The healthy mental health thread

[layzie 33,862]

I don’t know if many other people are like this. I am at a point in life where football is pretty much all I care about. I’m single, in my early 30s, social but not quite as social as I used to be. But all I look forward to during a working week is the game that we are playing and hopefully that we’ll win so I can get that temporary happy boost that seems to be lacking so much in my life right now.

Today was real hard to deal with, as I’m sure it was for many people here. I feel like most people here have other things to concentrate on but I feel like this is the only thing giving me some kind of buzz. Football is literally everything to me right now.

Probably shouldn’t even be saying all this but I have thought about doing it for a while now. 

[Earl Hood 6,086]

On 7/1/2018 at 10:37 PM, layzie said:

I don’t know if many other people are like this. I am at a point in life where football is pretty much all I care about. I’m single, in my early 30s, social but not quite as social as I used to be. But all I look forward to during a working week is the game that we are playing and hopefully that we’ll win so I can get that temporary happy boost that seems to be lacking so much in my life right now.

Today was real hard to deal with, as I’m sure it was for many people here. I feel like most people here have other things to concentrate on but I feel like this is the only thing giving me some kind of buzz. Football is literally everything to me right now.

Probably shouldn’t even be saying all this but I have thought about doing it for a while now. 

Layzie, hang in there mate. Maybe time for a change in your job? My worry is that you are depending on the Dees performances, I think we all know they will find a way to let you down, Year on Year. I know I struggled with this a few years ago but have learnt to move on from a loss very quickly, I have had to work hard on that though, I admit. You need to work to keep the MFC and it’s rials in perspective. Their failures are no reflection on you. 

[layzie 33,862]

On 7/3/2018 at 9:11 PM, Earl Hood said:

Layzie, hang in there mate. Maybe time for a change in your job? My worry is that you are depending on the Dees performances, I think we all know they will find a way to let you down, Year on Year. I know I struggled with this a few years ago but have learnt to move on from a loss very quickly, I have had to work hard on that though, I admit. You need to work to keep the MFC and it’s rials in perspective. Their failures are no reflection on you. 

I don’t doubt it Earl Hood. MFC has always had a large part of my attention, but in the last 2 years it’s like it’s gone up about 5% more. Will put off certain social events because watching us play is just not negotiable. It’s completely my fault. I’ve tried so many times to pull away just a little bit but nothing can seem to replace that void left. Nothing excites me as much as knowing we have a game on this weekend and there’s a chance we might win and have that winning feeling. Just would be great to have some kind of other outlet for the moment!

 

Thanks for your words. 

[Bluey's Dad 3,419]

On 7/1/2018 at 10:37 PM, layzie said:

I don’t know if many other people are like this. I am at a point in life where football is pretty much all I care about. I’m single, in my early 30s, social but not quite as social as I used to be. But all I look forward to during a working week is the game that we are playing and hopefully that we’ll win so I can get that temporary happy boost that seems to be lacking so much in my life right now.

Today was real hard to deal with, as I’m sure it was for many people here. I feel like most people here have other things to concentrate on but I feel like this is the only thing giving me some kind of buzz. Football is literally everything to me right now.

Probably shouldn’t even be saying all this but I have thought about doing it for a while now. 

 

I don't know you from a bar of soap, but mate those are some red flags right there.

I've called Beyond Blue a few times and it's helped enormously. Even for just a sanity check of "is what I'm going through normal or not?" it's worth a call.

Best of luck.

[layzie 33,862]

2 hours ago, Choke said:

 

I don't know you from a bar of soap, but mate those are some red flags right there.

I've called Beyond Blue a few times and it's helped enormously. Even for just a sanity check of "is what I'm going through normal or not?" it's worth a call.

Best of luck.

It’s definitely not healthy that’s for sure. It just seems like things are a little out of balance. Went out for dinner with some friends during the Freo game a few weeks ago and I really resented it because I was missing the game. 

Been seeing a psych lately, seeing them this weekend. Hopefully it helps.

 

[drysdale demon 4,837]

Rafiki, you just have to stay strong, I too have been suffering from severe depression since 2002 which led me on to the path of a compulsive gambling addiction until late 2005, which resulted in the loss of any moneys I had ever saved, my business and unfortunately my house but amazingly my wife stood by me along with my children and close friends. After a failed suicide attempt in late march 2006, I approached the salvation army in Bourke street for assistance from gamblers help. I received counselling from their Psychologist's free of charge.

I later became a spokesperson for gamblers help until late 2010 which was a great help to me as I went about trying to prevent other's from going down the same path.

Exercise is a fantastic aid to anyone suffering from depression and I strongly urge you to keep doing it, I did a lot of boxing over a 20 year period from my mid teens and kept it at times but since 2007 i still train 3 to 4 days a week. I also do voluntary work at the local salvo's store for about 20 hrs a week and I find this of great benefit as it gives you a feeling of worthiness.

Take care of yourself.

 

 

[Earl Hood 6,086]

30 minutes ago, layzie said:

It’s definitely not healthy that’s for sure. It just seems like things are a little out of balance. Went out for dinner with some friends during the Freo game a few weeks ago and I really resented it because I was missing the game. 

Been seeing a psych lately, seeing them this weekend. Hopefully it helps.

 

Hang in there Layzie! I have used aerobic and resistance exercise in the past to work through my depressive episodes. I found it worked wonders but it is not that easy to get started if you are lacking motivation.

So I set a goal to get back on the tennis court, I hadn’t played for 20 plus years but had been a good junior player but gave up as I started to lose games and became more interested in playing team sports like football.

The exercise got me back on the court and socialising with other players. And the best thing was I no longer worry about whether I win or not! When I was young losing used to cripple me mentally for days. 

[layzie 33,862]

12 hours ago, Earl Hood said:

Hang in there Layzie! I have used aerobic and resistance exercise in the past to work through my depressive episodes. I found it worked wonders but it is not that easy to get started if you are lacking motivation.

So I set a goal to get back on the tennis court, I hadn’t played for 20 plus years but had been a good junior player but gave up as I started to lose games and became more interested in playing team sports like football.

The exercise got me back on the court and socialising with other players. And the best thing was I no longer worry about whether I win or not! When I was young losing used to cripple me mentally for days. 

Yeah Earl Hood exercise is definitely key. Its something I've always tried to keep part of my routine for self esteem and obviously health purposes. Running and weights were definitely my things. I have found in the last 12 months or so I've really struggled with my running due to some persistent shin splint issues and the fact that all of a sudden it felt like running became 3 times harder for some reason. So I find myself at the moment going to the gym each night doing either the bike or the eliptical trainer. Also one a week I'll do weights.

This is all beneficial of course but I think its a bit stale. I think I really need to lash out and try boxing or something different. Its just tough because when you're like this you also get so set in your ways! 

[layzie 33,862]

So yeah nearly 2 years on from that and I think it's safe to say things are different for absolutely everyone now. I'd love to know how people are dealing with the current climate. Personally I thought I was doing quite well keeping up exercise, getting more into drawing but it's hit me lately that the isolation and lack of connecting with others is starting to get to me. A bit more irritable and a lot more defensive, things that would have just been ribbings and a joke I'm taking much more to heart. Yoga has been something that has definitely kept things on a sold base.

How is everyone else going? Might get no comments might get many, either way is ok and I'd be happy to hear from you. 

[Jaded No More 68,966]

On 8/1/2020 at 11:16 PM, layzie said:

So yeah nearly 2 years on from that and I think it's safe to say things are different for absolutely everyone now. I'd love to know how people are dealing with the current climate. Personally I thought I was doing quite well keeping up exercise, getting more into drawing but it's hit me lately that the isolation and lack of connecting with others is starting to get to me. A bit more irritable and a lot more defensive, things that would have just been ribbings and a joke I'm taking much more to heart. Yoga has been something that has definitely kept things on a sold base.

How is everyone else going? Might get no comments might get many, either way is ok and I'd be happy to hear from you. 

I think this is a very hard time for everyone in Victoria. I feel blessed to have my husband with me because my friends who live alone are doing it so much tougher. 
Our biggest struggle has been financial, seeing our business dropping 70% has been absolutely devastating and the anxiety of getting through the months ahead is real. 
I find that exercise hour is the absolute key for me. I get out everyday and just walk for an hour. It keeps me absolutely sane, as does FaceTiming my friends. We’ve been doing weekly trivia which has been great. And fortnightly dinner catchups. 
I’m glad they are letting single people have a bubble with another household. That will help massively. 
I strongly recommend people take up the mental health plan available through the government. It’s easy to obtain and easy to do with telehealth. 
Stay strong all our Victorian fans. We will get through this. [censored] 2020!

[layzie 33,862]

12 hours ago, Jaded said:

I think this is a very hard time for everyone in Victoria. I feel blessed to have my husband with me because my friends who live alone are doing it so much tougher. 
Our biggest struggle has been financial, seeing our business dropping 70% has been absolutely devastating and the anxiety of getting through the months ahead is real. 
I find that exercise hour is the absolute key for me. I get out everyday and just walk for an hour. It keeps me absolutely sane, as does FaceTiming my friends. We’ve been doing weekly trivia which has been great. And fortnightly dinner catchups. 
I’m glad they are letting single people have a bubble with another household. That will help massively. 
I strongly recommend people take up the mental health plan available through the government. It’s easy to obtain and easy to do with telehealth. 
Stay strong all our Victorian fans. We will get through this. [censored] 2020!

Thanks for your thoughts Jaded it's much appreciated. It's great that you have your partner but by no means does that mean it's heaps easier than us who are alone.

The financial impact has been terrible with me as well. Had an investment portfolio that I was steadily building throughout the last 5 years with the view of buying property around now which had about 30% of it gutted instantly. Had my work hours cut to 30 a week (Which I'm very grateful to still have a job, for now). I've tried real hard to not think about the finance side.

It's funny because I always consider myself someone who can get by well in my own company and don't always feel up for the Zoom/Facetime/Skype stuff but I have I have to agree Jaded this is one of the single most beneficial things you can do right now and you usually always feel good for having done it. I was playing online boardgames with some friends on Fri night though a site called boardgamearena.com. Trivia would be a great thing to try next actually. 

Then there's the exercise, I would be absolutely stuffed without it right now. If I had one bit of advice for people of all fitness levels it would purely be to get out in the fresh air once a day. For 60 min, 30 min, 5 min, even 1 min just do it.

[Craig Hutchinson 126]

Very proud of you all for comments ! The MFC is leading the clubs ( lead by Angus B and Gawny ) on this issue !

Hutchy

[layzie 33,862]

Thought it might be time to check in again and see how everyone is going. We certainly didn't see September 2021 being like this, in more ways than one!

In brief 2021 has been way harder for me personally than 2020. I felt like last year there was a certain novelty to being at home and having to do things like exercise, socialising and work from the comfort of one room. This just isn't there any more for me I'm afraid and it's not the stuff that we all know about bit its my coping mechanisms that dont seem to be getting the balance required. For instance Yoga was a saviour for me last year and I was happy to stay disciplined and get the mat out at home and keep the routine going. Then we went back to physical classes and I remembered just how beneficial doing yoga in a group was. Of course we go into lock down again and for whatever reason I'm finding it hard to muster up the motivation and self discipline to practice how I would normally and when I do manage to practice it just isn't having the benefits mentally that I'd like. Quite often I'm still pent up with anxiety and thoughts going at a million miles an hour during and after a session. 

Being able to 'shut off' Is a real key action if you are able to do it but it has not been easy at all.

Interested to hear about others experiences lately and what are you some things that keep you going? 

[BenF 56]

Has social media and even sites like made it even worse for people with anxiety and depression? Do some people feel it more than others? It seems like we had to reply on these things like group chats to get by and now it seems to have opened up a whole new world where it can amplify depression. I'd like to hear what people think on this, is there a point where there can be too much digital?

The line feels blurred and it can be hard to tell who is your friend anymore I find. It is hard to develop trust through words on a screen. Keen to hear thoughts.

Edited August 18, 2022 by BenF

[layzie 33,862]

35 minutes ago, BenF said:

Has social media and even sites like made it even worse for people with anxiety and depression? Do some people feel it more than others? It seems like we had to reply on these things like group chats to get by and now it seems to have opened up a whole new world where it can amplify depression. I'd like to hear what people think on this, is there a point where there can be too much digital?

The line feels blurred and it can be hard to tell who is your friend anymore I find. It is hard to develop trust through words on a screen. Keen to hear thoughts.

I'm going to deep dive on this because I think I know what you're saying and I have some experience in this area. I'm also too old now to care about what people think. I'm a sufferer of anxiety and depression and that's my lot, hopefully I'll be able to help some others like yourself in some shape or form.

Digital communication has been one of this biggest blessings around, I don't know how we would have got through lockdowns without it. However I have to say, I seriously struggle with most forms of social media. In my 20s I used facebook every moment of the day, until one day I just decided I wasn't going to look at it much anymore. The only things I use it for are for events, some news and to promote the podcast I run. Then you got the messenger apps and group chats. After a while of lockdown it was occuring to me that these things were really tiring, everything is geared up to give you a dopamine hit whether it's seeing the facebook notifications or reactions in chats. I easily get myself into a mindset that if I'm in a group chat and I've said something and no-one reacts they just 'leave you on read' then it really affects me. Some groups I'm in don't even answer questions you ask, I liken this to saying someone at a party and the other 5 friends you're with in the circle just don't say anything. I'm not saying the way I think about this is the right way but it is very tiring.

The one thing I learned about heavily relying on those platforms for communication and spending A LOT of time on them is that after a while your mind goes into that world. Everything magnifies: every word people say, every reaction, even every non comment and just times when you check and nothing is there. That platform has become your outer world.

Let's move to dear old Demonland, which I love and still believe it's the best place you'll find to talk about the Dees. However after winning a flag and having a very enjoyable season I am finding myself on here as much if not more than I've ever been. It's been good but I've been on so much lately that this world has become my outer world. I've been at the point where I talk on here more than I do to family or friends! Everything magnified and anything that happened in here was getting the bulk of my attention. Yet aside from a handful of people here most people are randoms who I've never met before. I had a harsh realisation of this just this week actually. Someone who I'd been speaking to quite a bit and I thought I was getting to know took something I said in one of the threads to them completely the wrong way and have stopped talking to me. It's a reminder that although you think you can form good connections over the internet that really you don't know each other and was the biggest lesson I've taken out of this week. That most people on DL, although probably very nice people, do not know me. 

If you feel the same way lately you might feel your world has been turned upside down a bit. You may take things that happen on a site like this so seriously but be very careful. Not to sound like a father but the screen doesn't love you, your actual friends and family who know you love you. 

Don't be afraid to do a digital detox. I've done it many times and did it this week as well. There's never any point being upset with what happens here or anywhere online, it's not abnormal but I'd much rather be using that stress on something actually important.

Sorry that was long winded, hope I'm on the right track. 

[kev martin 9,951]

From my impressions in this world on group dynamics, it seems generally speaking that each individual will be liked by a 1/3rd, disliked by a 1/3rd and found indifferent by a 1/3rd.

The numbers don't change by much, except for the very popular or the difficult. Plus or minus 20%.

In life we must be grateful to those who are positive towards us, as just as many are against us.

Those who dislike us will always be here, best to figure out how to deal with that fact. What they say can be useful, irrelevant or about themselves. Up to each of us to figure that feedback out.

It is just the way it is.

So digital communications merely highlights this. Anonymity offers those who live on a more negative plane of being a less consequential effect when expressing their truth. Face to face they are more likely to be quiet. The old, "if you don't have something positive to say", is not socially supported in the digital world, as there are less consequences. 

In a way, digital is bringing out our true social nature and the interactions. 

We do take rejection and ostracisation serious. It is an impossibility to be loved by all.

If we have a few true ones around, then we are blessed.

For those without, don't be too hard on yourself, relationships are the most difficult aspect of our modern life.

Again, a 1/3rd and a 1/3rd and a 1/3rd.

All is a mirror and a master. 

Edited August 18, 2022 by kev martin

[layzie 33,862]

8 hours ago, kev martin said:

From my impressions in this world on group dynamics, it seems generally speaking that each individual will be liked by a 1/3rd, disliked by a 1/3rd and found indifferent by a 1/3rd.

The numbers don't change by much, except for the very popular or the difficult. Plus or minus 20%.

In life we must be grateful to those who are positive towards us, as just as many are against us.

Those who dislike us will always be here, best to figure out how to deal with that fact. What they say can be useful, irrelevant or about themselves. Up to each of us to figure that feedback out.

It is just the way it is.

So digital communications merely highlights this. Anonymity offers those who live on a more negative plane of being a less consequential effect when expressing their truth. Face to face they are more likely to be quiet. The old, "if you don't have something positive to say", is not socially supported in the digital world, as there are less consequences. 

In a way, digital is bringing out our true social nature and the interactions. 

We do take rejection and ostracisation serious. It is an impossibility to be loved by all.

If we have a few true ones around, then we are blessed.

For those without, don't be too hard on yourself, relationships are the most difficult aspect of our modern life.

Again, a 1/3rd and a 1/3rd and a 1/3rd.

All is a mirror and a master. 

Excellent post Kev and you’re absolutely right. Not everyone is going to like you in life, that is just a fact plain and simple. Digital platforms not only give a voice to negativity but also ignorance. It can play on your mind when someone hasn’t ‘liked’ your message or someone you usually speak with or comments on your posts suddenly stops.

If you have unconditional friendships and relationships, please don’t take them for granted. Put in the time with them. Know that there will be people who won’t like you and learn the best way to deal with it. Much easier said than done and it’s something I find extremely difficult myself because I really like to at least be ‘ok’ with everyone and not raise too much conflict, especially on here. Not everyone is like this of course.

Find the best way to be ok with yourself and don’t ever let other people on here or anywhere online make you feel inferior or as if you are a lesser person than you are. If you have good intentions and your heart is in this right place then there’s nothing more you can do.

[Guest]

Sounds simple but…

Be kind to a person unless and until they give you a reason not to be.

Always err on the side of: someone is going through a tough time therefore cut them some slack. 

Don’t judge someone (with whom you’ve interacted solely online) based on one-dimensional texts/posts as they simply cannot convey tone.

LISTEN to a person. Really listen. Hearing someone is one thing, we can all do that. But to listen (in the true sense of the word) is priceless and all too uncommon. It’s a skill that can and should be learned.

And for some, all the world is sunshine and lollipops and rainbows and unicorns. But that’s ok. Let them be, because for all you know they may suffer Depression and have done so for decades and/or are only 18 months down the track on the road to recovery from a 16-year-long addiction. That’s just an example, of course. But it’s something to bear in mind when next you meet someone, be it online or otherwise.

 

 

 

[layzie 33,862]

Generalised anxiety disorder can come up in many ways. I don't know if anyone else experienced this but recently I was unfortunately the recipient of 2 rather intense panic attacks. They came totally out of no-where and in a situation where it was not exactly easy to escape, driving.

The reality that I've learned in the last few weeks is that the instant reaction is to try and treat the attack, make it go away and prevent it from coming back. However it appears this is just a symptom.

I've learned to live with anxiety as a way of life, most of the time I can keep it under control but the end of last year and start of this year have been pretty difficult. I'm coming round to the idea that these attacks are showing up because my general anxiety set point has been raised along with the fact that I have gone through a fair bit of change in the last 6 months.

If anyone has experienced anything like this let us know.  

[Cassiew 1,903]

I recently broke up with the guy who bought my ticket for the grand final. He invited me over for a game in 2022. We went together and ended up in a relationship. He was considerably younger than me and it was very flattering that someone that age would be attracted to be. I’d fly over for west coast or Freo games. 
We finally mutually agreed that it wasn’t going to work, being the distance and the fact that we only got to see each other a few times a year. It was a friendly break up, but it still hurts. I’m glad glad I have a wonderful and close family that loves me and supports me

[Demonstone 22,638]

Long distance relationships are notoriously difficult and I know from experience just how hard it is.

Hang in there, @Cassiew.  Here's something to help you get through a tough time.

 

[Cassiew 1,903]

Thanks. I don’t mind living alone. But just the daily reminder of being single 

[layzie 33,862]

It's very easy to forget a lot of what has been mentioned in this thread. Even for the people saying it.

[redandbluemakepurple 359]

I had a bit of a stress breakdown in mid 2022 with an inability to sleep and being stressed about an inability to sleep.

My GP as well as the temporary sleeping pills, got me onto the Smiling Mind app.  I was surprised but this helped.  Seeing that I am a sceptical type of guy, I would acknowledge the incongruity, by making the joke  that lesson 12 is levitating.  Insight Timer was also recommended but this is more complex and heavy duty.

How are you doing, Layzie?

All the Best

R.

 

[layzie 33,862]

On 07/04/2024 at 01:42, redandbluemakepurple said:

I had a bit of a stress breakdown in mid 2022 with an inability to sleep and being stressed about an inability to sleep.

My GP as well as the temporary sleeping pills, got me onto the Smiling Mind app.  I was surprised but this helped.  Seeing that I am a sceptical type of guy, I would acknowledge the incongruity, by making the joke  that lesson 12 is levitating.  Insight Timer was also recommended but this is more complex and heavy duty.

How are you doing, Layzie?

All the Best

R.

 

Hey redandbluemakepurple and sorry for the late reply. These paradox like situations where you get stressed about something and then get stressed about the stress of something are the worst. I'm really sorry to hear that the issue is regarding sleep though which we all obviously need. 

And when it comes to scepticism, you really only need a little bit of it for the things to get thrown up in the air. I started the year doing 20 mins of meditation every day, it was a commitment but I did feel like the benefits were there. Yet even though I know there were benefits, I haven't done one minute of it for the last 3 months. The conscious mind wants to be doing something all the time and makes excuses to not do it like lack of time etc. Long story short, the mind is a powerful tool, but sometimes it is powerful in finding ways to stuff us up!

I'm not sure if you've heard of Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) but I've recently tried to delve into it again. If you're sceptical then this one will seem out there, I've never had massive breakthroughs with it but one thing I find that almost always happens when I do it is I feel a 'shift' and a reset in the physical body. If sleep is an issue and you've tried a few things I'd recommend trying this at least once or twice before bed. Doesn't cost anything and minimal time is needed. Happy to provide some resources if you're keen to know more. 

Take it easy!