Earl Hood

Can someone explain the article in today's Age that rated the liveability of all Melbourne's suburbs? If you can please explain to me how Borewood comes in at 80 out of 321 and ahead of Fitzroy at 82? Good heavens I mean the two suburbs are like chalk and cheese. And then the suburb of my birth Box Hill South comes in at 83! So with all I have achieved in my life I have moved one rung up the liveability scale or 0.003% improvement in 30 years! Don't say a word of this to DC.

Well BBO I tried to but things turned out not as I expected today. After my business breakfast at Wild Timor Coffee House I was supposed to be met by my best man in a 4 tonne truck to drive out to Tullamarine Airport. But he when he didn't arrive I had to track him down and found him finally half cut in my Thifty rental truck and not making any sense. So there was nothing for it but for me to jump in the drivers seat and set forth for Tullamarine in the rain and peak hour traffic driving this unresponsive hulk of a vehicle, with Parker snoring beside me. I get to The freight storage centre gate but they won't let me in without Customs papers, so I have to reverse the beast with no help and pull into the car park and all I get is abuse from these appalling hairy men in singlets who drive big trucks! What is their problem, surely if they see a smaller truck with Thrifty written all over it, they know to steer clear, anything could happen. Anyway after being informed Customs would not be available for 2 hours I set off for a coffee at Maccas but then found it is impossible to park a truck in Maccas at Tulla so headed off on the freeway and found myself opposite Gladstone Park Shopping Centre in a Maccas! I ordered a latte to have here and was given a half litre mug of grey coloured milk, with a hint of coffee flavour, what is that about? Anyway I was definitely doing my bit and pressing the flesh with the ordinary people at this stage. Back to Tulla and finally Customs clears my consignment of cargo from Egypt, but not after he had a good look at the sarcophagus and the Greco Roman statues, all above board of course, really why do they waste our tax payers money and my time. I mean why even question my statue of Zenobia from Palmyra as if I am some antiquities thief! Really. Anyway in retrospect what a day it has been and Parker is still [censored] so must provide some constructive feedback at our next performance review meeting.

BBO how prescient of you. I am off the new Wild Timor Coffee House in Carlton this very morning for an important business breakfast.

Funny you should mention herbs R&B my wife has pots of them all over our balcony and every dinner time she insists on asking me to "get me some thyme, get my some parsley". Nearly every time I come back with the wrong herb and that allows her to reinforce one of my few weaknesses on a regular basis. It is a real blank spot for me and I have suggested she put name plates on all the pots but of course she has no intention of doing that!

I am not sure it has ever worked. One A grader like Carey might get you into the finals but it won't get you the cup unless there are 6 to 8 other very good players and more. Think Abletts, Judd, Flower, etc. Great players still need quality help.

BBO as you have stated before, just driving your Merc amongst the poor lifts their spirits as it gives them a vision of what is possible, what they can aspire to. It is laudable that you would put aside some of your precious time to volunteer amongst the poor, at your own cost. Although you might want to talk to my accountant to explore what might be deductible in regards to your fuel costs, your time and other wear and tear on your vehicle.

DC is the multicultural sod a half Box Hill, half Blackburn skippy who has migrated to Borewood. That would explain it.

Have they reformed as Uluru?

Hey Macca, I think it is well overtime for you to update us on what you have been listening to lately!

Yes BBO I must admit I have been a touch maudlin since the announcement but I have returned from the members at Flemington totally recharged! Certain well connected colleagues have assured me that as far as they are concerned Tony is not finished. And apparently Her Majesty is not happy with Malcolm one little bit, according to dear old Flynty! And DC guessed correctly I did, at my lowest ebb, find myself drowning a few G&T's outside at the Builders Arms on Gertrude Street waiting for a bus, would I do it or wouldn't I? Then I realised in the 20 years I have lived in Fitzroy I have never seen a bus on Gertrude Street, they don't go down that way too many trams in the way I guess.

DC Heading off to Cuba in a few weeks so I am reading some Spanish books, though they are the equivalent of the old John and Betty readers that we once read in grade 1 I think. Anyway I have to brush up the Spanish just in case I run into Fidel while I am there. Desperate to get there before the Yanks get there in numbers and transform the place.

I just scrolled through the last 50 odd posts, that is time I won't get back. Best retire to bed with a good book, I think.

Is there half a chance we could all lift the level of conversation here? Chicken, cats, dogs,foxes, with lemon, like what are we eating now, with rice or not? 27 & 19. Is there more to life, that is worth exploring I wonder! OK probably not here! I better go to bed.

Well he was wearing a bright blue Hawaian shirt last time I saw him so my guess he is sunning himself somewhere in the Pacific. He did look a tad pastey, a bit like Return To Glory, a bit of sun will do him good.

And while we are talking Shaun Smith, I say he could play. One of Neale Daniher's biggest errors was moving this guy on when was it 1998? Neale never got the obvious that Shaun had another 3 years in him as a key position backman but not as a high flying forward. He had everything you needed as a key backman - that I remember.

Ahh BBO how good it is to read your dulcet tones again after your totally unfair enforced vacation. Only Biffen knows how many strings I tried to pull to overturn your ban and I more than anyone knows about the power of pulling strings! I battled strongly in your defence but the powers that be could not be swayed. Their demands were too much, you would not want to know the details. So be it but you are back and all is well, as if nothing has happened. Remember in adversity we must all stick together, that is my motto!

The description was correct at the time as JT was regarded as a top pick by the industry. What happened? Was it the hip problems? We have not seen the explosiveness or genuine speed as described and without the speed to give him time and space perhaps that impacts on his decision making because he has really struggled for composure at the top level.

Gibbo has won the B&F for your info. You know the roving third man up in the back Iine that has had zilch pressure on it all year. And now I have to hear that they are giving all the accolades to Yze, the backline mastermind! Sorry I am going to puke again.

Help this is surely domestic violence, I have contacted Lifeline but they are not interested. I come home after a hard day on the course expecting dinner and what do I get? Well yes dinner was very edible but SWMBO had set up multiple streaming devices of the Hawthorn Best and Fairest Count that is happening tonight! Our smart television, her laptop and iPad all streaming Clarko's eulogy to a threepeat that had me puking when he mentioned the efforts of Neita, Bruce and Yze! There was no where to hide in our modest, yet tasteful apartment. This is spouse abuse surely? At last count Gibbo has been overtaken by Cyril in the B&F as if anyone wanted to know. This is all payback for my refusing to pay $200 to accompany SWMBO to the GF to watch another one sided flogging.

Moons I think you should go to bed its obviously been a long day for you!

Sounds more plausible to me than this fuel reduction burn gone wrong story.

What the Dawks have identified a slight need for a role player on the half back flank, but only if two other preferred players get injured or something? Gee I hope they get their man!

And how often Garlett was feeding him and providing some leg speed and JKH as well.

I got dragged off to the Grand Final parade by my Hawk supporting in laws today. I decided to wear my MFC cap and shirt in defiance and it paid off. Jesse Hogan was in the back of one of the first few cars as the Rising Star and stopped briefly next to me frantically waving and although he was talking to a child next to him in the car, he did a double take when he noticed the colours and gave me a wink and a thumbs up! The next car was a let down with only Clarko and Hodge on board and I lost interest from there.

Biff I must remind you that you are not to talk or even acknowledge BBO until his month's Demonland suspension is completed! Otherwise you risk suspension for consorting!