Mazer Rackham

Robbo is laughable. Normal service resumed.

First AFL will say (correctly) "we can't do anything until the B sample is in" Then when the B sample comes in positive, the AFL say "season's over, we can't do nuffin about it! (dammit) (whew)"

Jones, or the kick?

Oh, they were. Didn't you see the way they went after Dale Lewis? Scorched earth! Fortunately, this time it's ASADA on the job. <<insert GIF of AFL dropping something into the "too hard" basket here>>

It was .... the AFL coaches! They got all cut about having injured players, and how it wasn't fair that a game-ending injury meant that they only had 3 rotations to the oppo's 4. Unfair! they cried. We need 3 rotations and a sub to keep it even. New rule: sub player. Later on they worked out ... hey. We've only got 3 rotations when we could have 4. Why have we got an entire player just sitting there! Doing nothing! Stupid! Whose idea was that??? The AFL, having outsourced the state of the game to coaches, was happy to rubber it stamp it each time. TL;DR: the coaches don't know what they want. There should be no coaches on "state of the game" panels.

Tom & Jesse alternating CHF and CHB, Weid FF, Tom & Weid sharing stand in ruck duties. Lots of variation and a headache for oppo coaches

Take your sleeping bag and thermos to the G and camp outside for 3 days. You will find fulfillment there.

It's an abusive relationship. We know it's not healthy but we just can't find a way to leave

You can easily see how such a discussion could escalate to violence

Lecras was saying that all constructs are fabrications of man. Nothing exists unless you believe in it. For example, in order to feel pain, it is necessary to first believe in the existence of pain. Nev was putting the theory to the test. It's always difficult to cope with your world view being turned upside down

I wanted to go for 4 SD but my controllers in the AFL deep state department thought it a bridge too far.

I'm not going to touch the "rigged" theory with a barge pole, but the above sentence leapt out at me. The words "AFL", "compromise" and "feel good narrative" do go together well. Perhaps people can think of a fairly recent example?

Car park attendant. "Next to that tree sir." (points) Usher. "Bag check this way sir." (points) "Passout exit over there sir." (points) Doughnut van vendor. "No, hot dogs are available at that van there sir." (points) Plenty of jobs for him at the MCG.

The umps are so useless they can't even get incompetency right. The AFL could save a lot of money by sacking the umps. Spin a roulette wheel every minute. Black = home team free, red = away. Green = 50m penalty. And offer in-game betting for fabulous prizes!!

We can sort this whole thing out very easily. First one to stop singing the club song on Sunday gets shot.

Look, can you just TRY to support Melbourne, even for a while?

Christian is complicit. He said a week or two back, that they CAN'T crack down on punches, because there'd be "carnage". (Does that mean that he assesses each week's matches with a view to how many charges are going to emerge? There's a fuzzy quota that can't be breached?) Let there be carnage! It would last for a week. 2 weeks max. They'd be amazed at the speed with which players would adjust. Funnily enough, the AFL was able to crack down on that scourge of the game, deliberate OOB with a "no tolerance" approach without any hand wringing. Why not for punching? Why not for throwing, dropping, in the back, etc etc? Is out of bounds the only rule in the rule book? The AFL is expert at creating grey areas. And at creating something out of nothing. They let things go (eg punching) and when people wake up and ask, why is punching de facto allowed? the AFL wring their hands and exclaim they can't do anything about it! As if it's out of their control! Christian gives Hocking cover and vice versa. Until they work out that the umpires' agenda should to ref according to rules of the game, they will continue to create these grey areas and then spend their time and energy wringing their hands and bleating. Ref it to the rule book and see how the game cleans up. Take things from there if required. (And get rid of interchange!)

This table was first posted in May and I said at the time ... "I ran those totals into a statistics web page and the standard deviation is about 340. Only North and Sydney are more than one standard deviation away from the mean. With these numbers, 8.4% and 6.6% likely. In other words, "a bit off" but not outrageous. So you might look at them. But then Wet Toast are nearly 3 SD away. In this case 0.36% likely. A definite outlier. Even a non footy fan can tell something is up."

Asked, answered

In my conspiracy theory, the AFL are too incompetent to successfully organise a rigging of anything except the draw (and Gil's bonus package). The umps were just overawed by the occasion and put in a shocker. Met their KPIs of randomness and inconsistency but barely made the main one of favouritism. They'll be offered counselling during the week, but they'll be umpiring in the bush if they do it again.

A solution in search of a problem. The AFL should f**k off their super panels of journos and coaches and have one comprising the presidents of each club's cheer squad. Get some actual fan involvement.

I have no idea what you're trying to say but what's that little squiggle after the 7 and the 0? Seriously cool! Like an old man wearing glasses or something. Loving it. Anyone know where I can find one?

Oh hell. Do we have to? I'm happy to sit in anticipation for ever!

Johnny Walker I reckon, or maybe the Bundaberg bear

No. We are DEMONS you see