Mazer Rackham

Coaches meeting, AAMI Park: Goodwin: so … any learnings out of that? Chaplin: yeah … it was bloody quiet out there. I could hear the players and everything Plapp: yeah, I noticed that. Anyone know why? Goodwin: who’s our tactics and research bloke? Get on that for next week. Chaplin: also you couldn’t buy a pie for love or money. I walked around the whole concourse and nuthin! Goodwin: when was that? Chaplin: third quarter Goodwin: yeah ... same thing at half time. Richo? Richardson: one thing I’ve learned in football, it’s to bring your own pies. They can get a bit cold but if you keep them in your pants pocket they’re not too bad. (They all make notes on their laptops and phones: "pies ... pocket") Rooke: can we try to kick more goals somehow? Goodwin: check out the old fashioned football inquest guy! It’s not the sixties any more, Jack! Goals aren’t the modern way. When was the last time a bloke scored 100 goals? Rooke: well … it’s just that I looked at the scoreboard and— Goodwin: well I looked at the stats, sunshine, and if you want to score more, get it inside 50 more. It’s incontrovert … inconter … it’s fair dinkum true. Richardson: before we adjourn, any more learnings anyone picked up? All: (looking at each other in confusion) no … nope ... Goodwin: then it’s settled. More practice at getting it inside 50. The stats don’t lie!

Coaches meeting, AAMI Park: Richardson: The uncontested mark stats from the game are outrageous Goodwin: it shows how impossible it is to get the ball off a side like that. When they're marking it like that. Chaplin: an uncontested mark ... isn't that a free kick to us? God, those umps! Plapp: what can we do when they're playing like that? They’d have to be flag favourites after that. Rooke: it just seems impossible. Everywhere you look, they’ve got the ball! How do they do it? Goodwin: Well the stats don’t lie. It all comes back to my secret plan. Teams with higher scores have more inside fifties. Chaplin: Fifty? I thought you're only allowed 18 on the ground? Oh, you're counting both teams. Goodwin: Jeez Troy ... you should be doing stats too, mate! Yes, inside fifty ... we had them cold for inside fifty ... now here's my idea ... Rooke: kick more goals? Goodwin: getting a bit ahead of yourself there, aren’t you kid? Listen. They only just pipped us but we had it inside fifty more. What if we got it inside fifty EVEN MORE!? All: oh yeah … of course … genius, boss Goodwin: this week, I want all training working on getting it inside fifty. Kick it, punch it, throw it, just get it in there! Whaddya reckon? What about you, Richo? You're all silent at the back. Richardson: the earth is muddy but the Ox lost his radio shift All: what??? Richardson: (winks) I've heard good coaches say that. Or something very much like that. It can't be a coincidence, eh? Strange wise sayings means good coaching. Goodwin: crikey. I knew we got you for a reason! Right, that's it. Homework for everybody: come up with strange wisdom. And increase the bloody inside fifties!!! They all get up and leave Richardson: (to self) I think it was that … the Ox is dumb but the earth … Chaplin: who’s the Ox? Is it Fritter?

Correct, but our skill level is such that when we do make the play, we can't keep clean possession for long enough. We either cough it up under pressure, or cough it up just as a good deed to the oppo.

When we did try it, the kicks were so high they would have hit the Docklands roof, and by the time they came down again, the oppo had gone off for a cup of tea and a lie down, and came back fully refreshed to stand shoulder to shoulder with our no-longer-free player to make a contest.

Struggling to think of these clutch moments. QB, yes ... any others? I can think of several where his limp efforts did us no good at all, in clutch games. He's skilled and talented, and would have helped us today, maybe made the difference, in a low-skill mess of a game against a side well off the boil. But we should be winning such games comfortably, with no need for Watts, if we are to be a finals threat, and Watts was let go because the coaches believed he couldn't stand the heat in the kitchen ... ie, finals. It's easy to overthink the situation and his percentage shot is probably the instinctive one, that he took without hesitation, rather than try to be perfect and then seize up in execution. Fritsch or Hannan probably a better bet, but, they didn't have the pill.

Can anyone remember the last time our brains trust DID "work it out" during a game?

Fill in the blanks: Round __, season 20__ MFC coach outcoached by _______ coach (Hint: there could be more than one answer!)

Not good enough for long enough. When "on" we look capable but time after time the chain of ball movement breaks down before we can get near goal. Oppo can keep it going longer. They score more easy goals to put scoreboard pressure on. We are battling our guts out for every goal. Geelong players have a higher level of skill. Better drilled, better positioning around the ground. And what is with these high hanging kicks around the ground, that take 2 weeks to come down? Defender's dream. What a cluster-**** inside 50. Chaosball is great if defenders are bamboozled and panic. But every team is used to us now, and know to hold tight and squeeze us until we screw up. We oblige. We are not potent up forward. Tommy can't get his hands on the pill. Is something wrong? Injured, mindset? Doesn't matter. He's not doing it. More generally, the game is dull. Such low scoring across the board. Umpires still don't know how far 15 metres is. Numerous Cat attempts on goal (some successful) from short kicks paid as marks. Cats doing the old Dogs thing of not picking the ball up, but falling over on it and scooping it out at the same time. Not ready to say season over yet, but gee ... the most talented squad we've had in years ... Please don't waste it MFC.

When the situation called for a kick, he would handpass. When a handpass was in order, he would kick. He didn't seem to have a good football brain. Not a good starting point fora coach.

Much like another prominent leader frequently in the news, Eddie doesn't "do" apologies. He does bluster and big-noting himself. Come to think of it, why aren't YOU apologising to HIM???

(in Luke Darcy voice:) "But, aw, gee, he wouldn't have meant to break the rules. You can't penalise someone just because they've broken the rules? You can't turn this game into netball. Can you?" (in Slobbo voice:) "Hey Gerard. This is the -- this is the -- let me explain -- let me -- Gerard. It's unfair Gerard. That's what it is. You can't tell me -- YOU CAN'T TELL ME THE AFL NEVER -- THEY CAN'T DO IT GERARD. They can't do it. They just -- it's unfair. If they try to -- IF THEY TRY TO -- you want my honest opinion? My honest opinion? ..... I don't know." (in Gil's head:) "An Essendon player? Nasty precedent. If we send him down, what happens when it's a Collingwood player? Eddie would ...." (trails off & breaks into cold sweat)

Why don't the AFL just get it over with and award EFC the 4 points?

I'm old enough to remember the drug scandal of '12 when the Bummers were allowed access to players from here there and everywhere to top up their playing stocks when they "should have" had to suck up the consequences of their unconscionable misdeeds. I'm even old enough to remember the "lights out" game, EFC v StKFC, cut short by 30 or so minutes when the lights went out just before 3/4 time. At the urging of EFC, the clubs got to pick entirely new teams for the resumption, to play out the remaining minutes. (In 2 halves!) There is no chance the AFL will enact any "should be" or "should have" that goes against the wishes of the EFC.

The AFL have nothing to fear from the mighty MFC. Unfortunately.

It's a bit like when a player like Selwood or Ablett is investigated for striking, and commentators fall over themselves declaring "aw gee, he wouldn't have meant to knock his block off". Then when May does it, it's "he's known for doing this kind of thing!!" Some more Animal Farm for you: everyone is equal but some are more equal. The Dons are more equal than us and the only remedy is to knock their blocks off, repeatedly.

Fair point but the broadcasters need content and (to fulfil their licence) local content. Reruns of Married At First Sight only get you so far.

First one to 50 wins

Does anyone know the name of the team kicking to targets inside 50?

Well now, I could have sworn I quoted that part. No, we certainly don't want extreme points of view, do we?

That was because the gov't realised that being the voice representing Aus to the rest of the world is something that would naturally be congruent to the charter of a national broadcaster. A national broadcaster that the gov't has some form of control over. Rather than a private organisation answerable to an American billionaire who may or may not have the best interests of Australia in mind, or be mindful of presenting a view of Australia to the rest of the world. Such an organisation might actually prioritise maximising profit, and in such an arena, that could possibly end up actually being detrimental of the country it is representing. (Aus gov'ts of all stripes have historically had a hard time standing up to American billionaires with considerable media ownership in Aus.) It's like they suddenly remembered that ...

This is interesting. Sky News is less biased than the ABC. But the HUN is one of the most biased. If I read you correctly. Does Sky News have a little bias, or no bias? If so, to whom or what? I am not going to claim the NYT and the WaPo are not biased. But I am interested in what manner you believe they are biased. To whom or what (or against)? (Also: Fox News is biased, and Sky News is not?)

No fake crowd noise?

Not on racism. Mostly just being a flake.

What chance has he got when Goodes, who is not a flake nor a stirrer, got the reception he did? Unfortunately HL is a bit like the boy who cried wolf, and it becomes easy for people to dismiss his claims. If Goodes had no cut-through, HL has absolutely no chance.

I don't know what web site you think you're on, but this one is a fan forum for the Melbourne football club.