BEYOND BLUES by Whispering Jack

[Demonland 70,523]

Many years ago (in fact somewhere in the 1980's) I tried to imagine what football would be like in the future. At the time, I was into reading science fiction by writers such as Isaac Asimov and his work led me to think that perhaps the sport might develop to a stage where it was played by robots rather than human beings: by machines programmed to play in the manner in which their inventors designed them to perform.

Naturally, the designers with the greatest amount of financial backing would produce the best performed teams. In this world of robotic footballers, there would be no room for emotions or feelings because such things would likely distract from the prime objective of performing at the optimum and winning the contest.

The modern footballer might not yet be a machine made of metal with computer chip brains but we've seen this week an example of how one of them with human frailties and unable to cope with the pressures of the system has been forced out of the game. It's difficult to imagine that one so tall in stature, so big and so strong and so almost able to leap tall buildings in a single bound could be forced out of sport by an illness that we once believed could never afflict a footballer at this elite level.

That Mitch Clark has been able to understand his ailment and knows it can be treated is promising and inspires hope that his future away from the game will bring him happiness and contentment in a place beyond blue.

In his own words, "I am very grateful for everything Melbourne has done for me. I will always consider myself a Melbourne player and a Melbourne person." And all Melbourne people will continue to stand behind Mitch as he moves on to the next stages of his rehabilitation.

Beyond that, it's hard to look at the coming week when the remaining robots in the team do battle with a like group of battered warriors who are in similarly poor shape. This week's opposition head robot organised a meeting of his fellows and as a result the rusty, creaking joints have been oiled and a promise was made of greater commitment and a better result.

Against this, we look at Melbourne and wonder what can Paul Roos do with his own charges to raise them a notch or two given than one of the big men upon whose broad shoulders was carried the promise of improvement has gone and most of the others remain out of commission for the time being.

There was a time in the pre robot era of football, when it was possible to rouse a team that was down in morale by addressing issues such as pride in the colours and appealing for a concerted effort and an aggressive approach.

We live in the age of professionalism and robotics; when doing it for the club, for the supporters, for yourself or even for a comrade in difficult straits is an anachronism that involves digging into the depths of an individual's emotions.

But in this day and age, that can no longer be done because the microchip that carries the meme of emotion in the head of the player has been removed from the programme.

THE GAME

Carlton v Melbourne at MCG Saturday, April 12, 1.45pm

HEAD TO HEAD

Overall Carlton 115 wins Melbourne 88 wins Drawn 2

At MCG Carlton 48 wins Melbourne 48 wins

Past five years Carlton 5 wins Melbourne 0 wins

The Coaches Malthouse 0 wins Roos 0 wins

MEDIA

TV - Fox Footy Channel at 1.00 pm (live)

RADIO - MMM 3AW

THE BETTING

Carlton to win - $1.10 Melbourne to win - $7.00

THE LAST TIME THEY MET

Carlton 18.13 (121) d Melbourne 8.12 (60) at the MCG Round 6, 2013

Carlton won by 61 points against an insipid Melbourne combination for who the season had already ended at around a quarter of the way in. Dejavu anyone?

THE TEAMS

CARLTON

B: Andrew Walker, Michael Jamison, Zach Tuohy

HB: Andrejs Everitt, Sam Rowe, Dylan Buckley

C: Kade Simpson, Ed Curnow, Dale Thomas

HF: David Ellard, Levi Casboult, Bryce Gibbs

F: Chris Yarran, Lachie Henderson, Mitch Robinson

FOLL: Robert Warnock, Patrick Cripps, Marc Murphy

I/C: Andrew Carrazzo, Kane Lucas, Troy Menzel, Heath Scotland

EM: Tom Bell, Nick Graham, Matthew Watson

IN: Levi Casboult, Patrick Cripps, Kane Lucas, Heath Scotland

OUT Tom Bell, Jeff Garlett, Jarrad Waite, Simon White

MELBOURNE

B: Alex Georgiou, James Frawley, Lynden Dunn

HB: Jack Grimes, Tom McDonald, Dean Terlich

C: Jack Watts, Bernie Vince, Daniel Cross

HF: Jordie McKenzie, Cameron Pedersen, Jack Viney

F: Jeremy Howe, Chris Dawes, Rohan Bail

FOLL: Jake Spencer, Nathan Jones, Dom Tyson

I/C: Dean Kent, Jay Kennedy-Harris, Michael Evans, Matt Jones

EMG: Jack Trengove, Shannon Byrnes, Daniel Nicholson

IN: Chris Dawes, Jordie McKenzie

OUT: Shannon Byrnes, Jack Fitzpatrick

MICK, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

Mick Malthouse.

What have you done?

I was sitting at home fully resigned to the fact that the Demons would falter again this week against the Blues as they have done against moderate opposition in St. Kilda in Round 1 and GWS Giants in Round 3 (I'm trying to erase entirely the painful fiasco of the West Coast game from the memory banks). Damn you Malthouse but by dropping two of your players who frighten me the most out of your crumbling football team, you've raised in me the faintest glimmer of hope that Melbourne might cause an upset and possibly win this week.

I speak now of Jarrad Waite and Jeff Garlett, two of the Blues' most problematic thorns in Melbourne's side apart from Chris Judd who always destroys the Dees and mysteriously appears from nowhere when it comes to playing them (but looks like missing out this week).

When the teams met last year, Waite put on a blinder kicking two goals on his way to snaring a Brownlow vote while Garlett was irrepressible with four goals which added to Melbourne's heartbreak because while the Demons struggled up forward the Blues' goalsneak simply couldn't miss. I still have nightmares about Garlett in the first game post 186 running 100 metres along the wing with one bounce while mesmerised umpires watched on unable to blow the whistle as another Carlton goal was set up.

Now, without those two and rocked by controversy over its cantankerous coach who is almost universally disliked by the football world (and we wonder about his own charges given their performances of late), Carlton is in the sort of form that produces statistics like these weekly averages:-

Disposals (319) - ranked 18 in the AFL

Handballs (131) - ranked 18 in the AFL

Effective kicks (114) - ranked 18 in the AFL

Handball receives (99) - ranked 18 in the AFL

Uncontested possessions (182) - ranked 18 in the AFL.

They're that bad that there's a chance that they might make us look half presentable. With Chris Dawes returning to hopefully straighten up the forward line, the Demons might even record a season high total of eight goals which under the predicted weather conditions and based on the morale of the opposition might even be a winning score.

Who knows?

Melbourne by 1 point.