Earl Hood

DFrog Are you moving to Onslow or Wyndham or even further north?

RL I have been too busy lately, test driving C3 1970's Corvette Stingrays. I am still searching for one with Pickett's Starsky & Hutch stripe down the middle as this would be one hell of a chick magnet car I would think based on Pickett's experiences in the 70's.

I have heard the ads on SEN about the Thai Lady Boy Gala stage show. Really will anyone show up? This was done to death in the 70's with Les Girls surely.

Well it is mission accomplished as far as I am concerned Two months ago I conceived a cunning plan to derail the Hawk's 4peat campaign, they were on a 7 game winning streak, had beaten the Swans in Sydney, demolished the Tigers and had moved 2 games clear on top of the ladder and they were giving me the shytes no end. And as the wife and in-laws are all mad hawks supporters there was a high level of tension in the household every Dawks game night as I have a developed a pathological hatred for them over the years for obvious reasons. My plan was simply to place a large bet on them to win the flag. I haven't placed a bet on anything for 20 years because I have never won so much as a football club raffle in years of buying raffle tickets for local causes and as for horses or tattslotto forget it. In short I had put the "Curse of The Hood" on the team. Once the bet was laid at 4.5 to 1 in my new Sportsbet account, I found I was totally calm on game night and was quite happy for the Dawks to smash their opponents. It was quite therapeutic actually. And I really did think the Dawks were a real chance to win the flag as their main competitors were looking to be in average form. And the winnings would go toward my next project to buy a C3 corvette stingray that my wife believes is utter folly. She keeps saying it is impractical to buy a 40 year old, gas guzzling, 2 seater with barely enough luggage space to store a tennis racquet. I mean really what would she know! A few weeks later I watch the Dees beat them for the first time in 10 years, Stratton goes down, then the Weagles stitch them up and Ceglar goes down and all of a sudden the team looks old and slow but still has some fight left. And they certainly looked slow on Friday night as the Bulldogs ran all over them. Mitchell, Hodge and Gibson all seemed to be losing form over the last few weeks and they looked very human and battle scarred. Poor Clarko must have been scratching his head and the sports journo's as to what went wrong but now you all know the real reason. Looks like I will have to save a bit longer for the Corvette But please remember to gamble responsibly!

I read today how Carlton and Essendrug are into Declain etc. Why don't we have first dibs on Casey talent like the interstate clubs have first call on their academy kids? It would encourage AFL teams to align with VFL clubs if they knew they had first call on their talent, surely.

Nothing to see here I am afraid Uncle, just meticulous contingency planning on my part. Of course we want our customers to have the full Cairo to Constantinople Middle East Desert experience. They have asked to have the full Lawrance of Arabia experience, camping in Bedouin huts, riding a camel through Wadi Rum and charging into Aqaba and so on. To make this happen I often need to stay in the nearest major city to negotiate our way with the local governors. Choncita, the administrator, extraordinaire makes it all happen of course. We are all about customer service you know.

Aleppo PD? There are still seats available on my Cairo to Constantinople Grand Tour. Aleppo or what's left of it anyway, is one of the scenic highlights of this trip of a lifetime, however short that might be. Can I count you in?

Uncle you realise that while Biffo was in court today some poor sod fell out of a window at the Gat head first! Once he leaves others in charge, the place turns to chaos. Why is he so persecuted by the plod?

Gee there you go, all those shanigans going in my own backyard and I knew nothing of it. I have walked past the Laird numerous times but now that I think of it, it was always on one of my Saturday or Sunday morning constitutionals so from the outside at that time of day it always looked to me like it was a former hotel converted into apartments.

Dino lucky you didn't walk down the street to The Peel Hotel you would probably need counselling!

DC you are reminding me of the Wicker Man!

Yes Uncle I was thinking the same myself. Please can you pass on your address to me and I will send around two of my people to give you a bonus that you truly deserve!

If my memory serves me correctly I am sure I was quaffing a reasonable Merlot the last time I visited the Braybrook just before the brawl started over whether you could shoot backwards after your opponent had put the white ball in off a coloured ball. Come to think of it I never got to finish that Merlot, it ended up on someone's head!

Yes Emerald I have brought my Guava sales samples with me to take on South America myself after the Olympics, if I happen to pick up a bronze or silver, that would be a bonus. I have learnt my lesson after letting the likes of Uncle B do my bidding in Asia, a highly expensive debacle. Better I make my own contacts and sales in Brazil and then off further south.

Yes there have been some misunderstandings this week but I have emerged a better person I believe. And yes I have been off the air recently as I have been in transit to Rio following a distress call from Kitty to back up for the tennis squad! Kyrios has pulled the pin so I am there if needed for doubles action! Bring it on.

The latest update from Fitzroy Street is the police have some guy in a light blue Hawaiin tee shirt cornered on the roof of the Gatwick Inn. I wonder what this is all about?

Biff what the hell is going on News reports are that the Gat is surrounded by police and they in a stand off with some desperate character! Haven't you been paying your bills?

Or game plan? I assume the players are playing to instructions that are based on what they practice at training! Just a guess by me, it may be all quite different and maybe players make it up as they go.

Nut just the same this time, some 9 years later, a 3 hour 35 song tour de force by The Cure on Thursday night. A. Great show and Robert Smith somehow does all the vocals and utilises 5 or 6 guitars as he works his way through 30 plus of his own songs, the man is a genius. No other band has the same sound and in a 40 year career he has never had to contemplate a need to accommodate the latest music fad because the Cure is the Cure I suppose. Anyway I was again blown away by their music just as I was when they last toured here in 2007. What has changed in those 9 years is their audience, the Gothics have gone since 2007 and have been replaced by a large number of younger people with iPhones etc. great nights entertainment.

PDee can you vouch for the canapés at the local Mont Albert Ladies tennis club? I have it on good authority that they are second to none!

DC business never stops as you know. i must drop in to the Mont Albert tennis club to check out the afternoon tea! I am thinking about rebooting my tennis career. Do you think they could use a right hander with a lethal backhand and a big kicking serve?

It has been a sad week with the passing of Lady Susan Renouf, the doyen of Melbourne Society. Of course I attended the farewell with the rest of the who is who of Melbourne society. It was great to catch up with my old University chums Andy Peacock, Bluey Walker, Bobby Doyle and Micky Kroger. And the cream of Melbourne's matrons were there of course to pay their respects It was a marvellous farewell at Saint Andrews Church in Brighton and later on at the reception, well at least until the congenial atmosphere was somewhat sullied by the appearance of an unlikely character who I observed scoffing the canapés, sculling the bubbly and touching up some of the matrons, one of whom shrieked "what are you doing here DC?"

Or me running into my Triad money lenders who I knew nothing about until your recent trip to Asia! But however I have been agile enough to avoid because I am in the FNQ tropics!

BB don't you live bayside? If it goes in the drain it is coming your way! Better off being processed and pre-treated by Moons prior to entering the sewer system to be fully treated at Werribee!

Uncle as you know I am waiting for your paperwork. You know some receipts to verify your excessive expenses in China for a start! Any receipts for expenses We incurred from your Malaysian venture would be a bonus as we never knew you were going there!!!