Mazer Rackham

Do the umps know how far 15 metres is? (he asked, knowing the answer anyway)

In the latest version of the rules I can find (2019), there is no mention of anything to do with this. Closest is this: 17.5.2 Free Kicks - Marking Contests A field Umpire shall award a Free Kick in a Marking contest against a Player where the Player: (a) pushes or bumps an opposition Player in the back, unless such contact is incidental to the Marking contest and the Player is legitimately Marking, attempting to Mark or spoil the football; (b) holds or blocks an opposition Player; (c) unduly pushes or bumps an opposition Player; (d) deliberately interferes with the arms of an opposition Player; (e) makes Prohibited Contact with an opposition Player; or (f) engages in Rough Conduct against an opposition Player. Probably part (c) is the applicable section, but of course we have seen "unrealistic attempt" paid even when there is no undue push or bump. It's "the vibe". Which does not actually surprise, the umps have not umpired to the rules book for years, but have umpired according to whatever vibe is put out by the umpires director of the day, none of whom appear to know/have known the rules. Gieschen, Schwab, Campbell, Hocking ... not one of them appear to have read the rules they are/were supposedly in charge of ("natural arc", anyone?), nor do they seem to care other than that there is some kind of attractive style of football (also not defined) that they want the umps to fit in with and encourage. No wonder the game is in a mess.

When Fagan left, many thought that the moderating influence on Clarko was also walking out the door. Easy to be calm cool and collected when things are going your way. Let's see how solo Clarko responds to the ultimate failure in football = LOSING

Asst coach: "will we put a second-best team up against the Lions this week, boss?" Goodwin: "Yes, of c-- ... no ... no ... (looks off into distance) ... that's just what they'll be expecting."

We have a talented list, the most such in many a year, but the missing ingredient is the inner toughness as a group to win week in and week out. (It wasn't very long ago that 3 wins in a row was a monumental achievement. Three entire wins!) Not even the Northey era (short on talent but long on G&D) could manage that. Key losses at important times. Daniher era, entire seasons went missing. I want to see an MFC side that squeezes the life out of the oppo week after week, home or away, rain hail or shine, like the great Swans sides, Bears of '01-'03, or (shudder) Hawks.

That, and was it our win in 2017 (or 2016?) which stopped them getting the double chance and they were bundled out of the finals in straight sets. So we have performed some valuable service to the game of Aussie Rules.

He's one of those guys where you think "thank god, he will know what to do with it" Oliver another. (Execution doesn't always match the promise, but his football brain is something to have faith in) Now Tracc. I now trust him to attempt the right thing. Gus going the other way: "oh no!"

1988 GF "merger" game There's a long list of kickings handed out by them that we still have to pay them back for

Mostly, they're footy tragics who over time pick up a fair bit here and there from hanging around AFL footy clubs. But they remain footy tragics and most footy forums have knowledgeable contributors who would run rings around them.

Poor old Trenners suffered from some fake machismo, was told to drink a cup of concrete and play on his sore foot, which wrecked it utterly. Captain has to set an example. A career ruined from the moment he was made captain.

Bigfooty Hawks forum, game day thread. Every second post is a from Hawk supporter gnashing their teeth that they're kicking it to Gawn. Some openly doubting the supercoach.

"Woooh .. more COVID cases in Melbourne today ... looks like we'll be roomies for a few more weeks yet, eh?"

When he kicked that goal, I wondered what his parents must be thinking. The look on the kid's face! (I'm of that vintage)

Days when demonland is slow to load are good days

Tommy had better hope that May or Lever get injured.

This Weideman kid ... a bit of a find. Snuck under the radar, was he elevated off the rookie list?

Uncanny accuracy. It's either the luck of the Irish, or the kid knows his football Whereas this chump can't even get the margin right (But feel free to keep drinking, please)

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This fits quite well to the tune of "Roxanne" (Police). ♪ Go Dees. You don't have to bomb inside 50. ♪ Gooooooooooooo Dees. You don't have to bomb inside 50. ♫

I suppose in this strange season, it has to be this way. What a cutthroat competition this is. Looking forward to getting back to normal.

I have not been listening to commentary and generally don't, but if they're doing that, they've lost sight of what their job is. Barracking for teams, barracking for players, barracking for certain outcomes .... call the play and let the audience do the barracking! Roaming F-wit and his ilk clearly think they are the entertainment, and have to step in when the game isn't up to their (or their producers) expectations. This can be traced back to Rex Hunt, who when he started, was certainly something different and entertaining. As the years went by, he got lazy and indulgent and relied on a few circus tricks for the simple-minded. By the end, he and his gang had lost it completely (while thinking the whole time they were King Richard) ... listening to them on the radio, you had absolutely no idea what was going on on the ground ... not even the score. They were the show and the game was just the stage for them to perform on. Around the same time, along comes Mr Everywhere, with his impeccable instinct for media (lately proved to be a bit shabby). I recall Garry Lyon once saying he was in the box with Eddie and Brereton, and the game had just been decided, and Eddie turned around and gave them a razz and let them know they had to keep the excitement level up. Lyon took this as a lesson in good commentary, but I take it as a lesson in fakery which has led us to a place where the TV stations think we need Roaming F-wit and his "gee wowee", and crowd noise piped in to keep our tiny minds doped and happy. Even Bruce has been dragged into the vortex and can't get out. On another note, anything could happen with our friend Rankine. The game needs exciting players right now. But oppo coaches will be watching for weaknesses to exploit. It wouldn't surprise if he suffers some second year blues in his first year. Imagine what Petracca would do if he was left to his own devices by oppo coaches.

You'd think this would have occurred to the TV stations by now. Because they could say to the commentators, "turns out only 50% of viewers listen to the commentary, so you're not as important as we thought, so you, you're taking a pay cut, and you, you're fired." And they could pay some teenager minimum wage to push the button on a crowd sound effect mp3 they downloaded for free. "Audio department? Boss here. You're all fired."

Absolutely right. I can't think of any other game where there are "interpretations". I can think of golf, or squash, where there are descriptions of how to apply the rules in certain situations. But those change very very little over time. And certainly never within a season!

When they wanted to get rid of deliberate out of bounds, WHAM, they clamped down overnight with zero tolerance. Anything slightly resembling deliberate was a free. Problem solved. (Arguable that it was ever that much of a problem.) They should do it with throwing, or "slick handball". Anything which is not clearly a punch from a stationary hand gets called a throw. Yes, some legit handballs will get called, just as some innocent over the boundaries got called deliberate, but the players would adjust within a round. The lack of direction & support given the umpires has caused this mess. They don't know if they're Arthur or Martha. They don't even know what game they're officiating.

These are the hidden costs of being an unfashionable team. Rankine = immediate excitement machine. (Luke Darcy voice:) Aw, gee, you can't award a free kick against an exciting player just because he's given away a free kick! If it was Cyril Rioli, he probably would have been awarded a free against May. For attempted loss of balance. The umps are so compromised in their directions, they barely know what game it is they're refereeing. They may think it's darts. Only way out is to win games and have our own players considered winners and excitement machines.