Supermercado

This is what you get following a team that hasn't bottomed out since colour TV was invented. Imagine going into so many games confident of a win that it's a surprise when you're expecting to lose.

Forget curing diseases and flying to Mars, I want to invest in virtual reality technology that allows us to play classics like Melbourne 2013 vs North 2022. I think we'd just win but it would be a ripper. Neeld very lucky to get three of his five wins against GWS when they were rubbish. If nothing else - and there isn't much - he can say he was 3-0 against Kevin Sheedy and coached our highest scoring fourth quarter of all time.

Acquire all tapes of the Friday night game against Freo where Modra kicked 10 and burn them.

Also the night that Fev taunted Joel Macdonald about a winning a TV last time they played on each other, to which Macdonald replied "at least I've got a home to put a TV in" 👍

Do all the fancy pie charts and statistics lead to the conclusion that we're not kicking enough goals?

That tweet is terrible news for people who like punctuation. Great news for us getting some unnecessary free kicks on Thursday.

I'd run in with a chair WWE style to help Jones in that bout.

And our fans were booing Ginnivan in the opening minutes despite never playing a game against us. Don't hold your breath waiting for rational behaviour by footy fans.

I was just going to do this anyway, but what a farcical system that it can't help but generate data that you need to ignore.

For the first time ever my kid has expressed an interest in going, so I use my membership barcode to log into Ticketmaster, choose 'member guest ticket 6-14 years' and pay $3.50 extra booking fee only for her to be assigned a spot in what seems to be a completely different part of the ground to the one I've been assigned on my digital membership. I can't confirm this, because that's got me sitting in section 'GA42' which I don't think exists, and while an entry gate would give me some clue about which stand I'm supposed to go to, the bit where it says 'see below' for details doesn't have any details It's an ambitious game to take a guest to but JFC what a farcical process. Given that I've been assigned a seat in a fictional area I'll just take up the spot next to the guest ticket, wait for the actual ticketholder to turn up and try to negotiate.

For my entire adult life any bad Melbourne news chilled me because I thought it would stop us from ever winning a flag. Now we have I can't bring myself to get upset about anything short of armed robbery. Good luck to all involved, won't mean a thing by September.

I can't take TV and print journalists sooking about people consuming a product differently as if their business models haven't been completely upended in the last decade.

Oliver - nothing but accumulation

Will help if we don't give away a kilometre of 50s against them next time

I don't think he's going to have to get to Casey beyond September so the last few months of the ban shouldn't hurt too much

She had that one three goal game... and about three more in the other 20. Never went near it this year. I'm interested to see what happens with Shelley Scott. She has had a very good career but looked shot this season.

Now Parry is going too. If we keep losing the fringiest of players expansion will have done no harm to us.

Noble should sue for defamation if he sees this. There can be no unkinder comparison.

Hope Clarko took the tapes from last year, where they short-circuited our sick intercept marking power by scrubbing rubbish kicks along the ground.

Journos at the start of the season - 'Will [rubbish team] win a game this year?' Journos after Round 6 - 'Will [undefeated team] lose a game this year?' ... and every year the answer is yes, and yes. Same as the question "Does Barrett write rubbish that should be ignored?"

This is a very similar name to that $cully guy who used to play for us. Amazing coincidence.

If the plan's not bold or radical, Eddie's not interested. And this isn't even going into his mad idea to give the winner of the old pre-season cup a bye into the finals, or his bold plan for theatre marketing.

I'd love to cop a rubbish free in the goalsquare and go right off.

Good luck to the local umpires who are going to have to pay 50s for this. I suspect they'll be making their decision based on how likely the player is to deck them.

Victorian teams playing home games against GWS, Gold Coast, Port and Freo suggest the AFL weren't all that serious about getting crowds in this week.