Little Goffy

I'm going to go out on a limb at 3/4 time against Gold Coast and suggest that not having a single score or mark inside 50 from anyone over 190cm (except a behind from Gawn) might be a problem. Looking a little more closely, we don't even have any score involvements from tall forwards. Gawn has 4, May and McDonald 2 each. That's it for over 190cm. Ah, a quick correction - the Chandler goal means Van Rooyen now has 2 score involvements. Yes, I feel like this may be an issue.

Horrible sensation that those few minutes of looking a little better, followed by punishment on the scoreboard, could crack the dam. Only other possibility is we get some rage going. (not in the eat-your-babies way Demonland gets rage going)

We finally show a little bit of a spark and the umpires put an f'n bell jar over it.

ffs Just tape my mouth shut.

Feeling good about this one. I can't afford Kayo/Fox footy so I can't watch the game. Pretty sure that means we win. I'm particularly expecting a whole lot of those small moments of effort and cleverness which turn a game but will never feature in the highlights tapes. Today has a Xavier Lindsay vibe.

Sun Tzu also expressed the same sentiment. He was actually quite the footy fan. Real quote, not kidding, and I can provide evidence to support this if challenged; "The side which gains the most points wins"

Hit the post. Possibly with both the ball and then myself. In fact, yeah, my two options would be hit the post or slip during the kick and not even make the distance.

They also have a few players with a Master o farts. But no Ph.Ds. Guess why? They can't spell it.

Will be fun to see who is left by round 19 against the giants. But, hey, you never know, the Bombers have been on the cusp of a big upswing for about 13 years...

That'd be a basherer degree, yah?

Really hard to know what to expect from Gold Coast. They've had such a strange preparation. First they had their opening round game postponed. Then they traveled to Perth only to have their opponents forfeit on arrival. And now they're coming off a bye.

Okay, full credit to Bailey Scott, astrophysics is pretty tricky stuff. I gave it a try but all my comets smacked into Jupiter and my contract didn't get renewed. Good to see anthropology isn't dead, too. I think I might have to like this Lawson Humpries kid; "Uni isn't necessarily hard, but it's something I might not want to do all the time, and it's good I have to still do it and force myself to do something I might not want to. We're pretty lucky as AFL players, we have a pretty good run, so it's important to do other things." With Humpries' Anthropology and then Barass being the only one studying Philopsophy, I wonder if there is some special link between the humanities and defenders? I guess it does take a certain deeper perspective.

These days they like to use 'developed' and 'developing' nations. They don't have a term for 'going backwards at a rate of knots' nations. Another popular one is 'NICs'; Newly industrialised countries, which is a blanket term for countries which have added industrial capacity by underbidding developed country industry thanks to shooting anyone who asks for a pay rise and not minding if their is heavy metals waste in the mains water. Basically 'growing GDP, no civil society'. An old one from 'Yes, Prime Minister', is of course TLPACs. 'Tin-pot little African country'. Never caught on in the mainstream, for some reason.

Yep, on a PC, a pretty compact laptop. I don't actually think there is any design or format problem and I'm pretty sure I'll adjust within days. Nothing more to my comment than wanting a couple of extra cms in the middle where the main action is. (That's what she said.)

Everything has gone vertical. Freaking me out. I'm going to make one practical suggestion, which I understand might be an absolute shirt-sew to adjust, but having a slightly wider text space in the threads would reduce scrolling a bit. If the centre panel can be widened just a little, or maybe the profile images in posts adjusted so there isn't as much blank space along the left side. But these are quibbles and tweaks. I thought it was a nice update. It was a nice update, I thought. I bet it looks super snazzy on mobile.

That or getting Essendon's soft frees. Either would get the job done! So far Port have been a little bit lucky that Essendon are the footballing equivalent of a tepid bath.

I had this game flickering in the background and thought I was basically impartial, but then Port kicked a goal after Essendon had held the ball in their forward line for most of the game for just two behinds, and I swear the laugh that came out of me was somewhere between Nelson from the Simpsons and Emperor Palpatine. Guess I'm not quite impartial.

See, that is what people are asking for when they complain that Goodwin's interviews are just talk and don't share any plans of how we're going to turn things around. (ducks for cover)

To do what with it, exactly? Look. Just look... and be silent. https://www.google.com/maps/@-37.9252021,145.188542,3a,75y,93.27h,82.76t/data=!3m8!1e1!3m6!1sAF1QipMweE_SzF8FBEJ0D4VrBZ_TadKvDa66p-OANMdx!2e10!3e11!6shttps:%2F%2Flh3.googleusercontent.com%2Fp%2FAF1QipMweE_SzF8FBEJ0D4VrBZ_TadKvDa66p-OANMdx%3Dw900-h600-k-no-pi7.23781784686372-ya203.26877647104587-ro0-fo100!7i8704!8i4352?entry=ttu&g_ep=EgoyMDI1MDMyNC4wIKXMDSoASAFQAw%3D%3D

Strange this thread transitioned from bananas to racehorses. The closest thing to a crossover I can think of is MarioKart.

Hee heee heeee haw haw haw. I finally twigged this morning when Simon Goodwin once again went out if his way to admit he overdid it mentioning Gawn's off-field strain. We had a ten goal loss against a comparatively low-rated team on the weekend and four days later the media lead is still "Does Goodwin love his Captain too much?" F'n genius 5-D chess media management. Hilarious stuff. And here we all are playing our part, kicking up a stink like we're back at the old banana tariff protests.

So, can there be a general round of 'ayes' for, at the very least, playing Fritsch one-out in the goalsquare? Nobody, literally nobody, can reliably beat him in a one on one contest with three seconds of time to pick the lock.

Can't get excited about any of those. They all peaked within their first two seasons, Hinkley's teams choked in finals and Longmire's teams choked in Grand finals, and Simpson left the Eagles in the worst condition of any club since 2013.

Jesus Christ he's literally just summarising bigfooty rants at high speed.

Here's something lighter to distract ourselves with. My sister-in-law (from Vietnam) has been practising her English with me in afternoon video calls recently, and, would you believe it, somehow, mysteriously and to the whole world's surprise, I ended up raving about how Australian football is the greatest sport in the world and all that. It was actually really refreshing because in a second-language conversation like that you're never going to start talking about all the garbage meta-game and politics and irritating rule tweaks - it was a conversation about the purest joy of our insane game. I recommend the experience. Anyway. The point. She did a really good job of pretending to be interested so I promised I'd share some material that would help her understand what the hell this game is, how it goes and why it is so glorious. So, this thread is a call out to share links and whatever else you've got that can be offered to support the claim that Australian football is the greatest. Or, at least, help someone grasp what it is. Anyway, the obvious thing to include is of course the moment Australian football achieved perfection.