Earl Hood

Whoops!

Well I had assumed this thread was locked after I made the brave call on the smutty nature of the talk here by those I have identified as the chattering classes, the proleteriate as some call it. I assumed the moderators would act appropriately but apparently not! So the good doctor, DC and others can continue their smutty innuendos ad infinitum!

Interesting comment Pro as some here have commented on his similar physique and explosive speed to Jacko. I think Jacko was only about 6'1 but I think he could still play FF these days. Wonder if the Trac has the same speed over 10 or 20m and that X factor ability (that you can't teach) to kick goals from anywhere.

What has happened to the old Aussie Davis Cup team ethos? Remember Rosewell and Hoad, Newcombe, Roche, Cash and Co, all were tough, competitors and friends through thick and thin. What is going on now? Tomic and Kyrios could be very good but are now sniping each other. What is it about Oz tennis players these days? Lleyton needs to get both of them in a room and bang a few heads together, maybe bring in Rochey as well to give them a reality check.

Or Uncle B make things worse? While you and I can have rational discussions on these matters, I fear the chattering classes, typified by the likes of DC, Biffen and Moons to name but a few, will just take anything I say and turn it into smut! I feel not unlike poor Carinal Pell, you can't win, no matter what you say. However yes some of my employees are very dark haired, of Spanish stock, shall we say, so they could be described as hirsute, but only in the right places if you understand me. I have banned razor blades in the Manor on OH&S grounds, as any responsible employer would and I demand to do weekly inspections to verify that we comply with all these guidelines. These are the burdens of leadership. Hudson's role is very simple, to manage and chaperone the maids to the ATM every week to withdraw half their wage in cash to put back into our housekeeping fund in line with the industry norm set by employer companies such as 711 etc. guava paste, well it is doing me a treat as I stated earlier, all I can say is I am hard as nails and am working with Blackmores, it could be worth mega dollars.

Good heavens a simple request for advice about one of my employees degenerates into smutty discussions, as if between a group of year 7 boys of transvestites and lords taking first dibs at the local village virgin. No wonder I try to limit my contact with the proletariat!

I am seeking advice from my fellow Dlanders. It has recently come to my attention an accusation that my favourite scullery maid, Conchita has been stealing from my wine collection! I have checked the cellar and yes there are bottles of Tempranillo, Sangiovese and Merlot missing ( could be BBO though) but then again my bookkeeping on these matters can be a bit erratic at times. I however feel betrayed, I brought my helper over from Columbia for her unique cleaning skills on a 457 Visa. I offered her the median wage of $55K per year and the usual requirement that she accompany my main Man, Hudson to the ATM to withdraw $500 every week to put back to our housekeeping fund. What more can I do?

Thanks for you advice Uncle B and sorry for the late reply. I prepared a tasty, nutritious meal on Monday night, a lightly grilled fillet of lean kangaroo leg with a small quinoa salad washed down with two bottles of Paul Osicka Shiraz 2012 as you recommended. Well I seemed to have missed Tuesday somewhere? I remember not feeling well, obviously something dodgey with the salad and decided to go to bed but I woke up face down in the bathroom and a check in on my mobile showed it was Wednesday? I think I need to re-evaluate the fitness advice I have received here on DL. Wellbeing programs need to be individually tailored I suspect.

Yes BBO you may have a point there. I have of recent years strayed away from that old staple shiraz. I have been partaking of your more boutique grape varieties, pinots, malbecs, Merlots etc. Certainly my former Adonis like physique has deteriorated in recent years since I last opened a bottle of Shiraz. That must be the problem, who needs the Man Challenge. Thanks for your advice Uncle B.

DC I wouldn't be paying for your advice, I don't live in quarter acre block Borewood home! I live in a Fitzroy warehouse, I don't have a Hills Hoist to run around. OD I eat quite well, no fat, all ancient grains and salads with some lean protein serves at night, all washed down with a bottle of quality red wine, I mean I don't believe I need dietary advice as I am ticking all the dietry boxes as far as I can see. Still there seems to be a calorie problem somewhere? Maybe Roosey can resolve the problem.

I am thinking of signing up for the Man Challenge 10 week fitness routine to shed some weight but I note Paul Roos is the coach along with other high profile sports people as mentors. My worry is that Roosey gets distracted from our pre season with my exercise routine and he neglects Jonesy and co. its $20 a week to join. What should I do?

BBO said Earl Hood just a reminder I'm still awaiting information on whether or not you were successful in abusing the 357 visa system to obtain new servants? My maids are refusing to wear the uniforms I supply and was I hoping to find some errr shall we say more compliant employees. This is part of your problem BBO, you have the wrong visas, I may use the 457 visa regulations for skilled migrant workers to my advantage. But I know nothing of the 357 variety you speak of. Now as you know I have offered my consulting services that can help humble, rural small businesses such as your own Uncle. It's not rocket science but you would be astounded by how many times we see small businesses making the simplist of errors, like paying their employees the legal hourly rate, or even paying the 9% super contribution. We even see businesses paying sick leave and long service leave entitlements. I mean it is seems ridiculous in this day and age but there you go. We have consulted to 711, Dominos, all the successful companies. We have the blueprint for success and we can give it to you. Success awaits you, just give us a call!

Nothing about the shirt per se Defrog, I was in fact wearing similar colourful, tropical shirts during my recent I'll fated missions to Cuba and Mexico where such garb is expected. But this is not the case in a place such as Melbourne. Black is more the fashionable colour here in our sub, sub tropical climate. Now Perth is different, I don't know what the fashion is over there, are Hawaiian shirts the in thing in Cottesloe these days?

Biff I thought you might have used your break to update your wardrobe, specifically your shirts, but obviously not. You weren't anywhere near FNQ were you?

Cheap hotel rates in cyclone season BBO? Or are you tenting it, if so watch out for crocs on the move?

Good to see a full page spread in today's Age (page 31) on your good self DC, the Ghost Who Walks. What I didn't know and you have kept to yourself, such is your modesty, is that you carried out a special assignment for Prime Minister Hawke back in 1992! What was that secret assignment, to take out Keating?

As my Christian Brother maths teacher used to beat into me so often, what are the units, boy? Numbers are meaningless without them!

Gee interesting chart there DC. I am amazed that there were only 139 bananas produced in 2012 and only 18 bananas exported in 2011, hardly seems it would be worth it. I mean I eat that many myself in a year so thank heavens we produce heaps of our own here in Oz.

Moons, I just want to confirm your point about punctuation!!!

True DC there is nothing scarier than the thought of President D Trump!

OD surely you meant that he says it before he thinks! Positively scary to think he could be in charge if something happened to No 1.

Is it time to talk guava paste instead?

Great memories Maca. I had the single or EP and Green River was the B side but that was my favourite song.

Hmmm men's final could be over very quickly at this rate. Murray doesn't look right.

Well that was some match, as good as I have seen in women's tennis. Great win by a girl who was not overwhelmed by the Williams circus and power game. Great effort