Straight Sets Simon

Top speed doesn't concern me, but acceleration does. Watts and Trengove can both run fast, but over the first five metres they are poor.

She didn't even know what the "Vault" was.

All the best Clint, solid contributor who had to leave the game too soon.

Dawes looked good. All his (he's) spelling and punctuation was excellent.

I would happily replace Trengove with Clark.

Is it Finks?

Not a saying, but the word "laconic" has a different meaning in the AFL as compared to the rest of the English speaking world.

These two lines stick out, they just don't fit in: "The club is expected to put forward Connolly's claim that his comments – including his invoking of a disappointed and cancer stricken president Jim Stynes after a Port Adelaide victory – were tongue-in-cheek. It is also playing down the significance of the meeting in the vault. It will also cast doubt on the true nature of chief executive Cameron Schwab's disappointment with Bailey in the rooms after the Port win." I wouldn't be surprised if an editor added these in after.

There's reading too much into a training report if I've ever seen it.

I think Jared Rivers replaced Jack Watts.

He's flat-footed. He doesn't attack the ball enough and sits back and waits too often. His 30+ possession games are too rare for someone who has all the physical attributes to be a star.

She either knows a lot more which she isn't letting on yet (which proves Melbourne's guilt*), or she went too early and she is paddling up the Nile. *The evidence would need to be concrete.

This one is my favourite:

I can hear the chant now: "Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim!"

Goodes kicked four goals and was the only reason Sydney didn't lose by over 100 points.

I can't believe he's played 100 games.

"...troubled alignment with Melbourne". Spare me.

From the photos on the MFC website Tapscott looks more refined and less if a man-child.

You keep saying "tanking", but you don't know what it means.

I heard her on 3AW say she was on holidays the week she wrote all her articles.

Caroline Wilson does not have a Twitter account. Anyone who believes she does is a peanut.

People barely go to watch Melbourne play, let alone the players who can't get a game for Melbourne. I like the idea of a curtain raiser, I just can't see it happening.

How?

Geelong don't play curtain raisers on the MCG, which is heavily restricted in terms of hours used per week.

Part of the original Casey Fields plan was to have a social club with pokies. But it could not get off the ground.