Mazer Rackham

The custodians of the game would be surrendering to the coaches if they made throwing legal. The AFL had no problem going scorched earth on deliberate OOB. Why they are so timid on throwing beats me. The rules say "Handball: the act of holding the football in one hand and disposing of it by hitting it with the clenched fist of the other hand." The umpires can say "I didn't see you holding the ball in one hand, so, illegal disposal." OR "I didn't see you hitting it with a clenched fist, so, illegal disposal." The umpires department has adopted a bleeding heart approach that every time a legal handball gets penalised as a throw, then a puppy dies. So we have to be lenient. They should do it the other way. Scorched earth. So what if an occasional handball gets mistaken for a throw. (Umpires have never been perfect and never will be.) Anything that even resembles a throw should be penalised. Watch the players clean up their act within one round of football.

Very kind of you to suggest that. But no, when England go down, all is well.

And on penalties too. Seems like plucky little England -- who united the nation! -- weren't able to defeat the evil conglomerate after all. And the whole exercise was going to justify Brexit. The rest of Europe is now thankful the game was played at Wembley. The hooligans can rampage and destroy their own country now.

Have you noticed how players from all teams whinge and moan to the umpires? Especially Richmond. Some RFC players have even been known to spray personal abuse at the umps at breaks or after the game. The umps must enjoy that treatment. Is it any coincidence that RFC has a massive free kick differential against them? All teams ... except one. I can't remember Dogs players carrying on at the umps. Is it a strategy? Play nice and the umps will reward you, maybe unconsciously. In major league baseball in times gone by, when a new player came up to bat for the first time, the umps would test him out by calling near misses as strikes. Just to see if he would complain or if he just silently wore it. If the player wore it, the umps considered him a good sport and from then on, the guy would get the benefit of close calls. Not saying that's what's going on here ... naked favouritism ... but the Dogs may well have a strategy to exploit human nature, especially in an era where umpire abuse/appealing/whingeing/moaning is rampant. The umps might not even realise they're doing it!

It's important to the future of the game that GCS have some success. All those Auskick kids up there drowning out the Ausbiff kids or Austhump (or whatever the RL equivalent is) have to have something to aspire to. They're the future.

Your first hint that he is not thinking about the good of the game is the fact that he is an AFL senior coach.

When Essendon aren't playing, make the most of what you've got.

Spargo is a natural footballer whereas ANB is an athlete who has learned some football skills. Both go much better when the team system is working.

We scored 5 goals in the tournament and conceded 5. Not counting the Italy game, where we did not score. Hard to beat a team when you don't score. We did not have the firepower to win the tournament. We did well to get through the group stage having snatched victory from the jaws of defeat in the first match. We got a good old fashioned football lesson by the hardened and experienced Italians. They showed how to win high stakes low scoring pressure cooker matches. We should have learned from that instead of whingeing for 15 years.

That's because he's gone to ground, last seen hiding in a coffee shop with Mark Korda and Graham Wright.

Did I really see that? Bloke does a 720 in a tackle and gets the free

Any match featuring the flag favourites doling out a football lesson will always have wide appeal

Yes, the umps. Rules say if no prior, you must ATTEMPT to dispose correctly. If prior, you must ACTUALLY dispose correctly. There is no allowance for simply letting go of the ball. Except in the AFL umps department. I give credit to our football dept for using our coaching panel according to their strengths. Goody is best on the bench, Yze is best up in the box monitoring the game plans (ours and oppos). Still not sure what Richo brings, maybe some boxes of chips and a packet of mint slices.

Well, we powered past Port and Umpire Margetts was unable to do anything about it! Get stuffed, Umpire Margetts!

Well, that was satisfying. Nothing to do for the rest of the weekend but sit back and gloat.

Them furriners will be sent back overseas to wherever he hell it is they come from

If it comes with flowers and a card, no. If it's a slab of beer, okay.

Well, f+++ing finally. Nothing like some losses to make you realise you prefer to win.

Fairy tale scenarios died out at Collingwood with Eddie.

He won't get a senior gig at the Pies or anywhere. Everyone knows he's mad as a cut snake and who would trust their precious senior squad with someone like that. (I can recall when Malcolm Blight was considered too crazy to be a senior coach any more.) He's found his niche at this stage of his life as a development coach and if he goes anywhere, it will be as that.

Each and every one played James Bond at some point in their Hollywood career.

Ump: "Here's your answer. Jordan, under law 22.2.2 (k), I am reporting you for disputing an umpire's decision."

Just to complete the role reversal, you should have poked her with an umbrella There's no defence and I think you know that

22.2 REPORTABLE OFFENCES ... 22.2.2 Specific Offences Any of the following types of conduct is a Reportable Offence: ... (g) behaving in an abusive, insulting, threatening or obscene manner towards or in relation to an Umpire; (h) using abusive, insulting or obscene language towards or in relation to an Umpire; ... (k) disputing a decision of an Umpire;

Well, that warms the cockles of a yound lad's heart on a cold winter's night. Oh, great. That was demonstone's quiz for next week! Sung to the tune of "three blind mice" .... no, hang on, that's the umpires' song Sad to see, wasn't it? Did someone show the umps the rule book at 3/4 time? Too many vanilla slices during lockdown.