Great images hardtack. Good luck mate.

Many here will be silently watching and hoping for your health to get on the up and up. 

On 25/03/2025 at 08:50, Damo said:

Great images hardtack. Good luck mate.

Many here will be silently watching and hoping for your health to get on the up and up. 

Thanks Damo! I’ll just keep posting my experiences both good and bad. It’s not a sympathy seeking exercise, but more designed to show some positivity in the face of what could otherwise be an extremely devastating time. I’m fortunate in that I’m a fairly pragmatic person, and as such this is having very little affect on my state of mind.  I just hope that if there are others on here, and the odds are that there are, who if they are going through a similar close encounter, that this might at least let them know they’re not alone and that it is possible to clear one’s mind every now and then.

 

Edited March 26Mar 26 by hardtack

My band played our last gig for an indefinite period of time on Saturday 12th April. As the chemo has had a direct affect on my voice, making it quite fragile, I brought in some friends from local bands to help out. They included Paul Field (The Cockroaches and Sacred Hearts), Brendan Smith (The Stray Dogs), Marcus Phelan (Brave New Works and The Beatels), and Mickey Mahoney (The Treble Clefs and The Allniters). It was just as well that I did invite this crew as during the first set, I gave myself three songs to perform and by the second I was starting to sound like the love child of Tom Waits and Donald Duck! Fortunately, by the time the second set came around it had warmed up and worked well for the rest of that and the third set. Other invitees included Richard Burgman (The Saints and The Sunny Boys), Richard Rhule (early Dynamic Hepnotics drummer), plus a couple of unplanned fill ins.

It was a real spirit lifting afternoon despite it happening at the end of the first week of my fortnightly chemo cycle which is when I’m at my lowest ebb.

Later during the week (last Wednesday) I again met up with Seiko, Mitsuteru and Takami from the Japanese band Buddhadatta, for coffee and general chatting. A nicer bunch you couldn’t hope to meet and another real spirit lifter!

The Irinotecan and Fluorouracil that they have me on for my chemo, is having a cumulative affect on my body, and while not being too vicious on my appetite and my general energy levels (I can still walk to the shops just making maybe three stops on the way to regain my breath), but it has now completely [censored] up my taste buds… everything, but…EVERYTHING tastes absolutely foul!

Edited April 20Apr 20 by hardtack

Well, here I am back in for cycle #7 and feeling pretty positive. A quick consult with my oncologist revealed that my CT scan (taken last week) shows that the spots on my lungs and liver are shrinking… the largest spots in my lungs have reduced by about 33% since my last scan (whenever that was). My CEA marker that gives an indication as to how active the rectal tumour is, is now down from 26 when I started to 14. All good news so far, although I did lose 4.2kg over the past two weeks… something I’m kind of liking.

Great pics @hardtack, especially the ones of the Buddhadatta crew !

Hope the good news keeps coming.

5 hours ago, Grapeviney said:

Great pics @hardtack, especially the ones of the Buddhadatta crew !

Hope the good news keeps coming.

So do I. Did you happen to get along to one of their gigs at all?

Hi Tim! I only just came across this thread. Your attitude and resilience is amazing and also inspiring. Wishing you all the best in your continued fight.

21 hours ago, hardtack said:

So do I. Did you happen to get along to one of their gigs at all?

I’m all gigged out, I’m afraid, although music is still very central to my life. But it’s at home these days.

2 hours ago, Ethan Tremblay said:

Hi Tim! I only just came across this thread. Your attitude and resilience is amazing and also inspiring. Wishing you all the best in your continued fight.

Thanks so much matey! I’m posting for a couple of reasons… as a cautionary tale in the hope that others don’t make the same mistakes that I did, to show that there’s a positive way to address a very negative experience (of course it helps if you’re a pragmatist), and just to share the changed approach to my lifestyle that I’ve taken (albeit not by choice, but rather change being the mother of invention).

I really do appreciate your appreciation 😁

Edited April 25Apr 25 by hardtack

Gday Tim. Not sure how or why the Gods brought me here but stay strong, fight the fight ; get the word out.

It's very courageous of you share your plight.

Nearly lost my lovely wife to the dreaded C 8 years ago. I'm thankful for every day since.

With your strength and attitude I wish you all the resultant success.

You're an inspiration 👍

4 hours ago, beelzebub said:

It's very courageous of you share your plight.

It’s funny, I don’t actually feel I’m in any way courageous, but rather, I feel like it’s in some way, my duty; my neglect put me in this position, so I feel it’s only right that I try to encourage others to watch their own health, because it does affect others.

(Why am I starting to feel like a, shudder, born again christian?)

But regardless, thanks so much for your encouragement, and I hope that you and others, are, if nothing else, mildly entertained by what I post. 😉

Just came across this thread now Hardtack. No need to apologies for sharing this journey, got a few challenges myself at the moment and reading about much harder challenges is helping me to get out of my own head.

Take it easy mate, you really are an inspiration to us all.

1 hour ago, layzie said:

Just came across this thread now Hardtack. No need to apologies for sharing this journey, got a few challenges myself at the moment and reading about much harder challenges is helping me to get out of my own head.

Take it easy mate, you really are an inspiration to us all.

No challenge is easy, so I hope you’re managing to deal with yours. If this does help in any way, then thank you, but in the end, how you apply my experience to help you deal with yours, is still your good work that’s doing the job. Onward and upward for the both of us!!

Update as I enter fortnightly cycle #9. I can’t recall whether I previously mentioned what is called the CEA marker in my blood tests (probably did, but the chemo is really affecting my short term memory big time). This marker gives an indication as to the level of activity in the rectal tumour.

When I was put back on the chemo, one of the reasons was that the CEA marker was 26 (when I was put on chemo the first time in 2023, it was 12), but now, roughly four months in, it is down to 9.1, which is very promising considering the normal range is between zero and three. Of course this doesn’t reflect the state of the traces in my lungs and liver, but hopefully if the immunotherapy part of my chemo is beating the hell out of my tumour, there’s a good chance it’s doing the same to the other bits and pieces! I guess I just have to wait until they decide I need a CT scan.

For distraction purposes, I provide my view of the infusion room, otherwise known as the Day Therapy Centre. Done using a photo I took and then distorted somewhat using AI.

Edited May 19May 19 by hardtack

On 19/05/2025 at 14:23, hardtack said:

Update as I enter fortnightly cycle #9. I can’t recall whether I previously mentioned what is called the CEA marker in my blood tests (probably did, but the chemo is really affecting my short term memory big time). This marker gives an indication as to the level of activity in the rectal tumour.

When I was put back on the chemo, one of the reasons was that the CEA marker was 26 (when I was put on chemo the first time in 2023, it was 12), but now, roughly four months in, it is down to 9.1, which is very promising considering the normal range is between zero and three. Of course this doesn’t reflect the state of the traces in my lungs and liver, but hopefully if the immunotherapy part of my chemo is beating the hell out of my tumour, there’s a good chance it’s doing the same to the other bits and pieces! I guess I just have to wait until they decide I need a CT scan.

For distraction purposes, I provide my view of the infusion room, otherwise known as the Day Therapy Centre. Done using a photo I took and then distorted somewhat using AI.

That's good news. Acknowledging my wife's battle as well as her sister's a lot seems to this observer to be battles within battles. That's some good news for you.

On 24/05/2025 at 17:24, beelzebub said:

That's good news. Acknowledging my wife's battle as well as her sister's a lot seems to this observer to be battles within battles. That's some good news for you.

Battles within battles is right on the money! Everything can turn on a dime, but while it’s heading in the right direction, I’m riding that wave all the way to the beach.

I have a friend, another musician (his brother was half of the avant garde band from the 1980’s, Severed Heads), and he was given four months back in 2017, but he defied the odds and is still with us. Just recently he had a relapse and again, was told he should probable get his affairs in order, but again he seems to be defying the odds… he’s a true inspiration to me.

Anyway, I have booked the Marrickville Bowlo (bowling club) for Aug 31st with both his band (The Chickenstones) and my band (Los Romeos Oxidados) playing… this is the carrot on a string to get us moving in the right direction with our states of health… I’m hoping to use it to raise money for cancer research and am hoping to get the bowling club to match all contributions.

Here’s his band The Chickenstones (his name is Andy Ellard)… Andy is the blond guy on lead vocals (interestingly, the guitarist in the hat has the family name of Van Rooyen, but no relation):

Edited May 29May 29 by hardtack

Having just started cycle #11, things are still heading in the right direction… in fact, I was informed by one of the nurses taking care of my infusion, that it looks like I get a break from (or complete?), this bout of chemo as it all seems to finish with cycle #13, which pretty much equates to six months worth.

This is good news in as far as it means I’ll be able to start looking at booking a few gigs in the coming months. On the flip side though, I have experienced a couple of bouts of vertigo over the past few days, so I will be undergoing a CT scan on my head and neck just to make sure that there’s nothing sinister going on… who knows, they might discover a brain in there somewhere.

In keeping with my previous posts, here are some more photos and an AI image… the hands, while being heavily edited, are pretty close to accurate. As a result of peripheral neuropathy, the finger prints are almost completely gone and the skin is smooth and almost plastic like… my fingers actually feel like they have those plastic elastoplast bandaids all over them.

Enjoy…

Edited June 16Jun 16 by hardtack

So late to the party on this thread Tim...sorry.

I know you've been battling over the last few years but hadn't seen this.

Just wish you all the best mate, it's an incredible fight and to see it documented like this is quite special.

Your resilience is inspiring.

I'm looking forward to seeing some video and pix from your August gig.

On 08/07/2025 at 12:01, rjay said:

So late to the party on this thread Tim...sorry.

I know you've been battling over the last few years but hadn't seen this.

Just wish you all the best mate, it's an incredible fight and to see it documented like this is quite special.

Your resilience is inspiring.

I'm looking forward to seeing some video and pix from your August gig.

Thanks for your kind words rjay! Yes, it is a bit of a battle, but there are still many who are doing it much tougher than me. Sure it’s very possible that it will get me in the end, but at least I’m comfortable, both physically and, being the pragmatist that I am, mentally.

I start what might be my final cycle of chemo on Monday, but should know more after meeting with my oncologist prior to getting hooked up for my fortnightly infusion; I will also find out the results of my CT scan, but as they haven’t called me about it, I get the feeling it’s probably nothing serious, just an attack of vertigo.

I’m still hopeful that the gig will happen on the 31st August, but that’s pretty much in the hands of the medicos.

I’ll wind up with a few images created by me as well as one on myself and a club legend in Shanghai…

It seems that my optimism was a little misguided as I’m to continue my fortnightly chemo cycles until..?

I’d still like to think I could honour my ‘promise’ that we will play at the Marrickville Bowlo on the 31st August, if only in a somewhat reduced capacity (I refuse to let this [censored] get the upper hand!!)… and I’d hope that Andy Doc Temple Ellard will be fit to do a set with The Chickenstones… after all, that was the plan and our incentive to beat this beast; definitely so in my case. Please stay tuned.

The accompanying images are some I whipped up with the help of my AI (don’t worry, I will never claim such images as my own work). They express a little of the disappointment I felt today, as well as my resignation to the fact that it’s probably all for the best.

The first image is a selfie I took upon arriving home from the Rusty Priest, the rest are generated using that image as a reference point. I hope you can appreciate/enjoy them (some of them do take a bit of poetic licence when it come to my visage)…

Love those images Tim .. hope the news gets better after this setback and you can make your gig.

Edited Tuesday at 02:394 days by Grapeviney

8 hours ago, Grapeviney said:

Love those images Tim .. hope the news gets better after this setback and you can make your gig.

I’ve already made up my mind that I’ll do the gig regardless of how I’m feeling…I’ll just set myself fewer songs to get through.