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Job Application Position: Chief Executive Platypus (CEP) Location: Yarra River, Melbourne Dear Members of the Yarra River Council, I am writing to formally express my interest in the position of Chief Executive Platypus of the Yarra River. With a unique blend of aquatic agility, executive vision, and the rare capacity to both lay eggs and manage a diverse ecosystem, I believe I am the ideal candidate to steward this iconic waterway into a thriving, sustainable future. Qualifications & Experience: Aquatic Mastery: Born and raised in the Yarra, I possess an intimate knowledge of its currents, bends, and best crayfish hideouts. Few candidates can claim such lived expertise. Governance & Leadership: As a natural burrow architect, I am experienced in both long-term planning and emergency flood responses. I also excel at delegation—otters, eels, and ibis alike have benefited from my collaborative management style. Community Engagement: Equipped with electroreception, I am uniquely skilled in sensing the needs of the community, even those unspoken. I maintain strong relations with frogs, ducks, and the occasional kayaker. Sustainability Vision: My commitment to clean waterways is personal—I live here. I pledge to oversee initiatives in pollution reduction, riparian restoration, and citizen splash enjoyment. Strategic Priorities as CEP: Establish a Platypus-Friendly Business Charter to balance human recreation with wildlife well-being. Launch the Riverbank Rewilding Project, promoting indigenous plants, insects, and the return of the mighty freshwater mussel. Advocate for “quiet hours” free of noisy outboard motors, ensuring serenity for all river-dwellers. Lead by example: continue foraging with diligence, resting responsibly, and delivering excellent backflips to inspire the next generation. In conclusion, I believe my natural talents, combined with a dedication to the health of the Yarra River, make me an outstanding candidate for Chief Executive Platypus. I look forward to discussing how I can contribute to this vital ecosystem’s prosperity. Yours sincerely, P. Ornithorhynchus Prospective Chief Executive Platypus

It's not really. For technical reasons, an extra mic in the audience adds a whole level of complication. Read time. The club press conferences (and it's the same for all footy clubs) are done with a fixed camera and a single stereo mic on the table/rostrum. As such, there's no editing or post-production, when the recording is finished they're ready to air. Once you start mucking around with multiple microphones you need post-production to sort it all out and time, costs etc. go through the roof.

Also sacked to create a circuit breaker and throw the cards in the air in the FD. e.g., hard to see Basset leaving if Goody had stayed. You can of course restructure the FD around an existing coach, and it has been done in the past with success - but just easier to blow it all up.

Re Trac, HS article suggesting that the club with the combination of interest/need and cap space is Adelaide.

HS article throws around a lot of possibilities, but points out that of the clubs that would be seriously interested, the only one that has salary cap space is Adelaide. The article also questions what's in it for us. In terms of a trade there are hardly any established key forwards available, and if we get picks, it's a comparatively weak draft.

Never seen so much positivity on DLand, even though King has yet to coach a match. This is why Goodwin was sacked. Optimism sells memberships and tickets.

Here's what you originally posted: "Obviously we need him to tick of which players to keep." Given that we've already delisted 6 players, that horse has bolted.

Only when a team/list capable of winning a flag appoints one. Which isn't the current situation, or even likely to be. The tendency is for experienced coaches to be appointed to struggling or at best, mid-table clubs.

Which may or may not include the occasional "just-catching-up" coffee with opposition players.

Ummm ... no we don't. We have a whole department whose responsibility is List Management. We even have a List Management committee. The senior coach has input to all this - as do a whole range of people across the FD - but this idea that he has to "tick off" players that we're keeping or targeting is just cloud cuckoo land stuff and nothing to do with the reality of how AFL clubs operate.

Jeremy Howe says hi. Left to go to the Pies where he was promised more time taking speccies up forward ... and we know how that turned out.

That was what I'd understood. Wasn't it Buckley himself who said on the Friday night broadcast that he'd been called back on Thursday?

Sure - though equally, assistants in other roles might disagree with you. But the point is that this is not going to be the scorched earth approach that some here have been advocating for. We may well see only one change in the line/gameday coaches. FWIW, if I was Chaplin and the offer is there (though he's contracted in any case), I'd be staying. He's already worked with Yze, and whatever happens you'd imagine that we'll be more successful next season than Richmond, which would give him more browny points.

Only Williams and Radford for the moment. Maybe Chaplin if he takes the Richmond (or other) offer.

"The Dees will keep multiple assistants on board in the changeover and King “doesn’t want to tip everything out”.

And that's all down to an assistant coach? The mind boggles.

Some of the comments re Buckley are pretty ordinary. The fact that the club had him on the short list of 2 speaks to how the selection panel saw him in comparison to the other candidates. He clearly has a lot to offer, but equally as clearly, wasn't ready to commit. The question as to whether King or Buckley are the better choice is moot, we'll never know.

After all the time he's spent at Geelong, you'd think that he already knows all there is to know. Hard to see how another couple of weeks will make a difference in that regard, it's not as if he's involved in trading/drafting.

It's a meaningless stat without context and without removing confounding variables. e.g., given that there are a limited number of second-time coaches to go round, there will always be more first-time coaches. i.e., even if their success rate is the same, you'd expect to see more success from first-timers simply because there are more of them. But then you have to look at who they're coaching? Are teams lower down the table more likely to take an experienced coach, as we did with Roos? If that's the case - which I would think it is - it would skew the success stats considerably. etc. etc.

Wasn't Lade at St Kilda during Alan Richardson's last year there (2019)? He's listed as Senior Assistant.

Yes, going to be some way back from here, regardless. But Merrett knew that when he agreed to the meeting.

Don't hold your breath.

I've also been saying the same thing. Though good line coaches are good line coaches, regardless of where they played.

You've just spelled out why the AFL want him for Tassie - and are doing all they can to make sure he gets there.

Caracella is Richmond's midfield coach. Their forwards coach is Chris Newman, who had a long career playing as (checks notes) a defender.