biffen's drugtaking. BTW. What's this I hear about Stuie and Moonie having drinkies together. Oh yes here's an odd one. I was the recipient of some road rage from a bikie today. He pulled up next to me and threatened to "put a bullet between (my) eyes". The world's full of f...wits. Anyway, toodle pip all - it's back to the Shiraz for Uncle Bitters. Oh yes, because Essendon won, I did promise to give the squeeze " a jolly good flogging". However, I think I'll just [censored] myself and consider what ill luck caused me to be a Demon's supporter. Ron Barassi has a lot to answer for!

My say I look rather fetching in my new shirt although it appears to be an odd shape as it is very tight around my 12 pack.

Do the old sows like it when you talk pig german dc?

You learning that Esperanto [censored] off Hemingway dc?

Oh ... and just to add to any confusion from the conglomeration of posts above, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT listen to Biffen when he gives a "sure thing" tip on the races. Now excuse me while I put my idiot's cap back on and give my ( poorer but wiser) self a jolly good flogging.

Finally recovered from the ....excesses .. excitement of Saturday at the G. Bumped into Biffen pre game and couldn't shake him off so consequently had to put up with his loutish and drunken behavior throughout the afternoon. There were good looking sheilas nearby and your old Uncle might have struck up a conversation were it not for my immediate company. Anyway, as if sensing my discomfort, Biffen proposed a post game celebratory drink and offered to shout. (That is, shout something other than obscenities). We decamped to an absolute dump of a pub where Biffen purchased a bottle of horse [censored] that had apparently been mislabeled as Shiraz. Well I had to reciprocate ..... What has my life become .................?

FMD!!! If you are that old picket you should be dead. Doesn't matter though, Hemingway is dead and he still posts. DC has relations with the almost dead and he still posts. Moonie is brain dead and he still posts. Biffen is morally dead and he still posts. Lawyers are ethically dead and they still post. I'm getting depressed and must retire for the night.

MMmm, I suspected you were the type who would be into dolls picket. (Not that I have any moral objections to that you understand)

You are a shameless cad dc!

BTW Biff. All debts will be revoked if you send me pics from the teenage birthday party.

Arrgh Biffen - back from the dead apparently! Rumour has it that as a result of the Gat closing you are opening a house of ill repute new business venture near a major regional centre. Is this true? Could you possibly survive the aroma of gum trees?

Looking for fresh meat dc?

I suppose we have a bit in common Ernie - attracted the sheilas, adventurers, second rate writers - but at least I haven't topped myself!!

Well I don't want to disclose my choice of outfit as there are petty souls out there who will rush of to imitate me. However, dare I ask Mable Mable ,will you be wearing traditional Cameroonian attire? It is rather fetching I must say!

You're getting sillier and sillier picket!!

I'm quite disappointed that my shirt didn't arrive today as I'd been preparing my false personas for Saturday.

Incorrect Choke! I am simply an overgenerous soul who just goes out of his way to help others out but is often taken advantage of. PS. Yes I am very rich but I am quite modest about having a lavish property and driving a simple Merc.

While many appear to be having their bit of fun at their Uncle's expense I have been (fruitlessly) trying to track down Biffen - the most immoderate of all. I allowed him to borrow some ..err ..specialist equipment of mine which has not been returned as agreed. He has subsequently boldly informed all that he attended a teenagers birthday party. Now put those two facts together and you can see the urgency of my search. Please have him contact me immediately. BTW. Who is attending on Saturday?

I am afraid that the world is driving me to an existence where one is rarely sober.

You are a national treasure Mable. I hope the people of your native Cameroon recognise this!

Well good evening one and all. As usual today finds your Uncle Bitter in a positive mood and fine spirits. I hope you all are as satisfied with the world as myself. I had a very uplifting morning at the Romsey Bible reading class ( The Lads booked me in) and I must say I feel cleansed and renewed! I must add though, that, as an upright citizen of this fine board, I am surprised that some of my recent well meaning and informative posts have been either deleted or censored!! Apparently there are Philistines and vandals among our fair number.