Tarax Club

Our read of the tea leaves tonight suggests the season's trajectory has turned ever so slightly on an upward trend. Victory is tangibly close provided there is total team belief and commitment to the fundamentals.

A poor man's Steven May? ?

Guilty Your Honour! Deep into the last quarter at yesterday's match at the 'G exhibit "T" , timed at approximately 14 minutes and 30 seconds on the Fox Footy re-play. Jack Gunston's 'handpass' to Chad Wingard who went onto to kick the ball which Liam Shields would mark and goal from would make an NFL quarterback blush. The right hand holding onto the ball clearly provided the force to propel it 15 - 20 metres downfield to Wingard. The left hand 'fist' limply accompanied the action. Sam Frost's was in a hotly contested pack situation arms, bodies and ball being flung in multiple directions. Pleasingly the football gods favoured us.

Pleased to see you are back in ink Joeboy! Somewhat agree with your analysis with some notable exceptions. Jones - great second half Lewis - yin and yang Frost - confident and important O McDonald - played his part Harmes - outstanding all game T McDonald - signs of re-emergence Gawn - dominant all day Hibberd - reminiscent of old Lockart - provided some spark Salem - steady and brave Oliver - solid team contributor Hore - slow but clever Melksham - not his best Neal-Bullen - improved touch today Stretch - tried but limited Hunt - excellent forward pressure Brayshaw - never gives in Fritsch - better second half Wagner - bluecollar stops FlashChad Petracca - not drowning waving Garlett - come back Jeffy? Keilty - some impressive involvement MFC - team effort succeeds

Repulsing Hawthorn's desperate last forward foray, after the ball ricocheted off Marty Hore , was juggled twice by Chad Wingard, who was tackled superbly by Josh Wagner without drawing an infringement and extracted by Inspector Gadget extraordinaire Sam Frost whilst deep in enemy territory with only seconds to go would of made Houdini proud. Go Dees!

Just reflecting on Amber's (Pink lady ambassador) address to the assembled team this week from the club site. If that doesn't spark some response ... ! Actually the virtual pair of us are virtually about to run through a virtual brick wall ourselves! We wish to count ourselves among others to quote Amber " as the type of supporters who are not going to abandon ship when things get tough" Expecting an improved team performance this afternoon at the 'G with greater determination and fight.

Dear Mr Skuit, It appears you are expecting some high drama of operatic proportions come this Saturday Eve. Shades of the Ring-cycle (AFL season) perhaps. Heroic outsiders, wondering in the wilderness, responding to the siren's song. We're getting visions of Air Calvary (MFC) thunderously arriving from the sky at the 'G' to the tune of *Ride of the Valkyries to smite down the (s)aints. * Pulls the pants down on Hell's Bells! Your allusions to grimmer earlier times perhaps reflect your living circumstances in a post-colonial quasi-democratic semi-totalitarian state led by a formerly charismatic leader with a lust for longevity. "Otherwise, I'll be first to admit that I have no real idea of which Wagner is which when the ball is in play - especially when one or more of them share a Hitler youth haircut with ......" Back to more mundane matters, of those to be 'purged' from the victorious round four side re: "Out: the entire Wagner family" does that include Richard and Siegfried as well? Yours etc R&G

Just about to go to the fridge and get ourselves out a lovely cold can of Guinness stout. Brewed in Dublin of course. Hopefully it will go well with the West Coast weather back 'home'. Love the Boyoos to smite the smug "unbelievers" in the hoops. Now that would be a historic victory up there with 2015. ☔

So Ken 'Krypronite' Hinkley was channeling Gene Hackman as Lex Luthor that explains everything!

As the accidental perpetrators of 'coqnescent' may this latest addition to the linqua franca be perpetuated. We are much amused by the those grappling with it's possible meanings and the banter it aroused. To correct any erroneous perceptions out there in demonland, we may be rural and remote... Gerry has the dentures and the gentleman poster from Mansfield needs to beware of Brazilian Wandering Spiders, but cold packs and compression help apparently.

True.Barry, especially for a former goulban valley boy like your good self, where men were men and women ... Truth is today most blokes need to be a be fully coqnescent of their partners whims and desires and adjust accordingly. Anyways the track watchers reports are ebullient and entertaining.

So close but so far away. Attending tennis AM “she who must be obeyed” would not be impressed if.your top end correspondents ‘slipped away’ to pre-season?

With all this off-season eulogising and "monster" myth making about the new recruits in particular Brandon Preuss, well before the advent of the real stuff. When will the hype actually meet the reality or the reality meet the hype? Seems more than a whiff of bathwater out there post 2018. 6 drops of the essence of terror 5 drops of sinister sauce ... ... and now for a tincture of tenderness because without a touch of tenderness it might deestroy me oops too much!

Don't mean to be nitpicking! Birds of a feather have been known to flock together! Is that Sparrowhawk or has the SSP trigger being activated already and and an unloved Swallow made his way to the coop?

If young Toby is a patch on his namesake Peter Bedford. Brownlow medalist with the South Melbourne Swans, way back in the halcyon VFL days (some here may recall the Lakeside oval). He will be a most worthy recruit. Of course that is a very big “if”.

Has Freddie Clutterbuck nominated this draft?

Back at the very beginning of the John Northey Dreamtime! Have a distant memory of attending the opening match of the season at the “G” versus the tiges on that very hot late March Saturday arvo. Remember the win but the rest of is decidedly hazy. Of course sufficient cold ‘refreshment’ was necessary even in the shade of the old Southern stand to maintain adequate hydration levels that day. The video bears testament to players endurance and ultimate determination to win, qualities that Swoopers’ teams were rarely short of. Prior to the arrival of the professional era players maintained regular weekday employment or study. According to footy folklore, Ted Fidge who was a plumber by trade kept weights in his van, so if the opportunity arose he could do extras at the worksite. Ted did not possess the footy IQ or skills of Alan Johnson, Brian Wilson or Gary Lyon so he was not regularly selected for the firsts. Fast forward a few seasons to VFL Park Waverley on a dark wintry day. Faux magpie enforcer Darren Millane whacked Ted, who duly retaliated with a fearsome right jab which had the birdies singing and once powerful thighs reduced to liquorice legs. Unfortunately for Ted the live audience was considerably larger than TV ringside and the incident was in the centre of the play. Northey’s team discipline mantra was breached, the runner delivered the coach’s instruction, Ted left the field where he spent the rest of the afternoon on the bench. After serving what must have been an extended suspension.Ted never again played in the seniors, he was delisted at the end of the season.

Six of the best!

Of course just over the border is the “big banana”?. The local forest dwellers have been known to worship there. It seems recently discovered archaeological evidence exists of arcane if not bizarre ritualistic practices that go back centuries. Apparently these indigenes now known to anthropologists as ‘tourists’ initially formed a somewhat obscure provincial cult which grew exponentially over time to become almost pandemic in its appeal. Hence the expression ‘an old banana was once young and green’.

His pedigree suggests he has some definite 'mongrel' about him . Hopefully that can be positively channeled as controlled aggression on field. Attack the opposition offensively from the fullback position all the way downfield.

Trust it wasn't a dodgy echo beach cab merlot!

Bring back Thorpie!

and so ends today's lesson... Give them hell Demons!!!

Saved a certain goal in a very tight preliminary final contest with a goal square intercept. Has determination and courage in spades reminiscent of Sean Wight. Go Well young Smithy!

JB top summation overall, team performance improved markedly after half time as did many individual performances. Suggest alternative -Tyson teases again?