The No T$ No B$ Thread

[Whispering_Jack 28,136]

A few of you might be wondering about the mysterious disappearance of Redleg so I'll fill you in on what I know.

As you're aware, Redleg is regularly accused of flogging a dead horse on these forums. Well, he's currently involved in flogging some horses but they're not dead ones - at least yet although the way some of them run you might be forgiven for making the error of believing that to be the case.

Yes, Redleg is up on the Gold Coast feasting on bananas and trying to sell a few of his ponies at the Magic Millions.

Those of you who watched the Gold Coast v Melbourne Heart game this evening might have caught a glimpse of him during the Foxtel telecast where he was apparently hobnobbing with the official party. That's right he got in on a freebie.

And he's promised to make a comeback to this thread very soon if I post Chapter 2 of Orange and Charcoal. However, I don't have the time to do that and fit in MFC training tomorrow so one will have to wait.

[Redleg 38,753]

How is the back Redleg?

Still bloody sore.

[Redleg 38,753]

Knowing the A-League, could well have been sky-writer.

Speaking of which I attended the Heart v GC game with Mrs. Redleg on sunday night. Massive crowd of 2098. Enjoyed it but it reminded me of why I love AFL football, because it is a great game. I will never be a soccer fan but as a Heart supporter, because my mate is a director, I will support Heart, even if that support, pardon the pun, is half hearted.

As a sidelight I went out to dinner after the game with my mate and our wives and the Heart CEO, Scott Munn who is a former AFL official. He is a nice guy and was heavily involved in the set up of the GC Suns.

[Redleg 38,753]

Humidity really bad today up on GC and it really gets to you. Lions and Suns have a huge advantage on these types of days. If our opening NAB cup day played on day like today I would back them to beat us.

[Sir Why You Little 35,381]

Humidity really bad today up on GC and it really gets to you. Lions and Suns have a huge advantage on these types of days. If our opening NAB cup day played on day like today I would back them to beat us.

Which is exactly why the Darwin game is very dangerous.

[Redleg 38,753]

Which is exactly why the Darwin game is very dangerous.

And that is why we should have insisted that we play before our bye week or a longer break.

Edited January 11, 2012 by Redleg

[Sir Why You Little 35,381]

And that is why we should have insisted that we play before our bye week or a longer break.

I agree totally. I have spent time in the top end. It's fantastic, but walking from the pool to the fridge can take all day!

[old dee 23,276]

And that is why we should have insisted that we play before our bye week or a longer break.

We need to get over this, we need the money so it is put up and shut up for mine.

[Sir Why You Little 35,381]

We need to get over this, we need the money so it is put up and shut up for mine.

Which could ruin a season...what is more important as victories will generate $$$

[old dee 23,276]

Which could ruin a season...what is more important as victories will generate $$$

I simply do not believe that, it is like the travel bleating.

The two WA sides travel every other week.

When they have good sides they win consistantly and when they have poor sides they lose.

Manage the game etc well and we will have a limited problem

No big deal

PS wyl you must have a life as poor as mine.

what the hell are we doing discussing a July 21 Darwin game on the 11 Jan?

We both need to get lives.

[Sir Why You Little 35,381]

I simply do not believe that, it is like the travel bleating.

The two WA sides travel every other week.

When they have good sides they win consistantly and when they have poor sides they lose.

Manage the game etc well and we will have a limited problem

No big deal

PS wyl you must have a life as poor as mine.

what the hell are we doing discussing a July 21 Darwin game on the 11 Jan?

We both need to get lives.

Perth Humidity is not the same as Darwin or kimberleys.

[old dee 23,276]

Perth Humidity is not the same as Darwin or kimberleys.

I did not mean the humidity in Perth.

Vic clubs complain about the travel to WA being upsetting.

But it does not seem to worry the WA clubs much.

We use it as an excuse for poor results in WA or the week after a game in Perth.

When the truth is we have not been all that good of a team and probably would have lost the game if it was played anywhere.

Our game in Darwin is on July 21

I have been up there a few times at that time for the Darwin Cup ( driest time of the year ) it is not bad.

If we manage it well the problems are low and we get lots of green stuff.

[Sir Why You Little 35,381]

I did not mean the humidity in Perth.

Vic clubs complain about the travel to WA being upsetting.

But it does not seem to worry the WA clubs much.

We use it as an excuse for poor results in WA or the week after a game in Perth.

When the truth is we have not been all that good of a team and probably would have lost the game if it was played anywhere.

Our game in Darwin is on July 21

I have been up there a few times at that time for the Darwin Cup ( driest time of the year ) it is not bad.

If we manage it well the problems are low and we get lots of green stuff.

It's not the travel i worry about. But i am concerned about playing football in top end humidity when we play in southern australia for the rest of the season. It is very different and i have only been up there for relaxation. Time will tell, but tthe sooner we can walk away from hand outs the better. Leave that to North, Port, and Footscray...

[old dee 23,276]

It's not the travel i worry about. But i am concerned about playing football in top end humidity when we play in southern australia for the rest of the season. It is very different and i have only been up there for relaxation. Time will tell, but tthe sooner we can walk away from hand outs the better. Leave that to North, Port, and Footscray...

Don't hold your breath

Unfortunately I think we will have to do this sort of thing for a number of years yet.

[Sir Why You Little 35,381]

Don't hold your breath

Unfortunately I think we will have to do this sort of thing for a number of years yet.

Not if this current list and Football Dept get things right. Look at Geelong, in 2001 they were a mess seriously.

A lot of this is attitude and careful planning OD. Yes we have a long way to climb but the hand out mentality will always retard growth.

[Pink Freud 326]

I agree with Redleg. It's not so much the game up there that's the problem but rather, that the recovery takes so long. How often does a team follow up a game in Darwin or Cairns with a win?

[Sir Why You Little 35,381]

I agree with Redleg. It's not so much the game up there that's the problem but rather, that the recovery takes so long. How often does a team follow up a game in Darwin or Cairns with a win?

Agree. We were awful last year after Darwin. Yes i know there were other problems but that Top end trip certainly contributed.

[Hulett Packard III 166]

I hear that someone's running his backside off north of the border.

I think we need Chapter 2 and a dose of reality to help us understand what's happening.

[old dee 23,276]

Agree. We were awful last year after Darwin. Yes i know there were other problems but that Top end trip certainly contributed.

Sorry wyl but I cannot let this go.

We played Hawthorn and Geelong after the Darwin game.

I hope you are not suggesting the reason we got pumped in both those games was because we went to Darwin.

We were just beaten by far better sides.

It is just an excuse to say the reason we got beaten by 30 goals was because we went darwin.

I just do not buy it.

[Sir Why You Little 35,381]

Sorry wyl but I cannot let this go.

We played Hawthorn and Geelong after the Darwin game.

I hope you are not suggesting the reason we got pumped in both those games was because we went to Darwin.

We were just beaten by far better sides.

It is just an excuse to say the reason we got beaten by 30 goals was because we went darwin.

I just do not buy it.

No not the excuse, but it certainly didn't help. Beamer had the flu and had zero stats when left the ground at Geelong. It all adds up OD The club must work towards standing alone or else the beltings will continue.

[DemonWA 3,665]

I did not mean the humidity in Perth.

Vic clubs complain about the travel to WA being upsetting.

But it does not seem to worry the WA clubs much.

We use it as an excuse for poor results in WA or the week after a game in Perth.

When the truth is we have not been all that good of a team and probably would have lost the game if it was played anywhere.

Our game in Darwin is on July 21

I have been up there a few times at that time for the Darwin Cup ( driest time of the year ) it is not bad.

If we manage it well the problems are low and we get lots of green stuff.

love the no nonsence, straight shooting old dee

[Whispering_Jack 28,136]

I hear that someone's running his backside off north of the border.

I think we need Chapter 2 and a dose of reality to help us understand what's happening.

I'll try to write up Chapter 2 now that I've been inspired by that run coming to within almost two minutes of the world record.

Aiming to write it up in under 9 minutes and 37 seconds.

In the meantime, here's a quote from Sheeds on Twitter from today:

The bookies have the GIANTS at $15 to win the first match against the Swans. Reminds me when Essendon was 50-1 to win flag at start of 1993.

[Whispering_Jack 28,136]

ORANGE AND CHARCOAL - Recollections and tales of a tragic football club

Chapter Two

The coach, whose usual complexion was as red as the most ripened of tomatoes, sat ashen-faced throughout the pre match press conference. Alongside him and with a face that was equally as pallid was his club's new chief executive officer, the third in the new club's brief history. The press pack was having a field day interrogating its quarry about the defection of three players on the very day of their team's debut game on the national stage. The whole wide world was watching.

The news had attracted the attention of the international media with coverage on CNN, the BBC and Al Jazeera. In the Middle East there was rioting and looting in a dozen countries after the news came through that the team from the heartland of their culture in the western suburbs of Sydney had been so ravaged. In the mid west of the United States, entire congregations massed in prayer, North Korean warships bombed villages in the south and on the subcontinent, bookmakers went on strike.

Finally, the coach spoke. 

"I blame the Martians for this. One of our kids pockets the club's hard earned two million bucks and the Martians - they know who they are - make up loopholes in the laws just so that he can end up at their new franchise. Well, it's not fair and we're not going to put up with it, we're going to fight back!"

He was careful not to elaborate any further on the form the fightback would take or about the so-called controversial "Demetriou rule" which the Launceston Lyre Birds had cleverly exploited to secure their first recruits for 2013, a 20-year-old now earning $5 million a year plus 10% of home gate receipts and a  25% stake in the new franchise, a former rugby league player who suffered stage fright and a kid straight out of the TAC Cup grossing $500,000 for making television commercials advertising a product that allegedly cures facial blemishes. 

The loss of the three players followed hot on the heels of the news that a highly ranked GWS recruit, sent to Sweden for consultation with a leading surgeon on his patella tendinitis injury, had disappeared with the specialist's nurse. Both are believed to be in hiding at the sprawling Swedish mansion of Wikileaks founder Julian Assange.

The media pushed ahead with their cross-examination. One crusty old reporter asked the question on everyone's lips. Were the players becoming uncomfortable with the fact that the GWS coaches simply hadn't attempted to train them to counter the forward press?

The question clearly caused the coach to bristle. The colour seemed to rush back into his cheeks, his jaw jutted out in front of his face at an almost perpendicular angle and some later said they even saw puffs of smoke coming out of his ears.

"I've had enough of this forward press stuff. We put these lads up for nothing at Breakfast Point. We feed them, we clothe them, we even organise the occasional blind date but we draw the line at doing their laundry. 

Show's over folks. We're outta here!"

And with that, the coach and the entire GWS entourage left the room. The start of the game was two hours away and the Giants were still waiting for reinforcements in the form of a couple of rookies who had taken off on the 11:00am flight from Sydney.

Meanwhile, as the media people began to shuffle out of the hall, one of the cleaning staff picked up a crumpled scrap of paper with a note written in the coach's handwriting that read:

"Choko, why do they keep asking me these stupid, bloody questions about presses?"

To be continued ...

[Sir Why You Little 35,381]

This book must be published. Seriously i just laughed my absolute head reading that. Thanks.

[Redleg 38,753]

ORANGE AND CHARCOAL - Recollections and tales of a tragic football club

Chapter Two

The coach, whose usual complexion was as red as the most ripened of tomatoes, sat ashen-faced throughout the pre match press conference. Alongside him and with a face that was equally as pallid was his club's new chief executive officer, the third in the new club's brief history. The press pack was having a field day interrogating its quarry about the defection of three players on the very day of their team's debut game on the national stage. The whole wide world was watching.

The news had attracted the attention of the international media with coverage on CNN, the BBC and Al Jazeera. In the Middle East there was rioting and looting in a dozen countries after the news came through that the team from the heartland of their culture in the western suburbs of Sydney had been so ravaged. In the mid west of the United States, entire congregations massed in prayer, North Korean warships bombed villages in the south and on the subcontinent, bookmakers went on strike.

Finally, the coach spoke.

"I blame the Martians for this. One of our kids pockets the club's hard earned two million bucks and the Martians - they know who they are - make up loopholes in the laws just so that he can end up at their new franchise. Well, it's not fair and we're not going to put up with it, we're going to fight back!"

He was careful not to elaborate any further on the form the fightback would take or about the so-called controversial "Demetriou rule" which the Launceston Lyre Birds had cleverly exploited to secure their first recruits for 2013, a 20-year-old now earning $5 million a year plus 10% of home gate receipts and a 25% stake in the new franchise, a former rugby league player who suffered stage fright and a kid straight out of the TAC Cup grossing $500,000 for making television commercials advertising a product that allegedly cures facial blemishes.

The loss of the three players followed hot on the heels of the news that a highly ranked GWS recruit, sent to Sweden for consultation with a leading surgeon on his patella tendinitis injury, had disappeared with the specialist's nurse. Both are believed to be in hiding at the sprawling Swedish mansion of Wikileaks founder Julian Assange.

The media pushed ahead with their cross-examination. One crusty old reporter asked the question on everyone's lips. Were the players becoming uncomfortable with the fact that the GWS coaches simply hadn't attempted to train them to counter the forward press?

The question clearly caused the coach to bristle. The colour seemed to rush back into his cheeks, his jaw jutted out in front of his face at an almost perpendicular angle and some later said they even saw puffs of smoke coming out of his ears.

"I've had enough of this forward press stuff. We put these lads up for nothing at Breakfast Point. We feed them, we clothe them, we even organise the occasional blind date but we draw the line at doing their laundry.

Show's over folks. We're outta here!"

And with that, the coach and the entire GWS entourage left the room. The start of the game was two hours away and the Giants were still waiting for reinforcements in the form of a couple of rookies who had taken off on the 11:00am flight from Sydney.

Meanwhile, as the media people began to shuffle out of the hall, one of the cleaning staff picked up a crumpled scrap of paper with a note written in the coach's handwriting that read:

"Choko, why do they keep asking me these stupid, bloody questions about presses?"

To be continued ...

Very funny.