Mazer Rackham

As an example: 1.1 DEFINITIONS ... Attacking Team: the Team where the football is in their forward half of the Playing Surface. Apart from being dreadful English, nowhere is it defined what "forward half" means, or "forward" or even "half". Okay, we all know what it means but that's organically acquired knowledge. If you're setting up a league in Denmark or Japan, what are you supposed to make of these sloppily-worded rules? The official laws of the game are jam packed with such instances. They have in fact tightened up considerably in certain areas, and always because of controversy, eg. the "Buddy natural arc", that game in Sydney where Rampe (I think) climbed on the goal post. One game between Richmond and GWS ... did Dusty play on or didn't he? The rules seem to be written by or people who "know" from schoolyard or community footy what the rule "is", but a lawyer could drive a truck through it.

We do share with soccer & RL and are lucky that we do because the govt coughed up for a modern gym and other luxuries. But it's a two edged sword and we are not the lords of our domain. More like tenants in a share house. It's not possible to get upgraded training facilities without it being an exercise in inclusivity. The other clubs have been very clever in saying "oh no ... WE don't want upgraded facilities. This is for the kids, the women, the local plebs who hate football, everyone ... oh, okay, I suppose we will get some benefit ourselves ... but we're the last people we're thinking of ..." It's very hard to say "we're a men's AFL team and we want better training facilities on your $ ... in leafy inner Melbourne where there's bugger-all space ... yeah, cut down a few trees while we're at it ..." Doesn't fly. Caulfield is our best bet, because of all the box-ticking sports grounds, facilities, etc etc, that we just coincidentally benefit from, and hopefully with us as boss dog.

He thought it appropriate to just sit himself down next to a Melbourne supporter? Just like that? Those [censored] Cats. Anyway ... the correct response to his question is "No ... what happened? ... what, in the last few seconds? ... You mean that guy only had to watch the ball go out of bounds and the game would have been over, but he gave away a 50 metre penalty?"

Some choice elements from bomber**itz. Some surprisingly reasonable comments but it could be that they're deranged from all the beatings. If they get on a winning streak (a real one) then look out. Port fans would rather see us win than Melbourne, I’m predicting. Especially after they (Port) have owned us in recent years and Melbourne would be more of a rival when it comes to spots in the top 8/top 4 this season. And I know we weren’t that impressive today against GWS but Melbourne haven’t looked too intimidating against a third of a West Coast Eagles side. I reckon neutral fans from most teams would hate us. Haha. Lets be real, you have to pick the most competitive team against Melbourne. Jones won’t work against May, he’ll be destroyed by their defenders and the structure will fall down. Best bet is to get Voss in to crash and bash and provide a physical presence. Heppell was OK but against Melbourne he’ll get wrecked. Hobbs and Snelling will provide more than both those will. Scores from stoppages needs working on still, today that was glaring but against Melbourne whole new level 10 goal loss coming up then. Nothing surer I want voss in just to run through steven may. They have gotten us by 5 goals and 2 goals the last two time we have met em. This time around they will have travelled perth-melbourne-adelaide in a week and we are playing much better footy. Reckon yes they beat us most days. Just think the stars might align for us. We are a chance Our smaller backline will go ok against the dees forwards theres much worse matchups for us to contend with in other sides We are finding goals from different avenues. You never know eh. The message all week should be dont let these ■■■■■■ get a 5 goal head start. Of course we are a chance, but we have had the easiest draw in the comp so far, and when we played a half decent team in the saints…we lost. I think we could stay with them for a qtr or so, but then they’ll over power us. Setterfield / Oliver and Caldwell / Viney I cannot wait to see the above match-ups in the middle. It would go a long way to us winning if Shiel finds some inner brute and runs with Trac when he needs to, Kelly to take him in D50. They rotate their mids hard and if we run the above rotation on their first choice mids then I rate Parish/Merrett against their second stringers. Is Pickett back in the side this week? He’s the sort of player that would wreck us. Not too concerned about McDonald as Bezerker will shut him down, Fritch will kick his couple, but if we can work over Grundy and do a somewhat decent job of nullifying Oliver we can win this. I’m optimistic about this week, I can’t see us losing by more than 40 points. Good chance to pinch this one if wet, our small forwards are dangerous, in good supply and would be hard to stop if pill on the ground a lot. Weid out , so bring in Snelling or Hobbs me thinks We need fwds who will lead agaist melbourne. Lever and may will distroy us if we bomb it in like we have been. If it’s wet that will be good for our forwards, lever and may won’t have as much impact i’d think and davey, menzie, perkins and the rest can get their hands dirty. Personnel will be important but sticking to the plan, and keeping Lever and May honest are priorities. History, as with the majority of games coming up, are against the rebuilding Dons. Only beaten the Dees once in the last 5. Essendon will be hard pressed to win 1 or 2 games over the next 6 given the weight of history against them. If the forecast stays true then I am taking out a mortgage on Friday arvo and putting every cent on the dees at $1.25. They are a well drilled, hard working, contested ball-strong team. We haven’t been able to play good wet weather footy for 15 years.

Kids these days have it too soft. We had to walk 8 miles to the ground, carrying night soil buckets on our shoulders, just for the right to fight to the death so the survivors could watch the 19th and 20th men lacing up their boots. On a really good day Ted Whitten would king hit us and we'd spend the night in hospital. Only way you get get a bowl of ice cream. Ah, memories.

Winning a lot of flags over time wins you friends in high places, which makes the decision making process that much smoother. Pies had Brumby (Pie supporter) in office and magically got their hands on the place reserved for Olympic sports. Essington had the Workfair investigation into their drug practices vanish with a stroke of Dan Andrews' (Ess supporter) pen. See above. The "right" decisions can be made retrospectively right by aforementioned friends in high places.

The planet's on fire, the world order is changing, and the Doggies are at the bottom of the free kick ladder. Are these the three signs the ancients prophesied?

It stretches the depth of the comp just that little bit more, when Tassie and possibly a 20th team are going to come in. Should be max 4 on bench and possibly fewer. I'd make it 10 rotations!

And here we go. As sure as night follows day, an AFL coach says "why have we got a guy just sitting there doing nothing, who could be playing?" The AFL will roll over as they always do. Then as sure as day follows night, an AFL coach will say, "one of my players got injured so I'm down to 4 players rotating .... but my rival coach still has 5! Unfair! Why do we have to use all our interchange players, why can't we reserve one/have an extra one in case of injury?" Why not get it over with and have the entire list of 44 available on game day without limit? (Assuming that that will actually appease the coaches!) The coaches do not know what they want except what suits them right now. Their whims are not good for the game. AFL, please ignore Brad "This Isn't Because Of Anything That Happened To My Team In Today's Game At All" Scott.

Surely this fact needs to be mentioned somewhere in official AFL literature? Or is it up to individual groundskeepers to "interpret" in classic AFL fashion? I am prepared to accept it as fact but not from an incomplete sampling of photos.

No mention of this in the rules. 3.3 GOAL POSTS AND BEHIND POSTS 3.3.1 Position (a) Two posts, to be called goal posts, shall be a minimum height of six metres and a maximum height of 15 metres and be placed at each end of the Playing Surface at a distance of 6.4 metres apart. (b) A further two posts, to be called behind posts, shall be a minimum height of three metres and a maximum height of 10 metres and be placed at a distance of 6.4 metres on each side of the goal posts so that a straight line can be drawn on the ground to join each post. 3.3.2 Padding A Controlling Body must ensure that padding is attached around each goal and behind post as follows: (a) a minimum of 35 millimetres thick foam padding, covered in canvas or painted; (b) a minimum height of 2.5 metres from the bottom of each goal and behind post; (c) a suitable width to allow the padding to be fixed around each goal and behind post; and (d) the padding must be securely attached around each goal and behind post.

WANTED: goal reviewer for prestigious sporting organisation. Must be able to work video machine and stay awake for 2 1/2 hours. No other qualifications necessary. Apply AFL House.

Need to see him with a shaved head and ZZ Top beard to really get the resemblance.

No. It's a bit like tennis. The entire ball has to be over the line, otherwise it's "in".

"Whadda you think, Lingy?" "Who's Lingy?" "You mate. You're Lingy." "Oh right. I wondered why people always always call me Lingy. I think ... what was the question again?"

I've been trying to tell everyone that Pickett's no good, but will they listen?

From the 2023 Laws of the Game. 1.1 DEFINITIONS ... Goal Line: the white line marked on the Playing Surface between each goal post, as illustrated in Diagram 1. ... 16.1 GOALS AND BEHINDS 16.1.1 Scoring a Goal Subject to Law 16.2, a Goal is scored when the football is Kicked completely over the Goal Line by a Player of the Attacking Team without being touched by any other Player, even if the football first touches the ground. 16.1.2 Scoring a Behind Subject to Law 16.2, a Behind is scored when any of the following occurs: ... (b) the football touches or passes over the goal post or touches the padding or any other attachment to the goal post; (c) a Player of the Attacking Team Kicks the football over the Goal Line but before completely passing over the Goal Line, the football is touched by another Player; Note: "Goal Line", not "back of the padding". According to the rules, it's a goal. This "back of the padding" thing is a furphy.

"Roo AF" works for me (or for him, more accurately).

Kicker gets a second shot, or Buddy gets a kick from the square, whichever is deemed the bigger penalty to Port.

Let's say Aliir had not punched, the ball went through and the umps decided to award a free for in the back. No score, free kick awarded, game over. The player can take the kick if they want. I wonder how many umps would have had the nerve to pay the free.

Basically the AFL hate us. That explains nearly everything that goes on in the world of AFL.

I dunno how the umps can determine anything definitively from the My First Digital Camera™ they have strapped to the goal posts. But that's what saved Port's bacon, as it turns out they could not determine anything definitely, so it went back to umpire's call, which was "touched". It's funny because the Swans lost, and it's funnier because Hinkley's tenure gets extended by a few more weeks. If they pull out another of these wins at just the right moment, "Kochie" will extend his contract.

Their standard made-to-measure season is unfolding in accordance with the GCS blueprint. Some slashing wins interspersed with terrible and/or pathetic losses. Unable to put together streaks of wins and end up capitulating in the back half of the season and giving up entirely. Only difference is this year it looks like they will capitulate sooner.

We need to start thinking about first and second division, with promotion and relegation, as RL and RU die and their juniors switch to our game.

A team with skilled players, but misfiring, can look terrible. One metre handpasses to feet, handpasses to players about to get cannoned into the ground, etc. Imagine what this guy could do in a better midfield in a team with better system.