Ghostwriter

Poop-shute update: So on Wednesday Richo told me Vines was crook in the guts as a result of eating a dodgy prawn on a pizza the night before. Specifically, he’d knowingly eaten a prawn that still had its poop-shute. Richo told me if I go on Demonland I’m to tell everyone that “silly Jack” ate something he knew would make him ill. So I did. This morning Richo came over and told me I need to hug Jack and apologise because he (Jack) had found out I’d told DL. So after training I told Jack I need to apologise for poop-shute-gate. He said, “bloody Richo… he stitched me up!” Then he said, “imagine anyone believing that story.” I said I believed it. Jack said, “bloody Richo… stitched us both up!” So there was no dodgy prawn (with or without poop-shute) and the truth is a few of the players had a stomach bug which made them very ill but was short-lived. Fritta was afflicted today and I’m guessing so too was Maysie.

At training in the first week of preseason, maybe third session (on the Friday). I told him there were two players who’ve yet to debut and I was wondering about their progress (Jeffo and Sesto). Without hesitating he said, “Matty will play in the firsts, that’s gonna happen and it’ll be early in the season.” Then he said, “Ollie’s still a way off at this point but he’ll get there.”

That’s exactly right. Apparently they all have a certain number of kms to complete and this varies from player to player. They also have a set amount of weight training (strength training) to complete, again this varies from player to player. For example, while most of them were off to hit the showers after training, ”Halfway” (Howes) for one was off to the gym to complete his time. Tomorrow morning, like every Saturday morning, they have hill sprints at stupid o’clock (7am I think). In the past you’d only ever hear them moan about this. Not anymore though, haven’t heard a single complaint this preseason. Well, almost no complaints… Steve the property steward was telling me that despite an expected top of 40 degrees on Monday the boys will be training just as hard and for just as long. Spargz was doing stretching exercises behind Steve and must’ve heard our conversation because when Steve said this, he (Spargz) moved his head to the side so as I could see him and mouthed “[censored]!” 😂

You didn’t include Sesto in the rehab group. Did you forget to include him or do you not categorise him as in rehab? Just curious. On that, a while back Sesto said he had a slight hammy issue but it wasn’t serious. Today Goody said that is the case and he’s almost 100% but they’re making sure he’s right before putting him back in with the main group.

I saw that interview being conducted then I watched it on the news that evening. What you see is what you get. TC is very intelligent, well-spoken and humble. He’s grateful for this opportunity and it shows. He is forever upbeat and has a lovely disposition and a broad and friendly smile. I can’t imagine anyone not liking him. Fully agree about Rooey in the ruck… we need to avoid this. He’ll be smashed and bashed just like Max is.

Yeah I reckon that’s something the club was expecting, like an added bonus. You only need to speak with him for a couple of minutes and you see why he’s a close friend of BBB’s, has a similar nature. I can’t imagine a personality clash happening between TC and anyone.

TC (officially his nickname) is a big strong unit. There’s a marked change in terms of muscle definition in the time we’ve had him. He’s been told he’ll be doing what you described above. He puts it as “helping Max out as needed.”

He’s unwell. He’ll be right by Monday.

Yes. I’d go so far as to say we’ll make top four. Of course, I’m delusional and have my head in the sand, a happy clapper if you will, but this year’s preseason is different in so many ways. If I had to pick one word to describe the biggest difference it would be… HUNGER. It’s spread around the entire group, they’re all driven by it.

Moreover, Goody has said he’ll debut EARLY in the season. They’re excited about this.

‘Twill be Shane’s time to shine. He’s been told he’ll play in round one. Goody was more conservative; he said barring any unforeseen issue he’ll be there in round one. Goody said they’re rapt with the work Shane’s been putting in and with the results. He said Shane has lost six kilos, trimmed right down.

Spargz is running well 🥳 He said his Achilles is feeling great 🥳🥳

Everyone’s here and everyone’s out on the field. YAY!!!

watching Storm training rn. They look in great shape but not as fit as our boys. I’m the only spectator which is surprising. They’re super friendly people.

I find Bushman’s too strong as in when inhaled.

I don’t know who I should forewarn first… Jeffo or the Yowies.

All good WJ, I’m across it. Anyone who forgets the Aerogard or sunscreen is welcome to hit me up. I’ll be the one who’s not swatting flies away.

Well you’ve gone and blown the relationship now! You left the word “have” out in your last message.

Lily is from Tasmania. I actually told Judd this was brought up in a fan forum (the suggestion Tassie might come a-hunting for both Lily and him). He laughed and said he’d wanna go to Tasmania as much as Lily would wanna go to WA. 😂

Cheers for the mental image 😳

I thought you were gonna be there today. I looked around the boundary but didn’t see anyone staring lovingly at Jeffo so I knew you weren’t there 😉

I have two jobs SL, but I’m lucky in that I can mostly choose my own hours and that means I can get to training on a regular basis. I work around Demon Army stuff, matches and training coz I want to and coz I can.

It’s definitely a case of orange vest = player in focus. Kozzie’s been training well all along but geez he was killing it while wearing the orange vest. The way he moves… it’s a joy to watch. You can almost feel his confidence rising to an even higher level. On the subject of confidence, Shane’s confidence is building more and more with each session. He’s really come out of himself. His uncle Jeremiah was there along with another family member which made him really happy. They’re visiting from Fitzroy Crossing where Shane is from. Uncle Jeremiah said I should visit sometime. I got sunstroke just thinking about it. 🥵

He’d wanna know why ‘Dirk’ and I don’t know the answer to that. Enlighten me, Layz.

Petts is happy to be a swing man. He likes that he’s useful in both areas of the ground. He has no lingering issues with his foot, it’s totally healed and healed well. He mentioned SpargiPants’s progress. He said “Charles” (that’s what the boys call him) is running at pace and is on a tailored program. Tomorrow is his running day (every Thursday) and so far he’s pulled up well after each session. Petts talked about foot/ankle injuries taking the longest recovery time with (in his opinion) achilles injuries being the “trickiest.” He said Charles is further along in his recovery than we think from just watching him on these whole-team training sessions.