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by Whispering Jack

When Thomas Wentworth Wills sat down to pen the rules for the new game of Australian Rules football he could have hardly imagined that he was setting the scene for the fiasco of a contest that would mark the 150th anniversary of the sport he invented and which was first played at Yarra Park, roughly in the same ball park as that which hosted last night's game between the game's first two clubs – Melbourne and Geelong. That first game lasted three weeks; last night's performance lasted two and a half hours but it seemed like three weeks.

Fittingly, the two teams came out attired in the fashionable style of 19th century footballers but unfortunately for the hardy crowd of supporters who came to see the home side, their team played the game in a style much as you would expect from a bunch of half fit out of season cricketers from that era, while the visitors from across the bay, performed as a professional, well drilled outfit of the modern day. The gulf between the teams appeared to be exactly 150 years.

On the evidence of this game, there was little wonder why the powers that be who run our sport decided to snub the historic occasion and fled instead to watch the Olympics in smog-filled Beijing. Ironical too, because back in the days when our game was being conceived, thousands of residents from that land were arriving in our own fledgling colony searching for new fortunes in the form of the gold that was being mined in the bushland outside Melbourne. History records that they didn't bother to embrace our sport in any great numbers. Perhaps they had a premonition about last night's game!

To be fair, Geelong was not all that far from its full strength and is, after all, the raging favourite to win the premiership this year while Melbourne was young, inexperienced and a team that has been ravaged by injury over the past two years. There is no need to conduct a roll call of those missing from its best side to gain an appreciation of how deep a cut has been caused to the team's fibre by the numbers of those missing in action. Many of those who are left are lacking in body size and strength necessary to take on the best side in the land in the cold wet conditions that prevailed during the game. They need time.

Plenty of time!

The result was that Geelong managed to amass 24 goals to five on a damp night and almost held Melbourne scoreless for an entire first half which is not such an unusual result given that, for large slabs of that eminently forgettable hour, both sides seemed to be heading in the direction of the same goals. The difference was that the Cats were attacking theirs, while the Demons were aimlessly seeking to defend who knows what?

The ultimate embarrassment came with Melbourne's first score – a point that was recorded 9 minutes into the second quarter as a result of a fumble across the goal line by Geelong defender Josh Hunt. The first goal from Austin Wonaeamirri came after a few squandered attempts. By then, the visitors had already booted their first ten and we were already 24 minutes and 13 seconds into the quarter. Along the way, Melbourne players committed every sin in the football handbook: they struggled to get the ball but when they did, they used it poorly, made some shocking decisions, they fumbled, dropped marks, kicked often directly to unmarked opponents, tackled without conviction and generally failed to man up on their opponents.

On the other hand, Geelong's performance was sublime although, in effect, it was more of a training drill than a sporting contest and the 34,610 fans who braved the conditions would have a fair case for demanding their money back – even those who got in on freebies.

AS for the umpires, they were able to match Melbourne pound for pound for ineptitude and incompetence. Thanks for putting the icing on the cake and reminding us of the bushranger heritage and tradition of our state, Messrs. Donlon, Kennedy and Ryan!

What can one say about the oldest club in the world after a week in which it launched a massive fund raising campaign to save itself from extinction? The Demons have a difficult battle on their hands to right the ship both on and off the field but as far as their future as a team is concerned, there were still some faint glimpses of hope among the gloom of the night.

Youngsters Addam Maric and Shane Valenti worked their butts off all evening against bigger, stronger and more experienced opponents and there was a lot to like from the displays of two young embattled defenders in Stefan Martin and James Frawley. Irrespective of the result, this game would have provided a learning experience for Bailey's young side that will hold it in good stead for years to come. If they can learn from the way in which Geelong found space, moved the ball to its advantage and never stopped running, then one day, the wheel will start turning for the Demons.

It would be remiss of me to omit to mention the contribution of Matthew Whelan who was fantastic against the odds in defence. He set an example not only for his younger team mates but also for some of the veterans who are surely on their last legs at the club. Cameron Bruce, Nathan Carroll and Brad Green also worked hard against the odds.

Last night's game was played in honour of Tom Wills and nicely ended a week in which alcohol tore apart one old football club and another went to its supporters with begging cup in hand to ensure its survival. Wills died in 1880, an isolated, destitute alcoholic, after stabbing himself in the heart. The scene that was played out yesterday evening at the MCG was therefore a fitting memorial to the most important Australian sportsman of the time.

Melbourne 0.0.0 1.3.9 2.6.18 5.11.41

Geelong 8.5.53 12.7.79 19.10.124 24.13.157

Goals

Melbourne Valenti 2 C Johnson P Johnson Wonaeamirri

Geelong Lonergan Stokes 4 Prismall 3 G Ablett Bartel Ling Mackie 2 Blake Gamble S Johnson Mooney Selwood

Best

Melbourne Whelan Maric Martin Bruce Valenti Frawley

Geelong Mackie Ling Selwood Corey Scarlett Prismall

Injuries

Melbourne McDonald (wrist) Wonaemirri (ankle)

Geelong Blake (elbow)

Reports Nil

Changes

Melbourne Jamar - ill replaced in selected side by White

Umpires Donlon Kennedy Ryan

Crowd 34,610 at the MCG

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