Mazer Rackham

I've always wanted to see VDB do well. But his game hasn't grown. Percentage of all players who get to 50 games: 31%. More than two thirds don't. Median number of games, all players: 19. VDB has done well for the talent the gods have given him. Good on you, VDB. Time for the next phase of life.

Does the lousy umpiring cost the AFL money? A. Yes B. No. The question answers itself.

In your duffel coat with Jobe's number on the back? DON'T SAY YOU WEREN'T WARNED

That's how they get you in. It's gateway barracking. One minute you're saying "nice, Jake" and before you know it, you're on bigfooty saying the AFL have hired hitmen to go after Hirdy.

They're just [censored] whichever way you look at it

"I'm sorry Daddy, I've been a bad girl" "For the last time, save that for the bedroom. Say 5 Hail Marys and I'll see you tonight." Bloke goes to confession. He hasn't been for many years. He steps in to the confession box and is amazed to see it's lined with the finest whiskies, the best cigars. He's staring at all this when the priest walks in. Bloke says, “Father, forgive me. It’s a long time since my last confession. I must say though, that the confessional box is much better than it used to be. Priest says, “Get out, you [censored]. You’re on my side.” Bloke goes to confession. "Father, I have sinned. I swore in anger." "Tell me about it, my son." "I was playing golf ... I hit my best drive ever ... hit it miles. It went so far, it hit some power lines going over the course." "Ah ... and that is when you swore?" "No father. The ball bounced sideways into deep impenetrable rough." "I see. That would frustrate anyone. That must be when you swore?" "No father. A magpie leapt up out of the rough with my ball in its mouth and flew away." "That would test any man's patience. So that was when you swore?" "No father. It flew over the green and dropped the ball about a foot from the hole." The priest thinks. "DON'T TELL ME YOU MISSED THE F@#&ING PUTT!?!?" Bloke goes to confession. "Forgive me father. I have been sinful with a girl of loose morals." "Who was it, my son?" "It was Mary Mulligan, father." "Say five Hail Marys. Have you sinned with any another girls of loose morals?" "Yes, father. Kate O'Donnell, father." "Say ten Our Fathers. Have you sinned with any another girls of loose morals?" "Yes, father. Fiona McGuire, father." "Put five pounds in the poor box." The priest closes the confession box and goes out the back. Another priest says "Finished already?" First priest says "You bet. I just got three great new leads."

... in one match

Oh! Sorry! Wrong table. That's the table for non-"good blokes" & non-star players. You should consult the correct table for Selwood: Star player: 1 point Finals contention: 1 point Brownlow contention: 0 points "He wouldn't have meant that": 1 point "Aw gee, we can't have players like XXX on the sidelines. The fans want to see them out on the ground": 1 point So 4 points. That's no case to answer, media appearances on the regular footy shows, and 4 weeks for a no-name player doing exactly the same thing next week.

I assumed it was the umpires, in cahoots with the Russians, trying to take down MFC in whatever way they can.

Beggin' yor pardon, sorr, but Dangerfield has achieved the coveted status of "good bloke", which brings immunity from charges of thuggery and hypocrisy. You're probably married to concepts like "justice", "fairness", "precedent", "level playing field" and other quaint notions which have no place in the degraded & corrupted sporting competition known as the AFL.

This is the very reason why once upon a time, TV & radio were not permitted to show/talk about reported incidents. But of course, the mighty money making machine, ie TV, has decreed that we even get to hear the umpires blathering to the players. So of course we see every incident over and over, from every angle, and the "expert" commentators, usually undistinguished by any "expertise" one would suppose was lent them by their on-field experience, crap on and on, free from any restraint, self discipline, or independence from club allegiances. Not to mention the umpires never report anyone anyway, having been neutered by a succession of umpires directors, in turn compromised by their buy-in to the AFL concept of rule "interpretations" and umpiring "to keep the game flowing". Does all the extra vision & microphones add to the viewing experience? Not to me. (I watch with the sound off anyway.) I prefer the old system.

We should continue to train at Casey. We shouldn't toss away whatever good will we have built up over the years. "Thanks Casey, but we've found a hotter chick. You can [censored] off." Plus, possession is nine tenths of the law. If we abandon Casey, some other club will swoop in and pick up the pieces and build on our good work. If for no other reason than to thwart them, we should continue our relationship with Casey.

The AFL tribunal doesn't believe in precedent, except on those rare occasions where it does just to keep everyone guessing. But MFC should run the "Buddy got off this" and "Selwood got off that" defence just to embarrass AFL house. Maybe, like Darth Vader, there is a shred of good still lurking deep within.

It's a prurient American spell checker which won't let through words for a bird or a cat but will let through bugger and bastard.

He & Tracc decided to share the gold

Oh, sure. Then one day, on a Friday, in football season, about 11AM, you'll be in Richmond, near Punt Road, having been shovelling dirt or working a jackhammer (or driving a tractor or welding pipes), and you'll be dying for a beer, and somehow all the nearby pubs have run out or are closed for the day, and then you'll remember the AAMI/Gosch's social club, and you'll change your tune pretty bloody quick smart.

When I see how clubs like Geelong and Footscray manage to get second and third bites at Gov't funding for upgraded facilities they already have (paid for by Gov't), it seems the important thing is to get the facility by whatever means, then work away at the gov't, like ants nibbling at a carcass, to get a second round of upgrades (for the community! not for us, oh no!), then rinse & repeat. "Minister, how can we get more girls & disabled genderqueer refugees playing sport without a small elevated viewing area -- some might call it a grandstand -- at Gosch's? Oh, and while you're at it, a function room and merchandise shop would be good too."

Sorry everyone. I started watching at 3/4 time to enjoy an avalanche of goals and instead put the mozz on the boys. Fortunately they were able to hold off the Suns' late charge.

Clarko's press conference had all the air of "I'm only leaving Hawthorn because I love the club too much. It's got nothing to do with a godfather offer from another club."

This 18 year old boy with his big grownup moustache! God these players seem to get younger and younger. Go kid! Rip 'em a new one. (Can you play KPF by the way?)

So, running the free kick differential through the old stats calculator, we find mean -0.1, standard deviation 31.8. All the team numbers fall comfortably with in 2 standard deviations, except for Dogs and Tiges approaching 3 sd (but not outside). Chance of free kick diff of -74 or less: 1.1% Chance of free kick diff of 80 or more: 0.6% So, outliers, but not implausibly so. (If you had a 1% chance of dying tomorrow, you'd be pretty worried.)

Not just the Dogs, but quite a few players across all teams have mastered the art of hurling themselves sideways to the ground at first contact. Then hug the ball to get a ball up. Umps fall for it every single time. Funny, I thought the thing they were supposed to do was attempt to dispose correctly. It should be considered prior opportunity. There was a game earlier this season, Ess v Suns I think, and Hooker of Ess had the ball, was being chased, and flung himself full length sideways to the ground. Only trouble was, he misjudged and the opposing player wasn't near him! It's a coaches wet dream, all the ways the players have to manipulate the contest and the umpiring. The game is degenerating. And the AFL admin just let it happen, right under their noses.

I'm of the school that says most "conspiracy" is better explained by "incompetence". I do wonder, given the outrageousness of what the Dogs get away with, the general lacksadaisical attitude of the AFL admin to umpiring overall, and the AFL admin's attitude to "speeding up the game" ... is if the AFL admin may have decreed from on high that the Dogs' style of play is the model for what they want to see out on the ground, in all matches. Fast ball movement, no nasty rugby mauls. Goals!! And the umps have been given the directive to encourage this style of play. So what if a few latte-sipping purists have a knot in their undies about -- ha ha! -- adherence to rules, integrity of the game, a fair contest/even playing field, and other trivialities. If the AFL ever re-discovers its integrity department, or hires an umpires director who is not pre-conditioned to the AFL admin's general corrupt attitude, then we might get somewhere. Until then, the Dogs have free reign to degenerate the game of Aussie Rules football.

And where's the ump looking? At the ball. Good one, ump. What's happening up there? A seagull dropping a chip having had prior opportunity? (Not that you'd pay it anyway.)

Sounds good on paper, but they have to concentrate on the things that win matches